Doms Side of things

[ox****]

How do you guys deal with the guilty feelings about your kinks? Do they bother you at all? Or how did you come to accept that side of you? Especially if you're open and willing to do more darker sides of bdsm? If that makes sense?

[Cypress079]

I have long since Came to terms with what I do
I make my partner enjoy themselves more than they thought they could I use safe words to keep it in control so if they can't take it then they can stop it and it allows them to be able to yell stop and no with out it stopping the fun

[Am****]

I’ve always been dominant. I get more annoyed that it’s hard to find a woman that into the darker kinks and BDSM stuff. Just kinda annoyed I’m so into it and when I see porn of it I get super turned on. Mostly cnc stuff and heavy rough stuff. I totally understand why woman take a long time to trust men on though things. CNC turns me on massively and I sometimes feel bad that I like it. Rap play also but I’m smart enough that if a safe word is used I stop right away. It’s also hard to find a play partner for those kinks I find

[un****]

her aftercare is my aftercare and that may not make sense so let me explain i fall quite a ways into the darker side of things i have fairly strong sadistic desires however with that also comes intense feelings of guilt from the fact that i caused all of that *** even though it was between two consenting adults and how i deal with that is taking care of and nurturing her so food, water, cuddles, stuffy etc you get the point and as i take care of her and she feels better my guilt gradually diminishes and i no longer feel guilty about the things i’ve done and the things i am inevitably going to do again

[Am****]

3 minutes ago, undeaddom said:

her aftercare is my aftercare and that may not make sense so let me explain i fall quite a ways into the darker side of things i have fairly strong sadistic desires however with that also comes intense feelings of guilt from the fact that i caused all of that *** even though it was between two consenting adults and how i deal with that is taking care of and nurturing her so food, water, cuddles, stuffy etc you get the point and as i take care of her and she feels better my guilt gradually diminishes and i no longer feel guilty about the things i’ve done and the things i am inevitably going to do again

Well well said their been times I stop have way through thinking why am I like this. The first time I cried for like a hour and felt like I was a monster for what I wanted and liked. Yes I had fun but yes I felt like a bad person afterwards

[ch****]

As long as there is no *** or unasked-for *** involved, as long as what is done is done out of love and with respect and affection, I don't see anything wrong with any of it. I believe God gave all of this to us to use in order to love each other. Nothing is immoral or unethical as long as it is done between consenting adults, and with true affection (18 y.o. where I am.)

[Am****]

3 minutes ago, chobers said:

As long as there is no *** or unasked-for *** involved, as long as what is done is done out of love and with respect and affection, I don't see anything wrong with any of it. I believe God gave all of this to us to use in order to love each other. Nothing is immoral or unethical as long as it is done between consenting adults, and with true affection (18 y.o. where I am.)

Still find it hard to remember that. The woman was like wtf as she was fine and felt I respected her limits. I was more one that was felt like I may have fucked up I was also 23 at the time and had never done anything like that. I didn’t know how to react

[un****]

5 minutes ago, Aman94 said:

Well well said their been times I stop have way through thinking why am I like this. The first time I cried for like a hour and felt like I was a monster for what I wanted and liked. Yes I had fun but yes I felt like a bad person afterwards

i used to be like that when i was 18 but as the years have gone on i’ve learned how to deal with it because dom drop is real and god damn does it completely just fuck with your head and the perception of the things you’ve done

[Am****]

34 minutes ago, undeaddom said:

i used to be like that when i was 18 but as the years have gone on i’ve learned how to deal with it because dom drop is real and god damn does it completely just fuck with your head and the perception of the things you’ve done

Ya ya me to

[NickSki666]

Wow, yeah, so my first true experience in the lifestyle was with a true masochist. I think our session lasted 8-9 hours. She actually had to after care me. I cried. I never lost control or focus and we were in full communication the entire time but after it was over, I felt like shit. I carried it for a long time and it’s made me a better Dom. Like I’ve said before in another topic chat, the only thing that keeps me from being scared for life is she told me she wanted every bit of what I gave her. We had clear safe words in place but she never used them. Now I know after that that I have the same power to say fuck this I’m not doing it. I mean I knew I had that power before, but now I’m more aware of that power. It’s not worth either of us dealing with physical and psychological damage. She was so fucking proud of my work. Sent me so many pics of here admiring them. I stepped away for awhile and went totally vanilla. But the silver lining is I’m always aware. I’ll never take someone else’s word over my own gut feeling. I’ve made peace with it and looking back I could say I might consume of the things that were performed again. But the trust has to be deep. Can’t be any hesitation in either. Thanks for posting this. I know of all places I’d find people who get it here. It’s refreshing to open up a bit about that. It’s up there for most memorable moments in my life. I’ll never brag about it to anyone. Maybe 2 people know that entire story. But I’ll always carry it. You live and learn. No regrets. Thanks for this.

[Am****]

Ya nick nick their been 2 times girls and wanted something I tried it was like not I can’t do it. The one was because of a huge age gap i felt weirded out doing, both over 19 but big age gap. I try living with that no regrets towards my kinks but hard some times

[NickSki666]

Yeah man, it’s ok to say no. Might fuck up a seemingly good time but it’s not worth either of your sanities. Yours or theirs. You live to fight another day. And you sleep soundly.