YorkshireBiker Posted October 19 Posted October 19 I’ve had a search and can’t find much about this in the forums, and while I could look online, I value the real genuine input from people here. My wife had signs of perimenopause and the doctor has confirmed this. She gets all the horror stories from people about all the bad aspects of the menopause, but are there any benefits, or at least positive aspects you have experienced? It’s the start of the next journey of our lives and neither of us know what we can expect and I get it may not help her, but at least we can discuss some good things that may come of this instead of all the negatives.
DeviantInside Posted October 20 Posted October 20 So… please bear in mind that this is third hand. When I was c. 24 I met someone on the scene who was 19 years older. They went through menopause while we were together (we were together for 8 years and are still good friends). From that experience… there was a dip in sex drive but also a massive increase afterwards. I have also spoken to people that her gone to the extreme one way or the other. It is entirely personal and also what engages you… in my oh so humble opinion
Se**** Posted October 20 Posted October 20 This is such a nice thing to read. It’s lovely that you’re there for her and want to enter this next chapter together. I don’t have any positive stories per se but I also don’t have any horrific horror stories. Did she see the women’s health specialist at the GP? Most surgeries have one and they are much more knowledgable and helpful than the regular GP (nothing against GPs, they all have areas they are more knowledgable in/interested in). Has she been started on any medication? If she’s agreeable to it (and suitable for it) I cannot recommend HRT strongly enough. It is massively beneficial even in peri menopause. The other thing I’d recommend would be to watch the Davina McCall documentaries (they were on channel 4) about it. They are fascinating, supportive and informative x
LitSwitch Posted October 20 Posted October 20 So big thing is, if she is experiencing symptoms that are effecting her quality of life, have her talk to her provider. If they aren't knowledgeable about perimenopause and menopause, hopefully she can see women's health. For those who were born female, vaginal dryness that causes *** with sex is quite common during perimenopause and menopause as the tissue has less estrogen. Topical vaginal estrogen is safe for almost all patients as it is absorbed locally. Dr. Rachel Rubin and Dr. Marie Claire have some awesome education on social media platforms.
LostBabyGirl Posted October 20 Posted October 20 I started with symptoms at 36, had a breakdown at 40 and diagnosed in perimenopause. Went on HRT which honest to God saved my life. I struggle with about a million negative symptoms, but one of the positives was I got my sex drive back. I'd been dead from the waist down for 10 years, 3 months on HRT and I was humping the furniture. I also got 'me' back, the zesty, feisty, cheeky, fun me. I downloaded the Balance app which has lots of info on it, places to ask other users questions, symptom and period tracker. I've found it pretty helpful. Davina Mccall is a huge menopause advocate and she shares a load of stuff on IG. I hope your wife has as few negative issues as possible!
Ho**** Posted October 20 Posted October 20 It's so different for everyone, impossible to generalise - which includes that there's absolutely no reason to expect the horror stories. Like anything, those who have a terrible time need to talk about it so that's what we hear most of. But for example, my friend's periods just stopped out of the blue, no hassle at all, then she started hot flushes two years later but wearing layers that were easy to take off and put back on (cardigans etc) was enough to make them trouble-free - plus a husband who didn't get grumpy when she kicked the covers off and reached for them again :) I had similar experience, my cycle suddenly very irregular but otherwise no different and no other symptoms until a few years after periods ended, then hot flushes but only one or two a year which was very tolerable! They continued several years after my cycle stopped; nothing about this stage is predictable. A benefit: hot flushes save on heating bills ;) (seriously - I stopped putting the heating on so early, got into the habit of wrapping up warm and awaiting my moment to get undressed ready for bed!) And once it's over it is such a relief to be free of the hassle and cost of menstruation. One point, though: once it's all over, you will get through more lube ;)
P_**** Posted October 20 Posted October 20 Can I just say what a lovely husband you are for this post ☺️ I just turned 40 and have a couple of possible signs but nothing major yet. I live in *** of losing my sex drive completely so I'll be going to the doctor when I feel it's time. Is say it's already a bit lower especially when my periods due but still kicks in majorly around ovulation and my cycle is still regular so I don't think they'd help me much at this point! Good luck to you both 🖤
YorkshireBiker Posted October 20 Author Posted October 20 We’ve not started anything yet, HRT, women’s health, etc. I’ve kind of seen this coming for a few moths but there was some denial on her part (which I get is quite normal) so we’re on the first step of this journey, accepting its in front of us. I’m just looking to increase my knowledge and understanding of what we can expect to make sure I’m there in whatever capacity I need to be.
Se**** Posted October 20 Posted October 20 18 minutes ago, YorkshireBiker said: We’ve not started anything yet, HRT, women’s health, etc. I’ve kind of seen this coming for a few moths but there was some denial on her part (which I get is quite normal) so we’re on the first step of this journey, accepting its in front of us. I’m just looking to increase my knowledge and understanding of what we can expect to make sure I’m there in whatever capacity I need to be. Davina McCall is your best friend right now x
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