MENTAL HEALTH BENEFITS OF BDSM & KINK

[sardonicus87]

It has only hurt my mental health by making me feel more alone, more misunderstood, more alienated, more unwanted.

[ra****]

It's incredibly regulating when I can receive it how I want it, but can also be the opposite when I can't receive it or it wasn't how I wanted and needed. There's definitely connections between who is most likely to be in BDSM spaces and mental health.

[sardonicus87]

For instance, there's national parties for various kinks. For pretty much all kinks... except for mine. Hell, half my kinks are now border-line or effectively banned from the largest kink site there is, and they aren't even that extreme.
.
If you're not into D/s dynamics and not into rope or wax... well to many people, that's the whole of BDSM. It seems at least 95% of the scene doesn't seem to realize there's even any other possible dynamics other than D/s and M/s power exchange, and if they do, it's only ever on-paper and not in reality as they continue to be D/s normative about everything, continue to misunderstand what it is I am, continue to make wrong (negative) assumptions about me, etc.

[Jenn4444]

Honestly, I've healed many trauma scars through the safety of our community. The respect, care, communication, and retraining of the brain is so powerful. As a DV survivor, I was terrified of submitting. But then I met someone that brought me back into the community (***r was NOT a part of our community), I met a very caring pleasure Dom and throughout our time together we discussed why my limits were wheat they were and once our bond was solid and I mean rock solid and I knew he would never hurt me, we began retraining my brain and talking through the emotions as they arose. I'm telling you if you can build that connection, the healing possibilities are endless and open new doors to try new fun things together. Respect and communication is absolutely always key along with safety and consent. Love y'all!! Stay kinky loves!!

[Ma****]

Good coping mechanism and good healing mechanism if used correctly

[Shenna]

I found it helped my mental health because it gave me the power to say stop. When said, everything stops. It's helped me come to terms from past physical *** that when someone says stop it stops. Where as when I was a victim the ***r wouldn't stop. As much as I screamed stop please stop.

[L-****]

I find play scenes incredibly beneficial to my mental well-being. I’m sub & when I’m there, waiting, anticipating first strike or caress, there is such a sense of calm.
I’ve negotiated with this Dom or top & have chosen to be there, I’ve given that person my trust & myself. What happens next is their choice. The only rule left is ‘I may hurt you, I will never harm you’

And when you can find that, it’s beautiful & calming & utterly empowering

[th****]

It’s a very thin tightrope. When with a good dom it’s one of the best things I’ve had for the extra support and guidance. It can make it worse when with people who aren’t educated or just want to hook up and not understand the person.

[HeadMistresValencia]

15 hours ago, Chevi86 said:

Idk, I feel like it helped me when I was with my partner but after exiting my relationship it feels like a massive need that can't be met.

This is definitely a struggle that I have seen too. Opening up to someone new and letting them in on this side of oneself can definitely be a challenge.

[Gi****]

@Lady-shamrockleo, I tried to dm to kp it private but settings... I'd really appreciate your insight, I'm in a similar position (for eg my wee ones pull my trousers for attention, my brain knows it's just them and copes, my body wants to climb out of my skin however because.. conditioning. If you can share with me how to lessen the effects of my own experiences of sa and the CPTSD it eventually manifest as.
If you have time, please msg me, I've never heard anyone else articulate the same issue. Tc all

[Ka****]

12 hours ago, Just-a-dude said:

Been trying to enter this world for a few months and tbh no help at all. It's been just as detrimental to mental health as every other app. Nothing but scammers and rejection.
I've given up .

Maybe try a workshop or a munch? Honestly not had a lot of luck here from the lady side either - a lot of blokes think kink is just authorisation to be a sex pest. You're not alone!

[Ba****]

It’s ***d me to get better at self-reflection so I am better able to articulate my needs to my partner. I’m able to fully commit myself to the moment and centre myself. I am more emotionally mature, better able to communicate and understand my worth and value.

[Deleted Member]

I find it can do both. First, it depends on if a person finds a healthy partner or if they’re in a downward spiral. If I were in a downward spiral and jumped into a series on one nights kinky stands not based on a foundation of trust, then it would be a great big red alert for me struggling with mental health. If I’m with a partner that takes various mental health related struggles that some people might have( or history of sexual ***, physical ***, eating disorder, depression, physical disabilities, learning disabilities, chemical addictions, or whatever other things a person might struggle with that makes them unique but certainly not less than or unworthy), then it can be empowering rather than hindering. Feeling freed by various pleasures in a mutually supportive and consensual adult relationship isn’t a bad thing, though most feel ashamed because we have needs that are very non-traditional. They’re needs rather than interests. It can help some cope with some of these struggles. I wouldn’t agree that it replaces other forms medical approaches, but I don’t think it is harmful if the situation is carefully chosen.

[ap****]

Yes

[na****]

It gives me an escape and allows me to be the totally opposite of who I am. The Vulnerability is amazing and the people are awesome

[Deleted Member]

BDSM has help a lot because finding someone who’s craving attention makes me feel like am wanted I don’t feel alone most of the time

[Ma****]

I finally told my husband that I am bi and I want to watch him with another female and I get half a dozen short messages and then nothing what is the problem.

[wi****]

For half a century I tried to keep my kinky fantasy to myself and it's been a waist of my sex life and god given time on this planet my mental health has become a little bit more of a concern as of late it's been a very long year and that's not so bad in January of 24 I decided to go out and find a lover who would like my kinky fantasy and I did just that I thought I'd found the 1 for a few months then I lost her I Guess I mean. I know I was delusional my heart was having such a great time for a change I just didn't want to break the news to it so I played along for as long as I could play but it ended July and I had to face the facts of what I just what relationship was really just in and it's been rough but I got to dust myself off and get the f*** back out there I mean what else is there for a middle aged introvert to do let's try again

[Ka****]

4 hours ago, MarieandRawlin said:

I finally told my husband that I am bi and I want to watch him with another female and I get half a dozen short messages and then nothing what is the problem.

Some people don't want to be watched
A lot of women want to be more than a sex object- you see their frustration all the time.

The problem is as a woman youre feeding into a culture that already destroys so many women's self worth and self respect by treating them as a free pro**titute and feel like they should be grateful you allow your husband to sleep with them. Its a MASSIVE turn off to many I assume, as it would be to me if someone spoke to me with the intention of being a toy for your husband with no regard for who I am as a person or what I want!

[DC****]

I'm still really new to this lifestyle but it has already helped me to be more open minded and adventurous , im ready to try new things and experiment with new ideas

[ey****]

23 hours ago, Just-a-dude said:

Been trying to enter this world for a few months and tbh no help at all. It's been just as detrimental to mental health as every other app. Nothing but scammers and rejection.
I've given up .

I'm sorry to hear this

And, I've seen others on this which is similar; and I don't wish to single anyone out

This ties in with what I'm saying above.  If you hinge your MH on getting results, it is going to - in many cases - make things worse : because no matter what you do or don't do, you cannot control someone else's responses.   And meeting people is hard, and putting stock into relationship or connection is risky

 

[Ju****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'm sorry to hear this

And, I've seen others on this which is similar; and I don't wish to single anyone out

This ties in with what I'm saying above.  If you hinge your MH on getting results, it is going to - in many cases - make things worse : because no matter what you do or don't do, you cannot control someone else's responses.   And meeting people is hard, and putting stock into relationship or connection is risky

 

The question wasn't if my mental health HINGED on this but does it HELP. And the answer is no. Because just like the other aspects of dating... most people have super unrealistic expectations due to the unrealistic lifestyles promoted online as normal.
Am I happy in the rest of my life... yes. I have a great career making 6 figures. I have several vehicles. I have great kids and am a great father. Those aspects of my life are amazing. But it does beat on my mental health to be judged by people who can't afford to pay attention, and to be called ugly and broke by people who are overweight and have no job... constantly... yes. While someone who is unemployed and an ***r, not part of this lifestyle.... can swoop in and get dates... does tnst weigh on my mental health.... absofrigginlutely. Just like any NORMAL person would.

But the question was what did the lifestyle do for my mental health benefits or something positive about the lifestyle. Which I stated my experiences as trying to break Into a world that is SUPPOSED to be FREE of judgement and shame....
As just the opposite....

It did NOT do anything to help my confidence... ( as asked )
It did NOT reduce any stress... ( as asked)
It did NOT improve my mental health.

Once again... as asked. It did not ask if my mental health HINGED on this.

But I mean I'm so glad constantly being judged and rejected isn't by any means a reason to reduce any of these according to several. ... smh.

[Un****]

Its help by letting me explore and heal from my past traumas 💔

[se****]

BDSM helps with my mental health issues.

[wi****]

My life has totally changed sincei have a mistress who is into wearing rubber like me it is so enjoyable and relaxing being pegged etc