sl**** Posted November 13 Posted November 13 How do I go about finding a Dom cause I keep this side of me hidden
FETMOD-BD Posted November 13 Posted November 13 We’ve not had one of these posts for a while so I’m letting this one run. Keep it respectful and provide helpful advice please.
ey**** Posted November 13 Posted November 13 the first thing to remember when looking for a Dominant is this has to be something which benefits them - very few are interested in being someone's experiment, or handholding someone who has done little/no basic ground work After that. While there will be some on sites like this (boost your chances by doing the previous) partaking in a local kink community; go where the people are. Meet people, make friends, and see where things go
4R**** Posted November 13 Posted November 13 I suggest that before you start looking for a Dominant, you do some research into what the D/s lifestyle is about and what's involved. If you're brand new to kink, then you may be better looking for a Top rather than a Dominant - If you don't understand the difference between these roles, then you've not done enough research and are not ready to look for either. Unlike us old farts who started out before computers were a thing (yes this was a time in living memory), the internet is your friend when it comes to research. A good place to start are the forums on this site. Then research anything you find interesting (google is good for that). Take your time and really get an understanding about what you're opening yourself up to so that when you do look for someone, you have some idea of what you're looking for and more importantly, you'll know how to keep yourself safe.
UK**** Posted November 13 Posted November 13 9 hours ago, slaveboy1123 said: How do I go about finding a Dom cause I keep this side of me hidden You have taken the first step by being here and asking questions. It won't be easy as there appear to be far more male subs than female dommes. Set your stall out clearly. What do you bring and what do you need. Your profile looks like you are trying to be something to everyone. You say you are a sub but you also list yourself as being an all-rounder? Your bdsm test has you with a larger dom score than submissive, so you might want to put some words on your profile to give background that may help someone understand that.
Hy**** Posted November 13 Posted November 13 you better off just flooding peoples inbox and puting yourself out there. Yeah some ppl might want a bio. But you a sub / slave you message the right person you’ll be fine. You see how many ppl willing to talk to you already, idk what your worried abt
CopperKnob Posted November 13 Posted November 13 You don't. You look for a partner with whom you can share all parts of you and then focus on the type of relationship. Unless what you mean is a Top?
Re**** Posted November 14 Posted November 14 My Dear, this is Not a game, make sure this is what you really want! When I started out 4 years ago, I had an idea but I really didn’t know what it really entailed. I met a couple of “Bad” Masters- 1 Locked me in an Airtight trunk for 8 minutes for the fun of it! That was my moment of experiencing slow death. Please go to the website BDSM.org I thing and read up. They is a great website with much information, that I learned so much. Go to the cage.com. I don’t want what happened to me happen to you. Be very careful. I met my Master on Alt.com. There are a few very good (Real Masters on here) that will advise you. Good Luck and please be careful!
mi**** Posted November 14 Posted November 14 Copper, I have read your back story, I would definitely like to tal, if nothing else. That being said, if you choose not to follow through, I do want you to know that you are in alignment with the reality, not just the fantasy. And I hope for you, peace, serenity and the wonders of our universe
mi**** Posted November 14 Posted November 14 Got a visit, Fet admonished, rightfully so my attempt to address CopperKnob directly. They are concerned for all members, awesome to know. All that aside. Copper, I must apologize to you directly. Forgive my intrusions, I meant nothing other than my highest respect for your principles and ethics. Again. I hope for peace and serenity.
4R**** Posted November 14 Posted November 14 5 hours ago, bristol753870 said: ***** can’t find the right person Who’s *****?
CopperKnob Posted November 14 Posted November 14 2 hours ago, 4RCH said: Who’s *****? Exactly. I quoted this profiles earlier comments where they'd referred to ***** questioning whether they were doxxing the OP. That and the previous were deleted, so I'm guessing they were and didn't learn their lesson. . I'm also guessing it's why the other dude is attempting to apologise to me because Mods stepped in.
FETMOD-BD Posted November 14 Posted November 14 1 hour ago, bristol753870 said: Very sorry ***** needs to be taught a lesson Well someone certainly does - Which I have actioned as requested!! Lets keep this thread for advice to the OP
Se**** Posted November 14 Posted November 14 2 hours ago, CopperKnob said: Exactly. I quoted this profiles earlier comments where they'd referred to ***** questioning whether they were doxxing the OP. That and the previous were deleted, so I'm guessing they were and didn't learn their lesson. . I'm also guessing it's why the other dude is attempting to apologise to me because Mods stepped in. Did I miss fun again???
CopperKnob Posted November 14 Posted November 14 24 minutes ago, SerendipitousKeeper said: Did I miss fun again??? Yep, you and I both!
mi**** Posted November 14 Posted November 14 slaveboy1123, don't just random text everyone who claims to be a dominant, some could not find their ass with both hands let aside yours. There is more than enough literature and open discussion for you to fine tune your wants and desires. Don't be in a big hurry. I do not drink but I am told the best tastes better because of patience.
di**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 Meet public playspace consult other kinky women they will advize you .. many women would approach me based upon referral. Many bdsm classes
Ki**** Posted November 27 Posted November 27 Go on FetLife, find local munches and classes / workshops. Go along and meet people and learn more about how to do kink safely. Make friends at events, in the community. If you treat people with respect, and as real human being rather than opportunist for play, eventually they will warm to you, trust you and potentially invite you in to play. If you can build up a good reputation, and meet lots of nice people you will likely find a partner.
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