Deleted Member Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I reckon it's more lust than love. It can gradually evolve into love though
di**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 Opus cartoon - what does opus and the .artian have in common? They are both carbon based units! Fare to.much hallmark moments . Lites dim music swells.. My culture one dwelling two wives five kids lol
No**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 It is more about the connection! The kink just accelerates the feelings. The trust required to be successful in kink creates feelings when the play goes well.
Un**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I don’t do kink without love/relationship. I do it to express both trust and willingness to provide a healthy environment for my ‘partner’.
Bi**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I believe that they are separate! Fulfilling kinks can lead to love and at the same time out of love people will come out of their comfort zone to fulfill kinks. But were they are separate is that you can love a person that doesn’t align with your sexual appetite and stay with them unconditionally for it. And in the same lens, you can go through multiple people that feed your kink and not fall in love with any of them. There is a thin line between the two, but I believe that they are separate
Ma**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 All depends on the people involved. Some people are too uncomfortable either way. Some can’t get kinky unless they are in love with a person and others won’t get kinky with someone there in love with. I don’t love them so I can’t trust them to be free or thats someone I truly love and don’t want them to look down on me because of my kink.
Bi**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 My kinks are definitely affiliated with love otherwise it would be considered a fling an organized and planned activity then you fling the person you were involved with away.
Fa**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I think the most erotic and satisfying kink is with someone that you are deeply in love with. It may not be the safest, (you can safely explore kink with someone you don't love), but being in love often makes trusting easier, allowing for the pushing of boundaries.
Ki**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 Met my first sub on FetLife and fell very much in love. We got married 5 years later, but still a Dom/sub couple. Then we opened up and became poly, and met our girlfriend on here who is now also collared, and very much in love as a three. That said, I also do kink with friends, so it doesn’t have to be about love, but the connection of owning someone builds a special kind of closeness
Si**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I think it depends on the person. I would love to find someone to love as kinky and freaky as me. Someone to explore and fulfill our fantasies together. Until then I'll be kinky and freaky by myself, because I love myself. The act of allowing yourself to be who you are truly is love in itself.
Strider6000 Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I believe love is real, and I describe it as the longing, care, and connection that you have to someone. But most of the relationships I've had end because of what you described. Once kink fulfillment is no longer new and exciting, many people fall out of love- because they couldn't tell the difference. I cannot let go of the love I have for people for months after they're gone, because sex is always love for me. Sex without love would make me so sad and empty I would die. So yes, true love does exist. Some of my exes never truly fell in love with me but merely felt fulfilled. It's hard to tell the difference. It's sad, but I guess it depends on the person? There should be a scale of chemical vs. true love because everyone experiences it differently.
th**** Posted November 15 Posted November 15 I think it depends on the person. For some people, kink and love are connected and for others it isn't. Just depends. I don't think there's any inherent connection, but those are my thoughts
DanAllKinks Posted November 15 Posted November 15 Imo. Love lacks a definition mostly because it's something to aspire to in a purely subjective way. Kinks are e catalist for higher Love. I don't think Love is sustainable without kinks, but kinks don't need Love to be sustainable. Kinks are an extremely important part of the self without which any Love withers. Mainly because Love needs one to know and accept himslef to express love. If that's blocked then shame, regret, and a number of coping mechanisms develop which malforms and errodes the individual to oblivion
id**** Posted November 16 Posted November 16 Loving to be able to have a person to share your thoughts and desires with that understands what you want/need to feel wanted and craved to be honest and them honest the same. But having a partner to help each other with experiencing the different types of things that excite us and make things happen for one another but for the best for us together. To be able to experience new things of making someone else feel pleasure and have them want to give pleasure to me as well. But having fun making it a experience for US TO JUST LIVE AND LOVE EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY BUT THE 🗝️ IS (TOGETHER)...
st**** Posted November 16 Posted November 16 Love is kink, separating one from the other is like trying to take apart the mind, body and soul. Breaking it to its core we might never put it back together.
Ce**** Posted November 16 Posted November 16 Love is formed from the connection that's built. Sharing kinks and having a unified desire just intensifies it
Ms**** Posted November 17 Posted November 17 If you want love to be part of kink, then so it shall be. No one can dictate or decide what you're feelings will be with your partner. Love has degrees (levels)...so much so that you can love but not be in love. You have to find out what love your are feeling in these kink situations.
Ke**** Posted November 17 Posted November 17 Oxytocin is generated when a person's body is getting aroused. You will probably experience love with the person you are making love with, assuming they align with your personality, world view and you like a lot of the same things. Oxytocin can not usually be missing for love to happen though; Oxytocin is the key to love. Oxytocin is the key; Can't say it too often. Kink adds excitement and enjoyment, but I'm quite sure Kink's affects would be limited without oxytocin. Oxytocin is the reason, relationship experts suggest no sex, until you are sure you want to marry the person you are dating. My point here is never underestimate the power of oxytocin.
ol**** Posted November 17 Posted November 17 For some reason LOVE is typically defined as a binary emotion: I love him/her or I don’t. Marriage/Monogamy/***/Forever. I think it’s on a continuum. I’ve had many partners who I was not committed to a long term relationship but they were much more than friends. I remember a detective novel: Smilla’s Sense of Snow. The Inuit apparently have 37 words for “snow”. They just know snow differently than we do. And I think we should have additional words to describe the connection I feel for some. Not LOVE!!! But close Aftercare means, to me: Do we CARE for each other AFTER we fuck? I consider BDSM role play, and after everyone is satiated and exhausted, it’s just consenting adults holding each other. Aftercare is as good a marker for some kind of love between us as I can think of
lo**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 Yesterday at 04:30 AM, Ken-Park-Rapids-MN said: Oxytocin is generated when a person's body is getting aroused. You will probably experience love with the person you are making love with, assuming they align with your personality, world view and you like a lot of the same things. Oxytocin can not usually be missing for love to happen though; Oxytocin is the key to love. Oxytocin is the key; Can't say it too often. Kink adds excitement and enjoyment, but I'm quite sure Kink's affects would be limited without oxytocin. Oxytocin is the reason, relationship experts suggest no sex, until you are sure you want to marry the person you are dating. My point here is never underestimate the power of oxytocin. Totally agree well said
ro**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 I didn’t believe in love when I was younger, just *** instincts and oxytocin. And then I met someone who changed that, and then he moved across the country with someone else and I gave up on life so hard that I almost missed the next one. Luckily he was patient and now I have been with him for 9 years and believe he is my soulmate or whatever.
xo**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 Personally I think it depends on the dynamic. My nesting partner has a few connections that are strictly kink-platonic.
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