Fi**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 I recently got out of a seven year relationship. I’m not heartbroken but there’s still some hurt to be healed. I was expressing to my friend that I want to play with others but I don’t want a relationship. But I’m really interested in knowing and connecting with a friend before we make benefits. He said that sounded really confusing and that I may not really know what I want. And I agreed with him. He suggested I trying to look for companionship instead of a relationship or FWB. It sounds like a really cool idea…. I just have no Idea what that means 😅 Anyone have any light to shed??
Fe**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 I am about 1.5 years out from a 6 year relationship. I had zero sec or even masturbation for 10 months. I didn’t even think of it. Then I was off to the races. It wasn’t something thought about or wanted to do. I just simply didn’t do it and I didn’t even know it, per se. Unsure where you live but if you want to chat feel free to reach bout. Maybe I’ll share some perspective.
ge**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 Companionship is simply having a friend that you hang out with and do stuff with, someone you may build a connection and chemistry with but not necessarily have sexual intimacy with, though that may develop naturally. . What you're talking about is entirely natural and something I have felt myself since the breakdown of my last LTR about 4 years or so ago - I don't want commitment or all the trappings of a "relationship" but would like to have someone I can enjoy life with - meals out, trips to the cinema/theatre etc and if there's a sexual side to it, it's secondary, that has trust and respect etc, but that if either of us say "you know what, tonight I want a night in alone" that's cool too.
DeviantInside Posted November 18 Posted November 18 Ok… what I would advise professionally is to take the pressure off. The brain sees change (especially major change like a break up) as potential threat. Do the things that gives your brain the happy hormones it needs. Spend time on yourself, explore hobbies, see friends and family, so exercise you enjoy. Engage with other people too. That may well find what you are looking for. (My clients hate that I keep telling them to do things they enjoy)🤣
Dee6617 Posted November 18 Posted November 18 Things will get better. 28 years for me...time heals all wounds.
Ca**** Posted November 18 Posted November 18 There is a blurring line where people mix relationship with sense of self. To me this post seems like you are very unsure. Without the relationship who are you? It will take a lot of time to get used to not having them there, especially if they were unhealthy or whatnot, because even then you can get used to that. I suggest getting a get to know you journal from half-price books. It might seem stupid, but it also might surprise you. Join groups, and do the opposite of what you would normally do. Complacency is also stagnant.
Ju**** Posted November 24 Posted November 24 20 years for me. I'm still adjusting even a year and a half later. Just exploring and having fun at the moment. I don't hurt like I did at first but I still feel like I'm in an episode of the twilight zone at times. As far as companionship, I'm curious what they meant too. A friend or a fwb is still a companion I would think.
Ca**** Posted December 6 Posted December 6 Ok new answer, when I was younger, I always imagined of companion as like a lifelong thing, like a ride or die. But also, your friends friends like they’re guilt tripping you, unless you weren’t up front. Then that sucks
ey**** Posted December 6 Posted December 6 companionship is... I mean there's potentially other variances - but if you imagine two elderly folk who are both widows who live alone, but then move in together to keep each other company but aren't in any form of what we'd say romantic/sexual relationship even if they're fond of each other - that'd be an example of companionship I guess other examples is someone who you go out to dinner, movies, whatever with so neither of you are on your own - but aside from friendship, that's the extent of relationship
ThePhoenix Posted December 8 Posted December 8 My bestie is my biggest companion. He has been there for me, every time I've been shitted on. We got out and have fun. We can talk to each other about anything. We go away for city breaks together. We see each other once a week and love baking and cooking up recipes. There is no sex, or playing, just a peck on the lips and lots of hugs. Companionship is having someone you can rely on, talk to and have fun with or just spend quiet moments in each other's company.
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