Are threesomes Kinky?

[De****]

2 hours ago, AmberAndNick said:

Sleeping with someone below his station in life? Perhaps.
Kinks defy societal norms. Is there anything wrong with that? No. They are an statistical abnormality that requires choice to go beyond the normal or stick to the normal.

I would say it’s not about statistical norms, but about societal standards. There are things that less than 50% of the population do but are relatively accepted by society. Hence the question, as threesomes have become relatively accepted in society are the no longer kinky? 100 years ago oral sex was not really considered taboo, not now it’s not. Not everyone does it, but it’s not in and of itself kinky.

[De****]

7 minutes ago, AmberAndNick said:

What would your definition for kink be?

That is the question that I’m posing ? What is kinky? Is it only things that society considers taboo? Is it thinks that most people don’t do? Does the definition of kinky evolve as society does? Like I said in my original post, there are no right or wrong answers. It merely a conversation to see the views and thoughts of others.

[Am****]

Thanks for the clarification

[Un****]

i define kink with BDSM which means its all. about dominance and submission in many flavors.
ive had very vanilla 3-somes, in fact they all were really, and im bi.

now that ive found my person, my one, DenverKitten and I are all about bdsm. ddbg, tpe, and that defines how we think about kink.

for me its not the acts you do while having sex, its what i do with my submissive baby Denver

[No****]

Interestingly, on some kink apps I occasionally see people list “vanilla” as a kink. With regard to threesomes, I suppose it depends on the value system of the people involved and of the culture they live within. In the United States, monogamy is still the default expectation for a majority of people - even if many deviate from that in private.

[De****]

5 minutes ago, NotInkedButKinked said:

Interestingly, on some kink apps I occasionally see people list “vanilla” as a kink. With regard to threesomes, I suppose it depends on the value system of the people involved and of the culture they live within. In the United States, monogamy is still the default expectation for a majority of people - even if many deviate from that in private.

So maybe it’s more about what feels taboo to the individual person, than what it seems to others ? 🤔

[No****]

17 minutes ago, DenverKitten said:

So maybe it’s more about what feels taboo to the individual person, than what it seems to others ? 🤔

I think it’s fair to say that. The brain patterns are probably pretty similar regardless of the taboo or perceived taboo being broken. Where threesomes might diverge from most other things we consider kinks is in the “special occasion” form they often take. For many of us on this app, our kinks are involuntary, integral parts of our identities. Not a birthday or anniversary treat. However I also believe non-monogamy can be the essential nature of many if not most humans, one that is often repressed much like kink identities are.

[Ma****]

Quick off topic question, because I don't want to message some random person to ask, can you guys see the emotes on my profile? 🤣🤣😅

[TD****]

5 hours ago, BigD_debris said:

If you’re familiar with the sodom and Gomorrah tale in the Bible then you’ll know that threesomes and orgy’s have been around for thousands of years. Back in those days it was not considered to be kinky or anything close to what we call bdsm now.
In fact it was a common practice globally and widely accepted everywhere. Then when God condemned man for his sexual orientation and prowess he destroyed sodom and Gomorrah and thus it became a sinful act to have sex outside of marriage or holy matrimony. So man’s sexuality was forbidden to be deemed normal and everyone went into the closet and kept those desires behind closed doors.
I don’t know how things progressed from there into the bdsm and world of kink that we know and still love today. But it’s something that has been a part of man probably since the Stone Age.

Some would say Sodom & Gamorrah was moreso about interspecies entanglement. Fallen angels and humans

[ja****]

I guess it would depend if you viewed group sex in general as kinky, for some who are more monogamous it can fit the criteria of being outside the sexual norm but for me I don’t think multiple people having sex in itself is kinky since it’s just more traditional sex, there needs to be added spice for it to qualify in my mind

[kn****]

It's all about perspective, a man who chooses two women or the women who chooses two men. As a straight man I see this in one way. But then when the primary ( man or woman )
chooses a man and woman. Well, whatever floats your boat. 🤔🤗

[Ar****]

It’s definitely kinky loll, anything outside of a normal relationship in my opinion is kinky… you can ask 30 ppl rn and they would all probably say that’s super kinky

[Co****]

They aren’t kinky unless you make them kinky. Threesomes are just sex between 3 people instead of 2. Now if you apply bdsm style dynamics and play to the threesome then sure, kinky. But at that point, is it a threesome or more of a group play scene 🤔

[No****]

Threesomes can also be an expression of power dynamics. If a female in a MF relationship isn’t into sex with other females but goes along with it to please her partner, that has a lot in common with D/s kink.

[kn****]

Thought, for a three way to exist there can be no jealousy, envy or competition.

[UK****]

1 hour ago, knoxville853745 said:

Thought, for a three way to exist there can be no jealousy, envy or competition.

If only this were true it would make it simpler.  

The reality for many is very different.  I won't expand deeply as it's a little away from the original question, however many enter into them to 'spice' up their own sex lives in the hope to keep what they have going.  As we are all humans, emotions still play a big part for many people.

[Dr****]

a really very interesting thread.
i'd like to add my thoughts on kink: what is a kink? as opposed to a fetish, something that is just nice to have. what is kinky? for me it's just a kind of playfulness or extra experimentation. this leads me to the conclusion that a threesome doesn't necessarily have to involve kinks but can be kinky, as the people involved often try something new, are keen to experiment and usually don't get to have such adventures in their normal dating life.... For others, it can be part of their normal sex life and therefore doesn't have to be kinky or involve any kinks.

[Ch****]

Yes a 3sum can become 'kinky' if adding BDSM ect to it  in my view, but what we might call 'spicing up' a traditional 2sum, some might call it kinky. I think it depends on which fence you are on. Kink folk here may think it as normal, vanilla folk might see it as kinky. I'm on another site that's traditionally for 3sums ect, a lot of couples say 'we are kinky but dont do any of that weird shit' (BDSM) 

Kink I guess is in the eye of the beholder 

9 hours ago, DenverKitten said:

I feel the same way. I don’t really consider it kinky. It is not the norm, but I do think it’d not uncommon at this point. However, I think an earlier comment was valid, in saying that it’s not about the amount of people. It’s about the play.

 

[Ob****]

It is an interesting question. In my opinion, threesomes are still considered non-vanilla and kinky. The definition of kinky is unconventional sexual practices. According to the most recent studies available, approximately 30% of people have reported to have engaged in threesomes. That is still the vast minority of people in the world. Of course, that is only reported. There is a margin for error. FET is also a small portion of society. And although a lot of people are engaging and searching for threesomes here, this site is just a small percentage of that 30%. In conclusion, I still believe that theeesomes are considered non-vanilla and kinky.

Having said all that, I am also considered your bitch, so I will believe anything you want me to believe. 😉

[eg****]

I don’t think it will ever become vanilla because the director, person in charge can always make it different. Scenarios, toys, etc
It is always fun to for example; MFM worship, adore, give their all to pleasure this woman the she wants it. On the other side of the coin they pleasure her the way they want to, she lets herself be taken over… then, there’s FMF with the same caviat…

[De****]

25 minutes ago, ObiOneBigBoner said:

It is an interesting question. In my opinion, threesomes are still considered non-vanilla and kinky. The definition of kinky is unconventional sexual practices. According to the most recent studies available, approximately 30% of people have reported to have engaged in threesomes. That is still the vast minority of people in the world. Of course, that is only reported. There is a margin for error. FET is also a small portion of society. And although a lot of people are engaging and searching for threesomes here, this site is just a small percentage of that 30%. In conclusion, I still believe that theeesomes are considered non-vanilla and kinky.

Having said all that, I am also considered your bitch, so I will believe anything you want me to believe. 😉

Oh my Obi I love you! I love the research and the thought process you put into it. ❤️

[De****]

4 hours ago, Drujanthee3 said:

a really very interesting thread.
i'd like to add my thoughts on kink: what is a kink? as opposed to a fetish, something that is just nice to have. what is kinky? for me it's just a kind of playfulness or extra experimentation. this leads me to the conclusion that a threesome doesn't necessarily have to involve kinks but can be kinky, as the people involved often try something new, are keen to experiment and usually don't get to have such adventures in their normal dating life.... For others, it can be part of their normal sex life and therefore doesn't have to be kinky or involve any kinks.

Hmm interesting thought. So I would as this, does a persons definition of kink change over time? Say, originally, a person rarely does impact with a paddle so when they do it, it feels very kinky to them. Then it becomes a regular part of their play so it no longer feels kinky to them? Maybe we each develop our own personal scale of kinkyness that evolves over time? 🤔

[De****]

5 minutes ago, egfabc said:

I don’t think it will ever become vanilla because the director, person in charge can always make it different. Scenarios, toys, etc
It is always fun to for example; MFM worship, adore, give their all to pleasure this woman the she wants it. On the other side of the coin they pleasure her the way they want to, she lets herself be taken over… then, there’s FMF with the same caviat…

What if there is no power dynamic or person in charge?

[ey****]

21 hours ago, DenverKitten said:

This is a question I ask myself regularly when using the app. It is very common to see a couple looking for a third to join them for some sexual fun. As long as everyone is consenting and into it, I think it’s wonderful. However, every time I see it I wonder to myself “when threesomes have become relatively common is it still considered non-vanilla and/or kinky?” There are no right or wrong answers, as much of BDSM, kink, and fetish is subjective?

So, yes. You're right.

It's subjective and there's no right or wrong answers.

in general the concept of threesomes is pretty mainstream and so almost vanilla.  Which would make it not kinky.   But, kink in general is any non-conventional sexual practices.  So, you could tell your mates about a wonderful person you had sex with. And I feel most people have mates they could say they had a threesome to.  But then on the flip, you could go down for breakfast in a family home with one person you brought home last night, you might not get away with it being two.

 

[Am****]

What about choking/ asphyxiation? Would that be kinky? A lot of people like that.

Kinky is through the lens of the individual I suppose, not the acts