The Lost Art of Domestic Discipline

[Deleted Member]

Is Domestic Discipline and Spanking in Marriage a Lost Art?

I've been thinking a lot about traditional relationship dynamics lately, especially the idea of domestic discipline (DD) between husband and wife. It seems like a concept that’s fallen out of favour in modern society, but for those who practice it, it can be deeply meaningful.

For those of you who follow or are curious about DD, do you think it still has a place in today’s relationships? Specifically, I’m wondering about the role of spanking in this dynamic.

From what I understand, spanking in DD isn’t just a punishment—it’s a way to reset, clear the air, and restore balance when boundaries are crossed. It also requires trust, emotional vulnerability, and open communication. Some people even describe it as cathartic, a way to release guilt or tension and move forward as a couple.

Does anyone here practice domestic discipline or have thoughts on it? Do you see spanking as outdated, or does it still hold value in fostering intimacy, accountability, and growth in a relationship? I’d love to hear your perspectives, whether you’re for or against it. Is this lifestyle still relevant, or is it truly a lost art?

[Am****]

You’ve definitely gotten me to give this hard consideration to see if it’s fun to practice at home.

[UK****]

I am a firm believer in the principle of DD.  Yes, it has taken a back seat (no pun intended) in recent times but I believe the principles have a lot to do with D/s and still have a role.

What I feel is important is that both sides see the need for DD in their relationship.

All D/s needs there to be a ying/yang, same applies to DD.

The back seat probably goes back to the changing expectations of the male role in modern relationships.

[Am****]

  21 minutes ago, UK_Knight said:

I am a firm believer in the principle of DD.  Yes, it has taken a back seat (no pun intended) in recent times but I believe the principles have a lot to do with D/s and still have a role.

What I feel is important is that both sides see the need for DD in their relationship.

All D/s needs there to be a ying/yang, same applies to DD.

The back seat probably goes back to the changing expectations of the male role in modern relationships.

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I been playing with switch dynamics in my head since this post because me and the wife switch up back and forth. Lots of cool possibilities running through the brain

[Ba****]

Is sounding a concept that belongs in relationships? Is polyamory the future of modern relationships?

You’re asking a question about a practice that will work for some and not others. It’s an opinion and taste thing.

[Deleted Member]

I've practiced it in the past in some of my relationships and depending on the dynamic I believe in routine maintenance spankings.

[ge****]

There are many relationships that encompass D/s as a central part of them, where DD in some shape or form takes a role - for some it may be a 24/7 thing, for others it may be occasional, for others still something else.
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It's a very individual thing and as @BackRubsNBruisessuggests will work for some but not for others.

[ey****]

When someone says something is lost, or a thing of the past - there's a lot of immediate thoughts I have

for example

- was it ever that popular? or did it just seem it?

- Is it actually less popular? Or are we now exposed to more other ideas than we would have?

- Is it something which is dying out because it actually didn't work for a lot of people, but may have been something attempted when there was limited understanding of other ideas

There are people I know who practice it. Or, well, claim to.

the kinda problem with DD is that it is very difficult to actually get right.  So if we have someone spanking or using any other form of discipline on someone and they are not 100% sure that it is consensual, we have a problem.   Equally, for the person on the receiving end there has to be an "out" and that might be a sit down the next day, "Hey, I don't want to do this any more" and then what.  When one partner has built a relationship on being able to "relieve tension" on a consensual partner, what happens when consent is revoked? 

There is then the added thing, maybe there's been one too many news stories - but DD isn't legal, you cannot consent to it from a position of law.  If a partner goes to the police with marks, then "it was BDSM, they agreed to it" would not hold up in a court since there is always a right to revoke consent - and maybe that has more people hesitant to get involved.   

See the whole "100% sure" above.