Big difference in male and female subs

[Bottombunnyboi]

The only reward I need is... Well not cash 😜🤤

[Rainydaye88]

I think my last message got removed, but the general summary is based on my opinions
I prefer talking to female subs over male subs. While I know it's not an "all men" issue, men don't seem to handle no or just being human very well and if they don't get what they want they think they can throw finances in to leverage their situation from a no to a yes.
This isn't even just a sub issue. It's a man issue. For the better part of a year, I've been thinking of changing all my preferences to not include men because of this behavior, but I still hold out that it can't be all men, right? Then some d-bag shows up in my inbox. In the bitterness, I'm starting to see why fin-doms are m0n3y first with male subs.

[FETMOD-BD]

12 minutes ago, Rainydaye88 said:

I think my last message got removed, but the general summary is based on my opinions

 

No, it was just awaiting approval

[Rainydaye88]

1 minute ago, FETMOD-BD said:

No, it was just awaiting approval

Thank you! Apologies for duplicate then.

[FETMOD-BD]

1 minute ago, Rainydaye88 said:

Thank you! Apologies for duplicate then.

No probs

[wy****]

37 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I wonder what that stems from if we look at the bigger picture...🤔

No I am not a sub. I mean in dom meetings/group munch

[Ch****]

1 hour ago, Rainydaye88 said:

I think my last message got removed, but the general summary is based on my opinions
I prefer talking to female subs over male subs. While I know it's not an "all men" issue, men don't seem to handle no or just being human very well and if they don't get what they want they think they can throw finances in to leverage their situation from a no to a yes.
This isn't even just a sub issue. It's a man issue. For the better part of a year, I've been thinking of changing all my preferences to not include men because of this behavior, but I still hold out that it can't be all men, right? Then some d-bag shows up in my inbox. In the bitterness, I'm starting to see why fin-doms are m0n3y first with male subs.

There are many type of man out there, we aren’t all the same..
While some of us has more success in life, in dealing with our own emotions( yes we do have emotion too), in dating, and in general there are other who have less success in general and lack in social skills too..

Perhaps you found some bitterness and d.bags same as well we may find lot of rejection, *** scams lack of empathy and the emptiness of being constantly ignored..

Maybe we deal worse than you with “no” because we receive so many rejection and “no” in a way more considerable that you do?
It’s a possibility.. Consider that man is still the gender who tend to initiate first..
How would you take 100 “no” in a row, not knowing if you could ever get laid, talked to, touched?

[La****]

6 hours ago, DD0001 said:

Sometimes the answer lies in the way guys market or handle themselves (not just in D/s but generally). I have found that a lot of males don't want to put in the work and they tend to go down the easiest path to get women (Doms or otherwise), either by offering *** or gravitating towards the FinDommes as they offer easier opportunities. I personally have advised my female friends to go down that path too to take advantage of male desperation. If there is a market for it, why not?

If there are less desperate men around, there won't be a market for it and Dommes will gravitate less towards the FinDomme aspect of D/s.

Why are there less women subs being charged? Because most of the Doms out there just want to get laid and will not charge as that will lessen their opportunity to get laid.

If I was a male sub, I would market myself differently and to a different target audience. It might be more work, but it will be less about the financial side of things.

To be fair, there are also a lot of male 'Doms' who pay for a female sub. Same reasoning. If you don't want to pay, market yourself differently. I have no issues meeting with female subs without financial stimulus and that is because I offer something different, I know my market and specifically avoid the "wrong" market (by wrong, I mean any subs whose interests don't align with mine). I don't shotgun my approach to everyone like a lot of guys do.

Know your fetish, write your profile to reflect your interests and approach only those whose interests match yours. You will have a much better success rate and attract less of those who are only interested in financial gain.

Preach. I agree.

[Th****]

I feel you and i hate this when thats what they want they need to identify as a FinDom not just plain ol dom so we know if we want to get involved or not

[Th****]

In my experience male subs are way more pushy than female subs. If a female sub ever came at a dominant with a list of things they want done as their first message; they would get called a bad sub right away. But male subs do that all of the time,  at least in my experience.

 

Male subs seem to not want to be an actual submissive and are more of a bottom. There is nothing submissive about them all. They just want someone to fulfill their fantasies. I wish that they would learn that no female dominant would want that unless they are getting paid for it.

[do****]

Howdy folks. Interesting discussion. Let me add some Trouble to the mix 😂. The old mighty dollar. Is it a woman's thing? Is it a man's thing? Is it an any other self identifying human being thing? No, it's a capitalist thing. Food for thought. Where would we be without the existence of ***? Where were we before the existence of ***? I can recall a time in my heyday, where no matter how you self identified, you could get your sexual gratification met with either communication and/or being able to provide food, clothing, or shelter. (FYI, I still get my needs met by doing the basics). Then the great divide. Battle of the sexes, fight for power/control, and an instrument that can provide that, ***. Now here we are, trillions of years later far removed from the basics in 2024 discussing how this instrument of destruction complicates our community, way of life, and freedom of expression. Smh, these are dangerous times. All I can say folks is play safe. If it floats your boat, I'll help you create the wind. No judgment zone. Know what you like and will accept and hold your ground. We can only play the cards we are dealt. Nobody hand but our own. Play your hand wisely. It's a jungle out here and predators don't play by the rules of engagement.

[Su****]

54 minutes ago, TheMacabreBrat said:

In my experience male subs are way more pushy than female subs. If a female sub ever came at a dominant with a list of things they want done as their first message; they would get called a bad sub right away. But male subs do that all of the time,  at least in my experience.

 

Male subs seem to not want to be an actual submissive and are more of a bottom. There is nothing submissive about them all. They just want someone to fulfill their fantasies. I wish that they would learn that no female dominant would want that unless they are getting paid for it.

Completely understand your point 100% however there are a few genuine subs like myself out there who really are submissive but can’t get close to even chatting without paying some form of tribute. It’s a huge shame. We all have fantasies but some are willing to put in the effort as a sub

[Rainydaye88]

1 hour ago, Charlie218 said:

There are many type of man out there, we aren’t all the same..
While some of us has more success in life, in dealing with our own emotions( yes we do have emotion too), in dating, and in general there are other who have less success in general and lack in social skills too..

Perhaps you found some bitterness and d.bags same as well we may find lot of rejection, *** scams lack of empathy and the emptiness of being constantly ignored..

Maybe we deal worse than you with “no” because we receive so many rejection and “no” in a way more considerable that you do?
It’s a possibility.. Consider that man is still the gender who tend to initiate first..
How would you take 100 “no” in a row, not knowing if you could ever get laid, talked to, touched?

I blatantly say it's not an all men issue and you're still saying to me it's not all men... I'm speaking from personal experience to answer ops question. I don't think you realize this is kind of proving my point that talking to men can feel like a burden so I understand why some women just ask for *** up front.

[Th****]

20 minutes ago, Subsplore said:

Completely understand your point 100% however there are a few genuine subs like myself out there who really are submissive but can’t get close to even chatting without paying some form of tribute. It’s a huge shame. We all have fantasies but some are willing to put in the effort as a sub

The thing is that a sub fantasies don't even come into play if the dominant isn't even into to them. No sub should send their list of fantasies as their first message. It makes us female dominants feel like we are only here to cater to male subs; which is not how this works at all. A dominant's (even female dominants) needs come first. Sub's needs are at the wim of their dominant.

[Ch****]

1 hour ago, TheMacabreBrat said:

In my experience male subs are way more pushy than female subs. If a female sub ever came at a dominant with a list of things they want done as their first message; they would get called a bad sub right away. But male subs do that all of the time,  at least in my experience.

 

Male subs seem to not want to be an actual submissive and are more of a bottom. There is nothing submissive about them all. They just want someone to fulfill their fantasies. I wish that they would learn that no female dominant would want that unless they are getting paid for it.

Be called bad sub doesn’t mean that they would be charged or discarded for their fantasies..
Or Is there a distinction between chargeable fantasies or non chargeable fantasies?

As long as I know people should discuss about it before understanding if there is a match or not..
Now for sure there are people that are pushy and just want to fulfill their fantasies without caring of the others but here as I understand we are talking about being asked for *** at first contact right away, it happened to me multiple times either..

As a sub for example I use to express my preferences, fantasies and limits and I share my preferences talking with the domme.

[lonleyksboy67]

2 hours ago, doubletrouble129 said:

Howdy folks. Interesting discussion. Let me add some Trouble to the mix 😂. The old mighty dollar. Is it a woman's thing? Is it a man's thing? Is it an any other self identifying human being thing? No, it's a capitalist thing. Food for thought. Where would we be without the existence of ***? Where were we before the existence of ***? I can recall a time in my heyday, where no matter how you self identified, you could get your sexual gratification met with either communication and/or being able to provide food, clothing, or shelter. (FYI, I still get my needs met by doing the basics). Then the great divide. Battle of the sexes, fight for power/control, and an instrument that can provide that, ***. Now here we are, trillions of years later far removed from the basics in 2024 discussing how this instrument of destruction complicates our community, way of life, and freedom of expression. Smh, these are dangerous times. All I can say folks is play safe. If it floats your boat, I'll help you create the wind. No judgment zone. Know what you like and will accept and hold your ground. We can only play the cards we are dealt. Nobody hand but our own. Play your hand wisely. It's a jungle out here and predators don't play by the rules of engagement.

That my dude was very well said. Your unique insight on that topic was informative, educational and worded in a way that was easy to comprehend and also made it a joy to read. Much props and it's nice to see a level headed well spoken person these days if you get what I mean?

[lonleyksboy67]

2 hours ago, Subsplore said:

Completely understand your point 100% however there are a few genuine subs like myself out there who really are submissive but can’t get close to even chatting without paying some form of tribute. It’s a huge shame. We all have fantasies but some are willing to put in the effort as a sub

I just had that happen to me not even 30 minutes ago. We had been taking for a while and we exchanged numbers. She was understanding and accepted the fact that I'm kinda new to a lot of the stuff that this kink life has to offer. And then just as fast as it began it came to a screeching stop. The subject, is of *** was never discussed to begin with and if it was I'd hit my brakes quickly. Why can't people just be honest. I don't understand why everyone wants to play these BS mind games nowadays. If I say something I 100% mean every word whether it's something nice or mean you can guarantee that Im speaking the absolute truth. My grandpa taught me when I was a kid that your word is the most important thing that is never to be half-assed. A person that is as dishonest and hypocritical as the girl I was just talking to is a sad sad person. My word is my bond and as far as I'm concerned a handshake is still a fully binding contract.

[ge****]

2 hours ago, Subsplore said:

Completely understand your point 100% however there are a few genuine subs like myself out there who really are submissive but can’t get close to even chatting without paying some form of tribute. It’s a huge shame. We all have fantasies but some are willing to put in the effort as a sub

So if you're finding all you're getting is approaches from those seeking tributes - change the way you play the game - move away from on-line sites like this, and get along to Munches, kink events etc - where you're unlikely to be asked for payment.
.
If on-line is your only outlet, then give up on sending messages cold and look at other ways to spark iinteraction - get involved in on-line forums, here or FL, it's a great way to not only show that you stand out and are "genuine" but also to interact with others and spark things from there.
.
I've been doing the on-line thing for years and it's probably one of the most fruitless ways of going about it - since I started attending munches about a year ago, my "kink" friendship circle has grown enormously, and from that I've attended many kink clubs/events where I've had the chance to meet and get to know the kind of person I hope to meet.

[Pe****]

In my opinion/experience, there are a lot of male subs that are subjected to scams for cash. Also in my experience it’s because most, not all, male subs are just so thirsty that they part with their cash for a quick orgasm..
..
..
The problem I face with most male subs is that they are really selfish and are just out for what a Domme can do for them. Constantly on about what they want done to them, how they want to be treated, how much *** they want, how much *** they want. No consideration whatsoever of what they can offer the Domme or how they are willing to surrender their own wants and needs for the good of the Domme. Just so self serving. So, as @gemini_man says, we all face different problems all the same.

[Pe****]

10 hours ago, MrV_MsC said:

Because dominant females are much more rare than desperate submissive men who are willing to pay $$?

Absolutely.

[Pe****]

9 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Is it, though? Or is it more a matter of some male subs taking an approach that brings them to the attention of either scammers or Findoms?

Yep. Totally agree, copper.

[Pe****]

9 hours ago, Sexyhexy34 said:

I don't think it's about being sub... in every category men are treated differently, dating sites charge men more, make them pay more, as a female I've joined kinky sites and been given free gold membership just because I was a real female using the site whereas men were charge 30pm... men are treated like shit in anything sexual online.... look at the onlyfans culture...... I think women need to stop exploiting men, even in everyday life, it seems to stem from this fake version of feminism and getting their own back

I agree with you somewhat but not all women have the feminist mindset. As a Domme myself I totally respect men. I love men. We need men as a society. Any woman that says she doesn’t need a man is delusional.
Unless she calls specifically women when she needs a mechanic, an electrician, a gardener, a plumber….. I could go on and on.

[Pe****]

9 hours ago, cockneycharmer said:

I've never met nor seen one on line that hasn't been either a gold digger or scammer 😆 though it is quite funny to lead them on and see how long It takes them to ask for *** then fuck with their head till they realise they ain't going to get nothing it's very amusing 🤣 but I've met some offline and it's not like that at all they are a lot more professional and take it alot more seriously and don't just want your ***

I have to disagree. You spoke to me on here in a private message and I let you down gracefully. So you have seen a genuine Domme online.

[Sm****]

Honestly I think it's just that a lot of people see findom and being a "dominate woman" is an easy way to scam horny submissive men. I don't think it's really like what you describe but apps like these give that perception.

Same with the amount of people looking for a sugar daddy

[na****]

If *** is the only motivating factor for a woman to mess with me, I'm instantly turned off. It's why I don't go to strip clubs, sex workers... etc. There needs to be an understanding that sex is a selfless thing, yet it becomes so unbelievably selfish with people who only care about ***. I'm sick n tired of it honestly.