Communication is key

[Deleted Member]

Was going to delay in writing this, but rather do it now than later.

At what point should a vanilla matter be brought to into play with the other person you are getting on with? Before, during or when it is too late 

For me, it was too late. Brunt of the story is, getting on well, talk of this that and the other and maybe a meet. Anyway, to cut a long story short, within space of a week, he was tried and convicted of *** and some other stuff and he is now on sex offenders list. I wont give exacts details of the matter, but all I can say is, he has deleted his profile and all contact between us both has now ceased. 

My lesson today, I am thankful for small mercies, part of a message I have received about this, is that I have dodged a bullet. 

[Ar****]

Communication is indeed key, always. 

 

I would suggest it is strongly dependent upon the vanilla matter in question. However, in this particular instance I'd say it emphasises that which has been mentioned here a few times of late, and that is with any new partner it is imperative you get to know them before you begin play if you want to protect yourself from such potential bullets. You had a lucky escape in this instance, whereas many others have not.

 

I'm relieved that you dodged this one before anything serious happened to you; in terms of what I think you're asking, the default really needs to be "before".

[Vandalslut]

My word, you have been fortunate. Thanks for sharing your story - it really underlines that need for caution, caution and more caution.

[Deleted Member]

  41 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Communication is indeed key, always. 

 

I would suggest it is strongly dependent upon the vanilla matter in question. However, in this particular instance I'd say it emphasises that which has been mentioned here a few times of late, and that is with any new partner it is imperative you get to know them before you begin play if you want to protect yourself from such potential bullets. You had a lucky escape in this instance, whereas many others have not.

 

I'm relieved that you dodged this one before anything serious happened to you; in terms of what I think you're asking, the default really needs to be "before".

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Yes, it depends on the vanilla matter in question. In this instance, should of been at the very beginning.

  32 minutes ago, Vandalslut said:

My word, you have been fortunate. Thanks for sharing your story - it really underlines that need for caution, caution and more caution.

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Most welcome for me sharing this and very much so for people being cautious. 

[Deleted Member]

This world sadly attracts those who lack"character"much the same as vanilla sites the main difference though is those who lack said "character" in this world can be much more of a threat than in general vanilla.This does and can include women I'm afraid just maybe in different ways.With men it's more of a physical threat and as for me with women the threat is more emotional.The problem with all interaction especially online is it's so easy to wear a mask and represent yourself in a completely different way to what you actually are.To lie,deceive and generally be something you are not.Yes I'm a deviant but an honest one and a caring one,it's the predators we must identify and avoid like the plague,those who only.look inwards with no thought for others.It seems you have indeed dodged a bullet and I'm thankful for that,like me it's all a learning curve and I'm sure you have learned.Caution is the keyword and never rush into anything without non emotional clear thought first.Yes I also have been taught a lesson so I do relate just as I say in a different way.Im glad you got out while you still could and again "caution"always.

[Ma****]

  11 hours ago, petitecupcake69 said:

Was going to delay in writing this, but rather do it now than later.

At what point should a vanilla matter be brought to into play with the other person you are getting on with? Before, during or when it is too late 

For me, it was too late. Brunt of the story is, getting on well, talk of this that and the other and maybe a meet. Anyway, to cut a long story short, within space of a week, he was tried and convicted of *** and some other stuff and he is now on sex offenders list. I wont give exacts details of the matter, but all I can say is, he has deleted his profile and all contact between us both has now ceased. 

My lesson today, I am thankful for small mercies, part of a message I have received about this, is that I have dodged a bullet. 

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well done for sharing,

[Deleted Member]

Very sad indeed! Those bastard get more and more in site like this and tarnish our world of fantasy. 
i hope you can trust someone again to enjoy safely your kink. 

[Deleted Member]

And that's the problem the "Bastards"can put someone off this world for life.Easily make some poor lost soul who just needs a little guidance to become what they are meant to be believe we are all the same.

[Deleted Member]

@wilkie Thank you, had to be done. Helps someone else along the way, to keep an open mind, more so at the beginning and do away with the rose tinted glasses, my school day will become someone else's thought of the day.

@FabSeverus They wont tarnish this world for me and yes, trust will come once again and I will enjoy my time here. Just need to get rid of this cloud and I will be fine.

@Donnykinkster  Can never understand why people have to wear masks, doesn't do them one bit of good. Just a case of uncovering the predators and shutting the door on them.

Am still here, recent events wont put me off and thank you for the replies, means a lot x