Brat dynamics - acknowledging when they are right

[Ka****]

  1 hour ago, Valkyrja said:

Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes its just fun to discipline 🤷🏻‍♀️

Its been awhile since I was with a brat so I dont remember the specifics but I think it had to do with backtalk or something idk this was many years ago but yeah basically she ended up explaining the thing and was right and I acknowledged that and told her I was going to discipline her anyway. She was very masochistic and the terms of our dynamic were that I could punish at any time for any or no reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just was in a spanking mood

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Ah , ok! 😊

[CopperKnob]

  1 hour ago, Valkyrja said:

Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes its just fun to discipline 🤷🏻‍♀️

Its been awhile since I was with a brat so I dont remember the specifics but I think it had to do with backtalk or something idk this was many years ago but yeah basically she ended up explaining the thing and was right and I acknowledged that and told her I was going to discipline her anyway. She was very masochistic and the terms of our dynamic were that I could punish at any time for any or no reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just was in a spanking mood

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Then perhaps, for clarity and context for the sake of those reading the forums, the "punishment" was perhaps for how they presented the info/behaved after the fact as opposed to being "right" about something or being able to "punish" them at your will.

[Leisa]

Why would telling a brat they’re right be wrong? You should acknowledge when someone is right. Being a brat is about so much more than seeking punishment. Brats who aren’t masochists aren’t brats because they want to be punished. They’re brats because they want your attention. If you’ve interacted with a brat or have been in a dynamic with one you’d notice that the less attention you pay, the more attention seeking the behaviors become. As someone who knows she’s a brat, if given adequate attention my actions are less. It’s only when I’m feeling ignored or unimportant that my instincts kick in. Even then I’m a fun brat. I have never and will never be a brat in a way that’s not made to make my Dom laugh.

[Ka****]

  21 minutes ago, Leisa said:

Why would telling a brat they’re right be wrong? You should acknowledge when someone is right. Being a brat is about so much more than seeking punishment. Brats who aren’t masochists aren’t brats because they want to be punished. They’re brats because they want your attention. If you’ve interacted with a brat or have been in a dynamic with one you’d notice that the less attention you pay, the more attention seeking the behaviors become. As someone who knows she’s a brat, if given adequate attention my actions are less. It’s only when I’m feeling ignored or unimportant that my instincts kick in. Even then I’m a fun brat. I have never and will never be a brat in a way that’s not made to make my Dom laugh.

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This!!! Yes!

[Ch****]

I am a beat always have I know that some times I am right but always add something smart ass so my master/owner can discipline me

[pr****]

Not acknowledging when your brat is right or lying about it could break the trust needed between the two of you. If I can't trust you tell me when I’m right then I’ll never trust you to correct my behavior when I’m wrong. Then it feels arbitrary and what's the point? I think anyone who doesn't want you to acknowledge when they're right isn't looking for a brat-tamer but probably looking for another brat.

[Ch****]

Ever think that some of us want to be disciplined

[Ar****]

  6 hours ago, Chicagogurl said:

Ever think that some of us want to be disciplined

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Is this a reply to the OP or one of the comments?

[bo****]

Ive encountered some situations with brats where I couldnt manage the line between taking advantage of her and being too soft. As in, by caring and trying to determine clear boundaries I became a turn off. On the other hand, from the begining the comunication wasnt that clear also, somehow it should be made clear quite early about how to handle it, is it sort of On gimmick off gimmick thing or its always on.

[Deleted Member]

I am a bratty bitch and I like to be questioned and have my way but love when I am challenged and made to submitt

[Sl****]

Brats want to be right, they want their way, it gives them satisfaction but they love being made to accept they aren't right and that their Dom knows how to put them in their place. It's not about being right it's about being made to submit, it's about the game.

[Wi****]

Personally, I would never let the brat know either way.
Part of the whole dynamic between brat and Dom is the desire of the Dom to punish the brat for wrong doing. And the desire to be punished by the Dom.

The question then remains, who is actually in charge?

If the brat can initiate punishment by simply being disobedient , isn't the brat simply manipulating the Dom into granting the punishment desired?

By punishing the brat unexpectedly and without warning the brat loses power over when punishment is granted.

As a Dominant I have withheld punishment for days. Deciding what the most fitting punishment would be.
During that time the sub tends to get antsy. A form of *** in it's self.

What ever I decided ,it was not decided by the brat when, where , how or if punishment would come.

[CopperKnob]

  17 minutes ago, Windwolf said:

Personally, I would never let the brat know either way.
Part of the whole dynamic between brat and Dom is the desire of the Dom to punish the brat for wrong doing. And the desire to be punished by the Dom.

The question then remains, who is actually in charge?

If the brat can initiate punishment by simply being disobedient , isn't the brat simply manipulating the Dom into granting the punishment desired?

By punishing the brat unexpectedly and without warning the brat loses power over when punishment is granted.

As a Dominant I have withheld punishment for days. Deciding what the most fitting punishment would be.
During that time the sub tends to get antsy. A form of *** in it's self.

What ever I decided ,it was not decided by the brat when, where , how or if punishment would come.

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Not all brats are looking for punishment. There are a while host of reasons as to why they 'brat'

[Wi****]

Why are kids bratty.
Many reasons. I know I am father to five,grandfather to 19 and great grandfather to one.

Brats are b Brats.
One would think that all brats would know that being bratty would have consequences. Real life consequences.

I could understand if it was just a bedroom game. But as a 24/7 lifestyle choice. There's going to be consequences.

[Th****]

  On 1/15/2025 at 6:00 PM, Kajira951 said:

I am curious. If the brat is right, what would be the reason to still punish?

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For "funishment" of course 😄

[Th****]

This should be part of the negotiations up front, how they like things to be handled in any particular instance and what the Dom's personal style is. Not all brats want to be "tamed" and not all Doms want to tame a brat, some of us are brat "handlers" or even encouragers  😉

I''d like to hear more context about the actual conversation @Aranhis that led them to say that. If they actually mean *never* then I'd likely believe they have some emotional health stuff they should  probably work on. 

No Dom should assume to know "what a brat wants" unless they've explicitly told you as such because they're all individuals so will have individual wants and needs. There are Doms who label anything they don't like as being "bratty" and their are "brats" who are actually just being jerks. Personally, while i love a good brat, I also have zero desire to *** submission from anyone. They either want to be in a dynamic with me or they don't and they can demonstrate that in their behavior. 

[Ar****]

  1 hour ago, Windwolf said:

Personally, I would never let the brat know either way.
Part of the whole dynamic between brat and Dom is the desire of the Dom to punish the brat for wrong doing. And the desire to be punished by the Dom.

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I appreciate and respect the input, can't say I agree with this though as I find it a bit of a catch-all/sweeping statement. 

When I'm in a dynamic with a brat, I don't have any desire to punish them. I don't have any desire to punish anyone. I'm also aware of many other fruitful and lasting brat-Dom relationships which are not based on punishment. 

 

  1 hour ago, Windwolf said:

If the brat can initiate punishment by simply being disobedient, isn't the brat simply manipulating the Dom into granting the punishment desired?

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I very much agree with this point, I feel that many "Brat Tamer" Doms are not in control of their dynamic and simply service their sub's needs while they are manipulated. The brats generally know it too. That's why you have to be like steel and know one hundred per cent that you have the stronger will. Not be a tamer, but be a "handler".

[Th****]

  1 hour ago, Windwolf said:

Why are kids bratty.
Many reasons. I know I am father to five,grandfather to 19 and great grandfather to one.

Brats are b Brats.
One would think that all brats would know that being bratty would have consequences. Real life consequences.

I could understand if it was just a bedroom game. But as a 24/7 lifestyle choice. There's going to be consequences.
 

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Kids aren't bratty. Having *** doesn't mean you suddenly gain knowledge on child development any more than having a pet makes you an *** behavior expert. 

 

[Th****]

  29 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

I appreciate and respect the input, can't say I agree with this though as I find it a bit of a catch-all/sweeping statement. 

When I'm in a dynamic with a brat, I don't have any desire to punish them. I don't have any desire to punish anyone. I'm also aware of many other fruitful and lasting brat-Dom relationships which are not based on punishment. 

 

I very much agree with this point, I feel that many "Brat Tamer" Doms are not in control of their dynamic and simply service their sub's needs while they are manipulated. The brats generally know it too. That's why you have to be like steel and know one hundred per cent that you have the stronger will. Not be a tamer, but be a "handler".

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Alternately, punishment should actually end or really discourage a behavior if it's going to actually be punishment. Though I tend to be in the same camp as you as far as not wanting punishment to be necessary... going back to if they want to be in the dynamic or relationship with me they'll show me this through their actions and behavior... if and when I do use punishment it's something dreadfully tedious and boring and not at all anything they would actually want. I'm prone to thinking anyone who wants to "tame" a brat should probably not get involved with one. 

[Wi****]

  27 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Kids aren't bratty. Having *** doesn't mean you suddenly gain knowledge on child development any more than having a pet makes you an *** behavior expert. 

 

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True but raising those *** to adulthood gives you an advanced knowledge based on actual experience rather than a projected theory.
Same with pets or other ***s.

My handling of Wolves for over 30 years makes me an expert on Canids

It's the same with everything in life. Experience is the only true teacher.
College didn't really teach me knowledge. It only taught me how to obtain and process knowledge.

Life is funny like that I guess. My people didn't have College. Everything was handed down by oral tradition.

In as much this community is like that but not as much so as it used to be.


We have theories,ideas and beliefs about things but without experience those things are just theories.

While we have different experiences, somewhere in there are the threads that bind us together.

[Th****]

  10 minutes ago, Windwolf said:

True but raising those *** to adulthood gives you an advanced knowledge based on actual experience rather than a projected theory.
Same with pets or other ***s.

My handling of Wolves for over 30 years makes me an expert on Canids

It's the same with everything in life. Experience is the only true teacher.
College didn't really teach me knowledge. It only taught me how to obtain and process knowledge.

Life is funny like that I guess. My people didn't have College. Everything was handed down by oral tradition.

In as much this community is like that but not as much so as it used to be.


We have theories,ideas and beliefs about things but without experience those things are just theories.

While we have different experiences, somewhere in there are the threads that bind us together.

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Quantity of experience does not equate to quality experience nor does it equate to accurate knowledge. 

[Wi****]

  59 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Quantity of experience does not equate to quality experience nor does it equate to accurate knowledge. 

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Maybe not, but it beats the hell out of no experience. And that is thst.

[CopperKnob]

  6 hours ago, Windwolf said:

True but raising those *** to adulthood gives you an advanced knowledge based on actual experience rather than a projected theory.
Same with pets or other ***s.

My handling of Wolves for over 30 years makes me an expert on Canids

It's the same with everything in life. Experience is the only true teacher.
College didn't really teach me knowledge. It only taught me how to obtain and process knowledge.

Life is funny like that I guess. My people didn't have College. Everything was handed down by oral tradition.

In as much this community is like that but not as much so as it used to be.


We have theories,ideas and beliefs about things but without experience those things are just theories.

While we have different experiences, somewhere in there are the threads that bind us together.

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Lets not gtlet ahead of ourselves, working with wolves for 30 years gives you advanced first-hand knowledge on wolves, not dholes or fennec foxes, for example, and therefore not 'canids' as a whole which includes numerous species.
.
Likewise, raising *** provides you with advanced insight into your ***, not *** as a whole, and, unless you've studied child development/what impacts it, you aren't an expert in them.
.
Getting back to the point at hand. Let's not conflate ch1ldren with brats, to do so is to infantalise adults, and we generally do that when we want to demonstrate that we've the upper hand over someone or we're 'better' than them.
.
The OP asks whether a Dom should ever let on that a brat is correct. IMO, yes, they should for all the reasons above. Might it feed in to the bratty behaviour? Possibly, but in a Dom/brat relationship, the Dom should be aware of this depending on how the brat brats.
Not to do so is verging on narcissistic behaviours.
.
Equally, the punishment of a brat isn't always necessary. An ethical brat knows when to stop. Not all brats need/want to be punished and, if they're continually given a punishment which discourages that behaviour, the behaviour is likely to cease and in doing so, the specifics of the relationship changes. Therefore a punishment is never really a punishment.
.
There's a really danger to label's having specific definitions according to one person or people suggesting, 'this is how it was 100yrs ago.' That may be the case, but individuals evolve just as society does, and things take on new meaning.

[Wi****]

  16 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Lets not gtlet ahead of ourselves, working with wolves for 30 years gives you advanced first-hand knowledge on wolves, not dholes or fennec foxes, for example, and therefore not 'canids' as a whole which includes numerous species.
.
Likewise, raising *** provides you with advanced insight into your ***, not *** as a whole, and, unless you've studied child development/what impacts it, you aren't an expert in them.
.
Getting back to the point at hand. Let's not conflate ch1ldren with brats, to do so is to infantalise adults, and we generally do that when we want to demonstrate that we've the upper hand over someone or we're 'better' than them.
.
The OP asks whether a Dom should ever let on that a brat is correct. IMO, yes, they should for all the reasons above. Might it feed in to the bratty behaviour? Possibly, but in a Dom/brat relationship, the Dom should be aware of this depending on how the brat brats.
Not to do so is verging on narcissistic behaviours.
.
Equally, the punishment of a brat isn't always necessary. An ethical brat knows when to stop. Not all brats need/want to be punished and, if they're continually given a punishment which discourages that behaviour, the behaviour is likely to cease and in doing so, the specifics of the relationship changes. Therefore a punishment is never really a punishment.
.
There's a really danger to label's having specific definitions according to one person or people suggesting, 'this is how it was 100yrs ago.' That may be the case, but individuals evolve just as society does, and things take on new meaning.

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You are correct. Wolves had nothing to do with my knowledge of the dhole. I learned about them during my time in Cambodia and Vietnam along the Ho chi Minh trail.

Sadly then they were at risk of being eaten out of existence.

The vietcong and Khmer Rouge both were suffering from a lack food and other supplies and any *** was subject to become supper.

I don't know a lot about the fennec fox ,but I do know a good bit about the Arctic Blue Fox.
I also have an advanced knowledge of both the Gray Fox and the Red Fox.

The interesting thing is all canids share many traits in common regardless of where they are from.

I'm curious how many *** you have and what your personality experience in raising *** would be.
I have heard all the ideas that you used ,unfortunately, they are as much conjecture as they are science.

I didn't conflate *** with brats. I compared brats to the actions of ***. There is a vast difference.

I agree with that. I wasn't expressing how everyone else should deal with an issue.
Just how I would personally respond.

I keep seeing people putting brat tamer on their interests.
It makes one wonder exactly does it mean to tame a brat?

Is it like being a lion tamer ? Or a wild horse tamer?

Apparently, as applied to "brats" it has somewhat of a different meaning.

[CopperKnob]

  7 hours ago, Windwolf said:

You are correct. Wolves had nothing to do with my knowledge of the dhole. I learned about them during my time in Cambodia and Vietnam along the Ho chi Minh trail.

Sadly then they were at risk of being eaten out of existence.

The vietcong and Khmer Rouge both were suffering from a lack food and other supplies and any *** was subject to become supper.

I don't know a lot about the fennec fox ,but I do know a good bit about the Arctic Blue Fox.
I also have an advanced knowledge of both the Gray Fox and the Red Fox.

The interesting thing is all canids share many traits in common regardless of where they are from.

I'm curious how many *** you have and what your personality experience in raising *** would be.
I have heard all the ideas that you used ,unfortunately, they are as much conjecture as they are science.

I didn't conflate *** with brats. I compared brats to the actions of ***. There is a vast difference.

I agree with that. I wasn't expressing how everyone else should deal with an issue.
Just how I would personally respond.

I keep seeing people putting brat tamer on their interests.
It makes one wonder exactly does it mean to tame a brat?

Is it like being a lion tamer ? Or a wild horse tamer?

Apparently, as applied to "brats" it has somewhat of a different meaning.

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Then maybe, if you're not understanding terms such as brat tamer/handler/enabler, you could take a position of the enquirer