Has anyone made the transition from one role to another?

[BomshellBettie]

I started out as a sub, along my kinky path I'd switched purely by way of reciprocity. That eventually stopped being something I did out of politeness, and instead became something that turned me on during the once in a blue moon that I did it. But I always thought that I could never date a sub leaning switch. I could never in a million years foresee myself ditching my submissive side and fully transitioning into a Dom. At that time, being a Dom wasn't a need. It wasn't an inherent part of my identity. 

 

My last relationship, and a guy I dated briefly after him sent me screaming to Domhood due to a period where I wanted absolutely nothing to do with men, and kink left me cold, because I associated this huge part of myself, with being unsafe. I felt so lost and so confused, because when I was busy getting myself off, I was still getting off on the things I liked as a sub, but the thought of engaging with people to meet in person to get those needs physically met gave me an actual panic attack (for real) However engaging with submissive men was a different story.

 

So here's why I'm grateful that I fell out of love with being a sub. Being a Dom makes me feel empowered. Submissive men speak to me nicer, are more respectful. It feels pretty wonderful someone wanting to meet my needs. I like being the one to give reassurance and reiterate safe words, I like reading people's bodies and slowing down before we reach 'amber'. I like seeing the softer and gentler side of men. I mostly like being privy to a man's vulnerability and being careful with that. I think if any of you can remember a smutty story for sissies I wrote called 'Princess Brian', it's highlighted in it.

 

It's a funny thing this journey. Who I've become as a Dominant is completely different from who I was as a sub, and I appreciate that that's an oxymoron unto itself, but I mean in the respect of dating. I'm far more chilled out when it comes to meeting up with people. I feel less mortally wounded if a date doesn't go right, or it fizzles out with someone I thought I was vibing with. I'm also less needy. I know that a portion of how I'm feeling can be attributed to the fact that I've built some monithic walls adorned with razor wire around my stoney cold heart after last year. I can feel it, but it's thawing, and I know that after a conversation with someone I know in the vanilla world. The last thing which is blowing my mind that shifting into this role has given me is the fact that I'm more open to exploring, do I want a cuck relationship, do I want a monogamous one where we occasionally play with others, throw that in with the fact that i'm pretty certain I'm bi and my mind is blown is a spectacular way.

 

I will say this though...when my sub side does pop up wanting a fix I do have a great Daddy Dom that I sext with (know in person and trust as I've played with them before) that satisfies those needs. I doubt i'll want to revisit playing in that role in person ever again. Not unless some there's trust on an epic scale.

 

Has anyone else transitioned from one role to another totally?

[Declan0212]

I started off as exclusively a dom but only because I'd never been with a woman who wasn't submissive, but more recently I've been liking the idea of being a sub more, I just need to find myself a nice domme.

[kinkymasterandrew]

I started as a sub, but after some negative real experiences, transitioned to a Dom.

[Deleted Member]

BDSM is a journey in which we are always evolving. For me the switch role came when there was a real deep love for each other where gifting all of myself to her and her to me allowed both of us to give the other what they desired in both roles. Your journey is not over and you will continue to evolve and learn more about yourself. Thanks for sharing.

[BomshellBettie]

  8 hours ago, Declan0212 said:

I started off as exclusively a dom but only because I'd never been with a woman who wasn't submissive, but more recently I've been liking the idea of being a sub more, I just need to find myself a nice domme.

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Thanks for your comment

[BomshellBettie]

  7 hours ago, kinkymasterandrew said:

I started as a sub, but after some negative real experiences, transitioned to a Dom.

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Its interesting that our brains do that. That we don't want to ditch kink so we transition to a different role.

[BomshellBettie]

  7 hours ago, kinkymasterandrew said:

I started as a sub, but after some negative real experiences, transitioned to a Dom.

Expand  

It's interesting that our brains do that. Instead of ditching kink we transition to a different role. Thanks for your comment.

[Al****]

I started as a dom, my aura has always allured more bisexual women. Some odd years ago one of them opened my eyes to being the Submissive I am today.

[Th****]

I started out as a submissive because society taught me that women should do what men say. I tried being a submissive for over 10 years but was never happy. My last relationship made me realize that I actually hate being told what to do.

I only recently learned that I'm a Domme. I'm much more happier and confident in my role. It's also much more fun to be a sadist than it is masochist.

People learn and grow. Changing your role does happen. 

Edited January 17 by TheMacabreBrat
Typo

[sw****]

Yes changing is part of finding what really tick your box lol new experience’s in different roles can be surprisingly hot as fuck x

[The_Rev_]

I'm not there yet. I began as a Dom who wanted to understand what subs got out of it. So I learned to Bottom and enjoy it very much. It's restful simply receiving. But now I have a new partner and with her I can become a sub, not merely passive, but actively wanting to please her.

At other times she is my sub and I her Dom.

For me, being a Switch is my ideal identity.

[BomshellBettie]

Thank you all for your comments. It's really interesting reading other people's stories. It's nice hearing someone transition into a switch too. 💖

[lesdevon]

I was dom.but now i crave to.be a sub to a domme powerfull lady. I would be so obediant

[Bo****]

I like switching it up for fun

[Seba-8173]

Sometimes I switch, but it is very important that both partners like it

[Gr****]

I started out identifying as a switch but kept meeting play partners who identified almost exclusively as tops or dominants. I'd heard that in leather culture folks started out bottoming and then could move to topping later, so I didn't really question it. 

.

As I started playing with more bottoms and submissives over the years, I reasserted my switch identity. 

Edited February 13 by Griot