Should a male sub pay for everything?

[Ln****]

What she is practicing is commonly called Findom or financial domination. You are in a different type of relationship than what you anticipated.....RUN!!!

[lo****]

Nah this is not heathy at all drop her

[Ki****]

I had dominants like that it's a red flag

[xx****]

Put your wallet back in your pants, my man. You do not have a Domme nor a relationship. You, good sir, in my opinion, have a parasite you need to get rid of. I truly do understand there are, as there should be, ebbs and flows in a relationship, this is healthy. What you are dealing with is not healthy. Most certainly not, if you are paying and have zero from the expenditure. Might as well hire a taxi from New York city to Buttfuck Kansas, pay him and sit on the curb in the fracken rain while he drives out of your line of site, resets the meter to picks up his next fair. ****Walk away.**** In all honesty, trust what your spidey senses are telling you. You have them for a reason. Believe it when you get that "oh crap" feeling. Those feelings have stood you in good stead all your life, do not doubt them now. I do not know you, but I wish for you, a gentle easing of your ***. Peace, good sir. Peace

[Ro****]

No. She is just using you for a payday. This community is flooded with fake af "dommes" just trying to scam submissive men. Block, report, and move along. These people are so common its baeically killed my desire to interact with 99% of people i dont already know in reap life.

[Th****]

Sounds like most of the female “doms” they are scamming for ***

[Al****]

Thats called Findom, which i think is a type of scam imo. If they don't want you without ***, they don't want you, they just want ***. It's fine to pay for dates and stuff but thats just *** for nothing

[Sarah405]

Bottom line is you are being taken advantage of you and things are supposed to be consensual between both parties, and it does not seem like they are in your case.

I'm a trans woman domme (interested in other transgender/nonbinary/females), this is inappropriate behavior, but these apps tend to get flooded with people performing financial domination. Now, if your into that, fine. I do wonder what kind of toys you had to buy for her. If it was basic stuff like a whip, she should really have that. Ask her some basics she should know (like what a sex menu is, how to perform certain kinks safely) and look into what red flags you can spot to find out what a fake domme is. For the record, I've done a mix of in-person and real life domination for about 10 years, and I've never felt the need to tell a sub to purchase things for me. As others have said, get away from this woman. I understand attachment can be a thing, there's actually some science behind it, but sometimes you need to cut the strings. I've gone on long enough about this.

[no****]

I would not want this in my Dom position. If I have a sub and the sub want it, i decide it for the sub. I would make a contract with rules.

I don't want random pays, things I want order in daily chatting or similar. I would only accept pay things for toys I can use with the sub, if we meet or go to a fetish party and the sub want it so much I would accept pay price for entry sometimes, but not every time.

Care of scamming.

[my****]

The answer to any question like this is, are you comfortable with it? I am offended by the idea of charging a sub for anything. So clearly that lifestyle isn’t for me. Any generosity I share with a sub is on me, and on my terms. Otherwise it comes off as prostitution.

[Do****]

Truthfully, she should already have "toys." If a sub wants me to use something on him, then he needs to buy it, and it is now his. Just because you are going to an event at a dungeon doesn't mean she will only play with you.

Keep us updated on how it goes, or if she pulls out last minute because you won't pay for extra stuff

[SissyPuppers]

I was on a site previous to this and almost 100% of 300 contacts got around to ***, tributes, paying bills, all within the first day of meeting online! As was said and is a main tenet of lifestyle, CONSENT, Truth and Communication must be in place and well founded to create a healthy future. Anyone who off the jump is wanting *** is in it for....well....THE ***!

[Deleted Member]

They are probably scammers. I would never ask someone for *** without first meeting them first before any play date. Even professionals will meet you first and go over the ground rules. Professionals see what you’re interested in doing first and that everything is safe for you and them.
I’ve personally had dominant seeming experiences but all they were after was the *** and that’s when I cut ties with them.
Unless you get what you’re after, you should cut your losses and find someone new.

[Su****]

You're being taken advantage of. There's such a thing as a Findom fetish (which I struggle to differentiate from scams, but if consenting adults want to set their *** on fire, it's their business, not mine), but as with everything Kink, it's based on clear consent. Not the absence of a no, not implied consent, nothing of the sort. Clear, explicit, informed consent. I myself struggle to find Dommes, most around here at least go hard on "Findom". And I've been in a similar situation as you more than once, we arranged the rules, the costs, the limits, the time, everything, then suddenly she starts demanding I pay for her food delivery and this and that. I got the hell out right away, and so should you.

[Al****]

I wouldn’t pay for anything and feel she taking the p@ss out of your trusting nature.

[Co****]

One more point - you should NEVER send *** to someone you have never met. This whole thing may be a straight scam and she never intended to meet- just ask for more and more until you balk and she can back out and keep whatever she could get.

[Na****]

You did the right thing by saying no

[Mi****]

I don’t see why u should be paying for activities that doesn’t include you at all. Sounds like a sugardaddy situation

[du****]

You absolutely were in the right to shut that down. You can't be plunging *** like that when it's not what you want.

[Ho****]

If you never met her then you can't know for sure it is a "her". There's a lot of scammers out there and while they have the brilliance to think of these scams and have the patience and put in the work to get over on a few people, it's always baffled me why they don't put all of that to work on something legitimate and probably make a shit ton of $$.

[ne****]

No, this is just someone using you in a non-kink way. Financially you are not their caregiver, or a free ride for her friends.  

[lm****]

As a dominant, I don’t ever make my submissives pay for EVERYTHING. If they are able to pay, sure, but I also need to show my control over my own life to exert that level of desire too.

It sounds like you were being taken advantage of by a “Dom” rather than a dominant.

[wa****]

Sounds like a scam to me. Been there myself and as soon as I read your message I was thinking scam.

[l1****]

Please be careful! That doesn't sound right at all. In my opinion no one in the relationship should be paying for everything (unless discussed otherwise and both are comfortable with it). If you haven't met them yet then I'm really sorry but I think they just wanted the *** and were infact a**sing thier 'power of being dominant' over you. Either that or they are a scammer. Please don't be made to feel like you have to pay for anything until you yourself feel comfortable with this person and all these things are discussed. Please make sure to meet people before doing anything like that also x

[Deleted Member]

She/ he is playing you for a fool