Munch Etiquette

[Yo****]

I’m attending my first munch tomorrow and my wife is joining me to help settle my anxiety.  What is the general etiquette if you see someone you know from the vanilla world? 

I’d guess not calling them by their name or generally about their vanilla life is a safe bet, until you know if that’s some they share anyway. 

[Jo****]

Happens to me occasionally. Just greet them as you normally would and enjoy the munch. As long as you don't tell people outside the munch, its perfectly normal.

[Vi****]

Introduce yourself as if they don’t know you or read the room and go from there.

[sm****]

The beauty especially about the UK based Munch's that they are all set in a Vanilla venue and normal street attire.  It does help with reading the room if you do bump in to someone you know in the vanilla setting.

The only thing that should stand out is most have a unique item "a-z" or a teddy etc to distinguish the munch attendee's from the vanilla's, usually explained prior by the Munch organisers.

On the other hand, yes it can feel awkward, but the are there also for the exact same reason, they should also realise we were all new once.

 

[ey****]

if you see someone from the vanilla world, then it can feel like a minefield

the first thing to remember is they are ultimately there for the same reason as you, and at least initially - it can be as awkward for them as it for you.

Depending, of course, on who they are and how well you know them - then it's already a potential icebreaker and someone you know you can talk with - obviously, of course, refrain from real names, or info which 'outs' them unless it's obvious they're already open with it in the group. 

[Sm****]

As I'm new here, could someone explain what a munch is? Lol. You don't know what you don't know. 🤷🏻

[sm****]

  1 hour ago, SmokeyJ said:

As I'm new here, could someone explain what a munch is? Lol. You don't know what you don't know. 🤷🏻

Expand  

It's a meeting of likeminded fet people, usually in a vanilla "non fet " environment, like a pub, in normal street clothing.  One of the best ways for new people joining the scene to get to know people, them you and hopefully making friends.  Usually once a month, some have early bird meet and greet for new members so they are not swamped or intimidated by regulars.  Also a bit of an ice breaker, where they will introduce you to some of the regulars.  Also one of the best places to get yourself known and in time trusted.

Bare in min there are no play elements involved, it's akin to a social meeting of friends, you shouldn't t know it was fet related if your looking in.

Edited February 2 by smeagol
added info

[Yo****]

Phew, I wasn’t asked to leave so that suggests it went well. First munch under my belt and only 2 years to pluck up the courage.

I should have done it earlier instead of letting the anxiety build. 

[Sm****]

  4 hours ago, smeagol said:

It's a meeting of likeminded fet people, usually in a vanilla "non fet " environment, like a pub, in normal street clothing.  One of the best ways for new people joining the scene to get to know people, them you and hopefully making friends.  Usually once a month, some have early bird meet and greet for new members so they are not swamped or intimidated by regulars.  Also a bit of an ice breaker, where they will introduce you to some of the regulars.  Also one of the best places to get yourself known and in time trusted.

Bare in min there are no play elements involved, it's akin to a social meeting of friends, you shouldn't t know it was fet related if your looking in.

Expand  

Nice. Thanks for taking the time to explain it to a newbie.