The Perils of Dating Apps

February 3

About Me. Your opportunity to let me know

about you. To present yourself, and represent

yourself. And, apparently, a space to create

a fiction. A you you’d like to me, or, more

Accurately, a you you think I’d like you to be.

It’s trendy to be kinky now. It’s all the rage.

In every app I see a smorgasbord of

“Pleasure Doms”, keen to let me know

how much they love to lick pussy. Or,

there are the ones who lean Dom, like

The Leaning Tower of Pisa. Just enough

To be off kilter. Not enough to earn a place

On the left side of the slash. They like Ds,

they tell me. The love power play. But only

in the bedroom. Only when we’re naked and

They can fuck my mouth or bind my hands

And press my face into the pillow and do me

Doggy style. They like to spank, with hands

and hairbrush. There isn’t a paddle, a crop,

or a flogger in their collection. What about

Outside the bedroom, I ask. What then.

Friends, they tell me. We’ll be friends.

And I sigh. Because it’s always the same.

I’m sorry, but you are not a Dom. You are

A top. You like to lead in the bedroom, but

You don’t want the responsibility that comes

with owning a submissive. With holding

the reins of control over her, when you aren’t

getting your dick sucked. You don’t want that

meld of minds, where I surrender to you.

Where you hold power over me, but also

the responsibility of holding power over me.

February 3

Well said. Like, can ppl at least look up the definition of a word before slapping the label on themselves? There's like 50 times as many "I'm new to this please teach me (bc I'm too lazy to educate myself)" ppl on here as there are experienced ppl with true kinks

February 3

I really like what you wrote.I just haven't been able to figure out how to stick through with a sub

February 3

10 minutes ago, modesto323554 said:

I really like what you wrote.I just haven't been able to figure out how to stick through with a sub
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Can you explain a bit more what you mean?

February 3

Yes, dating sucks. There are always so many standards and labels. Let’s all be people, enjoy each other, and have fun while getting to know people without people ghosting people.

February 3

While I agree with most of what you have written here, my experience is the complete opposite with pillow princesses who claim to be subs, but don't serve, submit or follow basic instructions. I even had a sub who was great about following instructions outside the bedroom, but she would try to direct the action in the bedroom. Then you've got the ever popular and growing group of "straight/monogamous fucktoy/slave" or bi... into men...into women.... but not couples.

February 3

Excellent and poignant once again x

February 3

Perhaps it’s because the “Dom in the bedroom only” character, is incredibly selfish, as they know that they’ll not achieve anything physical for themselves, when outside the bedroom? So the word “Dom”, to such a character, equates to “what physical “fun” I can have with a female who will do everything I want for me, and when I’ve done and had enough, they’ll go away, until the next time that I want “fun””. Which I think means that they’ve no concept of a bdsm lifestyle, nor the potential depth that a sheared dynamic can plummet, nor that it relates to two people working together on a whole realm of experiences, devised together through negotiation, and that the submissive trusts enough to allow the dominant to take on the role of enabler. As well as the “Dom” being identified as a “Top”, in your example, it further shows that there’s a lack of empathy, imagination and a willingness to educate themselves, to the point that they can see and appreciate other people’s points of view, and that they’ve an awareness of the dangers involved in many of the scenes to be explored. Really…that’s hard work, that is! All for an easy life, basically crudely based on “getting their end away” when they want to. After all, it’s their “fun” that matters. And that, reflects complete and utter shallowness.

February 3

I think you are spot on with this.

February 3

8 hours ago, alpha420fet said:

While I agree with most of what you have written here, my experience is the complete opposite with pillow princesses who claim to be subs, but don't serve, submit or follow basic instructions. I even had a sub who was great about following instructions outside the bedroom, but she would try to direct the action in the bedroom. Then you've got the ever popular and growing group of "straight/monogamous fucktoy/slave" or bi... into men...into women.... but not couples.

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I can only speak from what I've seen from my side, I've no doubt it goes both ways.

February 3

48 minutes ago, CumbriaLeather said:

Perhaps it’s because the “Dom in the bedroom only” character, is incredibly selfish, as they know that they’ll not achieve anything physical for themselves, when outside the bedroom? So the word “Dom”, to such a character, equates to “what physical “fun” I can have with a female who will do everything I want for me, and when I’ve done and had enough, they’ll go away, until the next time that I want “fun””. Which I think means that they’ve no concept of a bdsm lifestyle, nor the potential depth that a sheared dynamic can plummet, nor that it relates to two people working together on a whole realm of experiences, devised together through negotiation, and that the submissive trusts enough to allow the dominant to take on the role of enabler. As well as the “Dom” being identified as a “Top”, in your example, it further shows that there’s a lack of empathy, imagination and a willingness to educate themselves, to the point that they can see and appreciate other people’s points of view, and that they’ve an awareness of the dangers involved in many of the scenes to be explored. Really…that’s hard work, that is! All for an easy life, basically crudely based on “getting their end away” when they want to. After all, it’s their “fun” that matters. And that, reflects complete and utter shallowness.
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Darn it. It took your words away. Try again. Yes, I think you are 100% right.

February 4

I think people real don’t know what it means dominate and submissive. I mean this in general I’ve meet many people and you can just tell in the first minute what they’re about. I blame bdsm porn really.