My sexuality, an awkward and confusing thing this is.

[Yo****]

This is hard to type and has taken me several attempts. 

I’ve been on here a couple of years, mainly in the background observing and taking it all in, but joining in when I had the mental strength.

I’ve made some major strides in my understanding my desires and overcoming some personal barriers over those 2 years, but this seem to have accelerated over the last few months or so.

I’ve opened up somewhat to my partner, which wasn’t easy, but had a positive outcome and one aspect that I felt really guarded about is my sexuality. I’m 44 and have been heterosexual throughout all my years, but I think I was always straight out of a sense of shame or ***, but I don’t think I am.

I’m still not 100% where I fit, and maybe I never will be, I’m married, we have been together since I was 18 so my real world experiences are, and will continue to be, limited, but I feel strong enough now to say I’m on the range somewhere. This has been quite a journey for me and I’m trying to find the specific orientation to express it accurately.

This is where my post comes in to play - I need to talk about my specific situation.

I seem to have settled on somewhere around finsexual/gynesexual although these seem to be closely related, finsexual doesn’t appear to be as broadly accepted. Some make the point that these both fit into the umbrella term of pansexual so are more buzzword anyway.

Basically, I’m attracted to femininity, regardless of the physical gender, or gender identity of the individual.

I understand that this is all mental and having a fantasy, or desire, in my mind, or even getting off to porn, may still play out very differently in person, but I’ll probably never know.

 

 

 

[Imurslut]

My life experience is a lot similar to yours. I was with my wife from 18 until 40. I'm a biker and a member of a violent white supremacist prison gang. A tuff guy. But my sexuality is a lot different than my daily life. Also... I'm not racist or violent it's just that in prison here in the UNITED STATES, especially in the location I'm in, it is very violent. White men either become property or join white gangs and fight. If I hadn't been married or would have been older my first time in prison I might have made a different choice

[Barbietime]

Hi , I hope it's ok to comment, but I wanted to ask u , of course u don't have to answer anything u are not comfortable with but also I see you mentioned you were married and have been since you were 18 so are you and whoever you're married to are y'all happy and do they know how you feel?

[Franktherabbit09]

Can you be shy and an exhibitionist??

[Yo****]

  2 hours ago, Barbietime said:

Hi , I hope it's ok to comment, but I wanted to ask u , of course u don't have to answer anything u are not comfortable with but also I see you mentioned you were married and have been since you were 18 so are you and whoever you're married to are y'all happy and do they know how you feel?

Expand  

I didn’t know how I felt for a long time so had no idea how to communicate what was going on, the fact I’m kinky was only discussed in the last 2 years let alone these other feelings I had.

I was unhappy for a long time but didn’t understand why and that was causing problems, I knew it was something in me so ended up here and it all started to make sense.

We had a discussion last month about my feelings and wants, and we are looking in to ways to deal with that together. 

[KaptKinkster]

Well that's wonderful dear, communication is key or THE key rather; to everything. The only shame would be to go to your grave never feeling fulfilled in your own loving relationship.

[Female_diogenes]

Some men, like my cuck, have to be ***d to accept it, which is so hot