Young person anxiety

March 13, 2020

So I've been into my kinks since way before I was of age.
Now that i am of age though i have tried getting into the community.
I always sort of feel really uncomfortable talking with older people (aka over 20 than me) because I seem some sort of disconnect or it may be my anxiety talking.
I've been to a few abdl munches but that's really it. I would love to work myself up to go to an actual club or event that allows play but I always feel like I'm too young for that sorta thing.
Does anyone know a good way to feel comfortable going to events with older people as a really young person in the kink community or have any experience with being 18 and sorta lost and anxious inside the community?
All feedback is appreciated.
Dow

March 13, 2020

It can be daunting talking to folk who are older and/or more experienced than you especially if there's otherwise not a lot in common. Most folk were also new once and can appreciate it, just don't draw attention to being new/inexperienced too much as it talks you down.

Some areas have under 35s munches or "TNG" munches which are aimed at younger folk to help narrow the gap a little bit - not every region has one, but if you see something advertised as TNG it generally means under-35s or under-30s.

Your confidence will grow as you start to talk to people, but do some of your own research between munches both in kink in general AND on some of the people you might meet there - so, "Oh, hey, I saw on your profile you like BLAH - talk to me about BLAH" can be a good icebreaker.

For events and play, having an idea before you go is a good move. Remember nobody owes you play and it's again advisiable to research the type of play you might want to partake in so that if you do end up with a play opportunity you can communicate what you'd like to try and that you've not done it before - and, with knowledge in your mind, you can know if it's not right.

June 18, 2020

This may not make the op feel happy, but being insecure about yourself is a turn off to potential partners. Especially in this sort of lifestyle.

If a person acts and gives the general feel and impression to possible partners that something is right about them, ala "they feel like they shouldn't be doing this", no one will want to play with them.

1. Its a general safety thing, in this lifestyle these days, if you play with someone that's not ready, or truly into it, one MUST expect the outcome of huge public outings of being "the dominant person who doesn't listen to no". On fet its general concept.

2. they don't have to do anything with you. once you get over the idea that others owe you something, its a great experience.