Dommes

[ey****]

I guess a huge red flag is also folk derailing threads to rant on an entirely different topic. 

[FETMOD-TF]

  5 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I guess a huge red flag is also folk derailing threads to rant on an entirely different topic. 

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Agreed, so a friendly reminder to all, please stay on topic otherwise future off topic posts will be removed.  Thank you 

[Goodbicpl]

  4 hours ago, baldwin-park766686 said:

#1 big cock

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That would be my first thoughts on a pre requisite

[ey****]

I think while there's benefits of a big cock in these scenarios (or, at least the belief that someone is bigger/better if that's what you're into) if someone is small, say, 6 inches or less, it's not necessarily a red flag. 

[Rainydaye88]

Putting a pin in this topic for myself.

I'm not actively looking for a bull, but if I was, I do take note of how they talk to women in general. I personally don't mind men who are traditionally masculine, but I do get the ick around "alpha/bro" behavior. If anything, soft service top would be the closest alignment, and I feel like genuinely looking for that is a needle in a haystack.

[Mi****]

  2 hours ago, Rainydaye88 said:

Putting a pin in this topic for myself.

I'm not actively looking for a bull, but if I was, I do take note of how they talk to women in general. I personally don't mind men who are traditionally masculine, but I do get the ick around "alpha/bro" behavior. If anything, soft service top would be the closest alignment, and I feel like genuinely looking for that is a needle in a haystack.

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Everything you just said is spot on for me too!

[Mi****]

  6 hours ago, xxSlayyx said:

Good morning @MistressAman,
I'd say you vet and choose as normal as everyone else. You need to know what you seek, your wishes for a Bull, especially in the Dynamic you want. How he reacts to different Kind of things. As others said, selfishness is a Red Flag, Lack of communication skills, time Management in General, jealousness, etc..
I'd say that Men in General are pushy, not bulls specifically. If you already asked others and got an opinion, think about it, but if it doesnt suit your needs...
I think you need to communicate a lot at the beginning, when you got a good drive and you know about most preferences and wishes, there arent too many chances of mistakes at all and even if something happens, you are able to talk about it, then you dont need to be in constant communication anymore, in my opinion.
In case that you want a Bull for your Sub and for yourself, it will get more intensive and difficult of course. Non native speaker here.

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Thank you so much! I appreciate everything you said!

[Mi****]

  8 hours ago, 0mG0ddess said:

And maybe it’s ego with them too! All good. Happy Valentine’s Day goddess

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I'm not sure why they acted like what I was asking was for them to act the way they did, maybe they misread what i was asking or didnt understand what i was asking, but it is what it is. Thank you very much, Happy Valentines Day!

[Mi****]

  5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I guess a huge red flag is also folk derailing threads to rant on an entirely different topic. 

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That was my thoughts! I reread what I said several times to see if I wasn't clear enough then I gave up because I was thinking/reading only from my perspective and thought I would check today since yesterday was a bad day and they were unintentionally adding to my bad day with their nonsense answers. One even had the audacity to request to see my private gallery. 😒

[Mi****]

  5 hours ago, FETMOD-TF said:

Agreed, so a friendly reminder to all, please stay on topic otherwise future off topic posts will be removed.  Thank you 

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Thank you

[Mi****]

For everyone that gave serious answers and thoughts to my post, I appreciate that very much, thank you!

[Windwolf]

As an old guy that is probably older than pretty much most of the people here, I have seen so much change in the last 40 years that BDSM today is barely recognizable.
It has become the outlet for Fetish porn and Swinger's.
There is little of community respect that there used to be.
Moderators on BDSM sites back then would diligently remove all of that noise.
BDSM seems to be more about *** today than community.
It's no wonder that finding people who are serious is difficult at best.
There are no consistent guidelines for community behavior and pretty much anything goes.
BDSM isn't a party game. It's a way of life. In the bedroom or out, it's always there and it affects the lives of everyone involved.
The noise is driving a lot of people away and that is bad for the community all around.
Today many people who claim to be mentors have never actually been involved in a R/L BDSM relationship.

[su****]

This is almost always a thing that works itself out before it even starts. If it’s a post or profile. You can always tell if someone reads what you wrote… xyz etc and end it with “for consideration”. If you get a hey are you still looking? Or hi. Or just a pic. Obviously they didn’t read past the first sentence and follow the simple instructions. Which is like 90% of the time. So put yourself a couple of gotchas in there, xyz “state what you want” xyz for consideration. Works very well.

[su****]

If they can’t read and follow simple application instructions…

[Th****]

It's absolutely *wild* (yet not at all surprising) that the OP poses a question wanting a very specific group to respond yet the vast majority of people who respond 1) aren't even in the group of people being asked and 2) go on to talk about completely unrelated things waving their own red flags all over the place. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Th****]

  17 hours ago, Rainydaye88 said:

Putting a pin in this topic for myself.

I'm not actively looking for a bull, but if I was, I do take note of how they talk to women in general. I personally don't mind men who are traditionally masculine, but I do get the ick around "alpha/bro" behavior. If anything, soft service top would be the closest alignment, and I feel like genuinely looking for that is a needle in a haystack.

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Agreed, also how they talk *about* other women, not just how they talk to them. I'm also with you on the enjoyment of service tops. 

[Rainydaye88]

  9 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

Agreed, also how they talk *about* other women, not just how they talk to them. I'm also with you on the enjoyment of service tops. 

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Yup. This exactly. Like beyond just looking for a bull, but looking for a person, period. I don't like when people talk to me with only their gratification in mind.