Is my perception wrong?

[ac****]

  2 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

No one has said that

Expand  

You did when you were telling everyone findom is a legitimate kink, actually.

[ac****]

Contrary to Fet policy.

[CopperKnob]

  2 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

Contrary to Fet policy.

Expand  

And yet Fet isn't the authority on what constitutes a kink. Just because it's not allowed here, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Pointing that out, isn't the same as promoting or engaging in it. Comprehension is important.

[ge****]

  11 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

There is no “may” have a plethora of choices. There is. How can you not understand the imbalance? Also how can you flatly ignore the many people that have said yes, women generally have it easier?
Again… picture a person with 100 lottery tickets… now picture a person with one… who has a better chance of getting what they want? You know well the answer.

Expand  

The word "may" was used to acknowledge that they do (when it comes to purely numbers), not question whether they did - however what matters here is the quality of that choice not the volume of it.
.
In the same vein just because someone has 100 lottery tickets it doesn't guarantee they're going to win a single penny. Whereas someone who buys one ticket that just happens to have the right numbers is.
.
I've not ignored a thing and have acknowledged on more than one occasion that purely based on numbers it *could* be argued that women might be perceived (wrongly IMHO) to have it easier - but as I and others have also pointed out it's not as simple as purely basing it on numbers - there are many more factors to be taken into account.
.
Whereas you, have repeatedly chosen to ignore and try to bat away the fact that women do indeed have their own difficulties when using sites like this - they may not be the same as your own, but that doesn't mean they don't exist or make them any less worthy of being acknowledged.
.
I say again, no-one is stating here that men have it any easier than women, all anyone is saying is that all genders have their own difficulties to overcome negotiating sites like this and those difficulties *are* different but are no less significant than those faced by others.

[ac****]

  2 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

And yet Fet isn't the authority on what constitutes a kink. Just because it's not allowed here, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Pointing that out, isn't the same as promoting or engaging in it. Comprehension is important.

Expand  

Well… you done pointed it out… here.

[ge****]

  11 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

Except I’m not telling everyone to go ahead and engage in prostitution here and risk suspension/ban/jail. You missed that little distinction

Expand  

I'm not sure I've seen anyone suggest that here - whereas I have seen you arguing for the sake of arguing and *that* is where the pot, kettle comment was aimed.

[CopperKnob]

  1 minute ago, ace2587 said:

Well… you done pointed it out… here.

Expand  

Is that an apology?

[Th****]

  3 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

Contrary to Fet policy.

Expand  

Do you think that this singular app is the end all be all authority on all things kink and bdsm? Seriously? The reason it's not allowed is because it's an app and the credit card companies and they don't want to mess with their revenue. That's the bottom line. 

Regardless, findom isn't inherent to Femdom. This is super basic level stuff that anyone who's done any educating themselves should know. 

[ey****]

drug use is also against fet policy; but here we are.

[Th****]

  16 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

Again… picture a person with 100 lottery tickets… now picture a person with one… who has a better chance of getting what they want? You know well the answer.

Expand  

This comparison doesn't work. People actually win the lottery. 

[ey****]

  1 minute ago, ThaliaV said:

This comparison doesn't work. People actually win the lottery. 

Expand  

that and actually anyone can choose to have 100 lottery tickets should they wish 

[Th****]

  1 minute ago, eyemblacksheep said:

that and actually anyone can choose to have 100 lottery tickets should they wish 

Expand  

True

[me****]

lol this is not just about kink, irl it’s like that, all a girl gotta do is look decent not even good or step outside and men wanna fuck, as a man, u gotta have height, nice car or dress nice, at least for starters

[gu****]

With some female friends of mine I started the reverse experiment:
I gave them the rights to use pictures of me and use any text they'd like to create profiles on dating platforms. For each date they'd set up I'd invite them to a fancy dinner.
It was everytime a very interesting experience to see their enthusiasm dampen with each week. And quite sad to see how bitter they turned after a few months. How they started to use the exactly same methods men use. Like spamming low effort texts, taking down their expectations notch by notch...
But I still haven't had to take anyone out😉

[ac****]

  12 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

The word "may" was used to acknowledge that they do (when it comes to purely numbers), not question whether they did - however what matters here is the quality of that choice not the volume of it.
.
In the same vein just because someone has 100 lottery tickets it doesn't guarantee they're going to win a single penny. Whereas someone who buys one ticket that just happens to have the right numbers is.
.
I've not ignored a thing and have acknowledged on more than one occasion that purely based on numbers it *could* be argued that women might be perceived (wrongly IMHO) to have it easier - but as I and others have also pointed out it's not as simple as purely basing it on numbers - there are many more factors to be taken into account.
.
Whereas you, have repeatedly chosen to ignore and try to bat away the fact that women do indeed have their own difficulties when using sites like this - they may not be the same as your own, but that doesn't mean they don't exist or make them any less worthy of being acknowledged.
.
I say again, no-one is stating here that men have it any easier than women, all anyone is saying is that all genders have their own difficulties to overcome negotiating sites like this and those difficulties *are* different but are no less significant than those faced by others.

Expand  

I haven’t ignored or batted anything away, I’ve made an effort to address pretty much everything I take issue with, I apologize if I didn’t provide more comment on some of your points you would have liked to see. What I did do was point out that the whole rapist stalker thing is being overplayed a bit, and that we are ignoring some very real and comparable ***s for men. You all know for a damn fact that women choose *** over love allllll the time - Anna Nicole Smith, Melania Trump, there are seriously too many to name. Granted, the guys in those two examples were probably pretty happy with the situation, but certainly for me it is a *** that women are only in it to manipulate me and spend my ***, probably high tailing it when the *** runs out for the next sucker. But no one cares about all that. That doesn’t factor into the “difficulty” for men when we all know it is a factor, even if it’s not as blatantly obvious as marrying a repulsive geezer with millions.

[ac****]

You’re disregarding that no matter what someone wants or is looking for, you’re going to find it a lot sooner when you get a pool of one hundred people to choose from instead of one.

[ac****]

  7 minutes ago, guterZeitvertreib said:

With some female friends of mine I started the reverse experiment:
I gave them the rights to use pictures of me and use any text they'd like to create profiles on dating platforms. For each date they'd set up I'd invite them to a fancy dinner.
It was everytime a very interesting experience to see their enthusiasm dampen with each week. And quite sad to see how bitter they turned after a few months. How they started to use the exactly same methods men use. Like spamming low effort texts, taking down their expectations notch by notch...
But I still haven't had to take anyone out😉

Expand  

I love this lol, thank you for sharing.

[ge****]

  8 minutes ago, meatyman said:

lol this is not just about kink, irl it’s like that, all a girl gotta do is look decent not even good or step outside and men wanna fuck, as a man, u gotta have height, nice car or dress nice, at least for starters

Expand  

Yeah but just because men want to f*** those women doesn't mean those women want to actually go ahead and do it with them.
.
As for the second part of your "observation" that's completely inaccurate for the majority - if it were true there would be a very small minority of happy men who were getting all the women.
.
I'm a 59 year old man, who is average height, drives very average cars, spends most of my time in jeans and t-shirts, and don't have wads of ca$h - yet I am more than happy with the level of interaction I have with women both on sites like this and in the real world ...so go figure 🤷‍♂️

[me****]

Yeah but just because men want to f*** those women doesn't mean those women want to actually go ahead and do it with them.
.
As for the second part of your "observation" that's completely inaccurate for the majority - if it were true there would be a very small minority of happy men who were getting all the women.
.
I'm a 59 year old man, who is average height, drives very average cars, spends most of my time in jeans and t-shirts, and don't have wads of ca$h - yet I am more than happy with the level of interaction I have with women both on sites like this and in the real world ...so go figure 🤷‍♂️

U missed the point… and my drive in this comment, ur confident and experience is much better now cos you’ve made lots of mistake and learned and have nothing to loose, either she’s down or she ain’t, I’m 34 and know this for a fact, in our 20’s it can be a major problem to say the least, hope I get my point!! Women have more open in their dating pool when their younger, men have more option is they got their shit together or looking the part!!

[ge****]

  16 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

I haven’t ignored or batted anything away, I’ve made an effort to address pretty much everything I take issue with, I apologize if I didn’t provide more comment on some of your points you would have liked to see. What I did do was point out that the whole rapist stalker thing is being overplayed a bit, and that we are ignoring some very real and comparable ***s for men. You all know for a damn fact that women choose *** over love allllll the time - Anna Nicole Smith, Melania Trump, there are seriously too many to name. Granted, the guys in those two examples were probably pretty happy with the situation, but certainly for me it is a *** that women are only in it to manipulate me and spend my ***, probably high tailing it when the *** runs out for the next sucker. But no one cares about all that. That doesn’t factor into the “difficulty” for men when we all know it is a factor, even if it’s not as blatantly obvious as marrying a repulsive geezer with millions.

Expand  

Now who's generalising with references to *** grabbing women (who it's undeniable exist)?!
.
Bringing it back to realistic levels - it's been acknowledged plenty of times that men do indeed face difficulties on sites like this (though arguably in the overwhelming majority of cases those difficulties are self-inflicted) - yet not once have I seen you acknowledge that women face difficulties of their own - because you've been far too intent on trying to prove a point.
.
Even when looked at realistically, the "women have more choice and therefore have it easier" trope is false at a basic level - let's say for arguments sake (and it's a roughly accurate figure) there are 15 men to every woman on a site like this - now take out all the men who are vile and abusive, or the type to send dick pics, or simply have no clue how to approach women on sites like this - and honestly you're down to probably 5-7 men left in the pot - now remove everyone outside of a 100 mile radius of that lady - the number drops to maybe 2-3.
.
So the whole number imbalance and more choice argument doesn't actually stack up as being that different for men or women (when you are talking about quality not volume).

[Th****]

  20 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

You’re disregarding that no matter what someone wants or is looking for, you’re going to find it a lot sooner when you get a pool of one hundred people to choose from instead of one.

Expand  

Except for the fact that this isn't true if all available options are bad. This has been said several times now. 

[Charms]

  9 hours ago, guterZeitvertreib said:

I disagree - on technicalities! 🤭

On any kind of dating app it is wayyy easier for a woman to get ANY man then for a man to get a woman (for now just sticking to hetero-couplings)

Why? Because men are socially expected to do the first step. Which tends to end up in spamming - more or less efficient - womans inboxes.

Which makes it way more difficult for woman to sift through the messages to find THE man.
While men have to invest much energy into just getting over the first-contact hurdle.

 

 

Expand  

I have made the 1st move on people  I like. I don't sit an wait around for them.

 

It was myself  who gave master my phone  number.

 

I asked him out on our 1st date

[ey****]

and also that is what is getting tiring is the whole 100:1 quite simply, isn't true

In every circle this is debunked - even this very thread there's (from memory) 5-6 women, but isn't 500-600 men

in terms of global population, there are 102 men to every 100 women

on this site is difficult for metrics

on fetlife it is 1.5 men to every woman

even the most skewed dating sites are nowhere near 100:1

and of course if you actual partake in kink and fetish events you can see a lot is more evenly balanced 

 

of course, some spread may vary by territory, and doesn't necessarily account for who is/isn't available/looking and kink/dynamic overlaps (a problem regardless of gender) 

-

equally, if you genuinely believe the odds are stacked against you the easiest way to win is simply not to play.  Find a scenario where the odds favour you more.  

[ac****]

  16 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Except for the fact that this isn't true if all available options are bad. This has been said several times now. 

Expand  

This is what is known as “splitting hairs” and even then, you are still wrong. It is true even if all options are bad, because you had 100 chances for one to be good, as opposed to just 1 chance.
I realize that women can and do OCCASIONALLY make the first move. I think we can all agree that this is the exception, and not the rule.
Actually I’m not sure we can agree on much anything really. Not when undeniable truths are in constant denial. There is no starting point even, just cherry picking one item and ignoring the rest, even while comments from others in support of my position flow in.

[CopperKnob]

  2 minutes ago, ace2587 said:

This is what is known as “splitting hairs” and even then, you are still wrong. It is true even if all options are bad, because you had 100 chances for one to be good, as opposed to just 1 chance.
I realize that women can and do OCCASIONALLY make the first move. I think we can all agree that this is the exception, and not the rule.
Actually I’m not sure we can agree on much anything really. Not when undeniable truths are in constant denial. There is no starting point even, just cherry picking one item and ignoring the rest, even while comments from others in support of my position flow in.

Expand  

People aren't "wrong" when they're explaining their own personal experiences
.
If you're truly paying attention to the comments and who is in agreement with whom, you'll notice a trend.