Never had sex 🙈

[ey****]

the likelihood is there is nothing wrong with you

and, I don't believe in curses

here's something for you - while it sounds like the dates didn't go anywhere; you managed to get dates with people you met online.  Given the amount of folk who claim they can't get a reply, or things go silent when they mention meeting - this in itself has you harbour better results than a lot of folk.

It feels like there's something you're doing well there, which can be built on

I haven't read all the comments throughout - saw you mentioned stuff you used to do - but, if you haven't already; it could be worth looking at another hobby or change in socialising 

[ar****]

  3 hours ago, basingstoke671024 said:

I didn't go on my first date until I was 29 years old. I kept getting rejected by women who I met and got to know in everyday life. Plus I'm neurodivergent which has not helped

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If you think your neurodivergence may have something to do with this, maybe check in with yourself to see which trait(s) may be counterproductive for you. Like, are you unable to read/understand women's emotional state (Alexithymia?), are you often distracted and unfocused on them during the date, which they may take for (ingenuine) disinterest? Are your awkward in social situations which can cause all kinds of misunderstandings? Etc...

Also, are you dating ND women? Maybe they will be more inclined to be compatible, coming from mutual understanding?

[ba****]

  58 minutes ago, arnhem961 said:

If you think your neurodivergence may have something to do with this, maybe check in with yourself to see which trait(s) may be counterproductive for you. Like, are you unable to read/understand women's emotional state (Alexithymia?), are you often distracted and unfocused on them during the date, which they may take for (ingenuine) disinterest? Are your awkward in social situations which can cause all kinds of misunderstandings? Etc...

Also, are you dating ND women? Maybe they will be more inclined to be compatible, coming from mutual understanding?

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You makes some very good points. My neurodiversity has an awful lot to do with this. My female friend is convinced this is what is holding me back. All the points you make are valid. I can relate to all the points that you have made. I am easily distracted and unfocused. I struggle to understand a woman's emotional state. I am very awkward in social situations and can't engage in group conversations in person. Thanks for your points

[ar****]

  47 minutes ago, basingstoke671024 said:

You makes some very good points. My neurodiversity has an awful lot to do with this. My female friend is convinced this is what is holding me back. All the points you make are valid. I can relate to all the points that you have made. I am easily distracted and unfocused. I struggle to understand a woman's emotional state. I am very awkward in social situations and can't engage in group conversations in person. Thanks for your points

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I'm no expert to the topic, nor do I claim to have much insight in this.
.
But I have a gut feeling, that if you have a growth mindset (and/or possibly if you are desperate enough), you would be open to experimenting with interactions just to see if they can enable you to change for the better in this regard.
.
Then if that desire to develop and grow would be greater than your self-conscious (self-critical) thinking, it should empower you to step out of your comfort zone patterns to try different things in an attempt to get past this.
.
Towards this end, I would again suggest you look up a "Tantric dating" session if they're available. Or something along the lines of Biodanza or 5Rhythms that's less focused on dating and more about being present in your body.
.
Undertaking something like this may be challenging, scary even. It may go against everything your core being is. But if you feel down about this subject and are at a real loss, why not try to take a trial run of such "experiments", to see if they may yet stir something inside?
.
With the proper guidance/lead that's typical for such events, there should be a safe space for everyone, without judgment. Everyone who participates there should understand that all have different backgrounds and motives, maybe others have a neurodivergent background there too.

[ey****]

I guess a think about ND also - is it's a "catch all" for a whole bunch of different things 

If you have a diagnosis is one thing; if you don't, it's never too late to try to get one

But even if you do have one it's kinda worth taking it back to doctors and health professionals to say you're having trouble forming relationships and is there any help or resources they can recommend specific to your diagnosis and the scenario

 

the fetish scene has a LOT of people who are ND to some degree who can and do form relationships 

[ba****]

  18 hours ago, arnhem961 said:

I'm no expert to the topic, nor do I claim to have much insight in this.
.
But I have a gut feeling, that if you have a growth mindset (and/or possibly if you are desperate enough), you would be open to experimenting with interactions just to see if they can enable you to change for the better in this regard.
.
Then if that desire to develop and grow would be greater than your self-conscious (self-critical) thinking, it should empower you to step out of your comfort zone patterns to try different things in an attempt to get past this.
.
Towards this end, I would again suggest you look up a "Tantric dating" session if they're available. Or something along the lines of Biodanza or 5Rhythms that's less focused on dating and more about being present in your body.
.
Undertaking something like this may be challenging, scary even. It may go against everything your core being is. But if you feel down about this subject and are at a real loss, why not try to take a trial run of such "experiments", to see if they may yet stir something inside?
.
With the proper guidance/lead that's typical for such events, there should be a safe space for everyone, without judgment. Everyone who participates there should understand that all have different backgrounds and motives, maybe others have a neurodivergent background there too.

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Thanks for your advice. I will certainly look into these things. Much appreciated

[ba****]

  18 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I guess a think about ND also - is it's a "catch all" for a whole bunch of different things 

If you have a diagnosis is one thing; if you don't, it's never too late to try to get one

But even if you do have one it's kinda worth taking it back to doctors and health professionals to say you're having trouble forming relationships and is there any help or resources they can recommend specific to your diagnosis and the scenario

 

the fetish scene has a LOT of people who are ND to some degree who can and do form relationships 

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True, I probably should seek some advice about dating with ND or looking to date women with ND

[Mouse1]

I'm 42 and In the same boat as you I've basically given up completely I'm just not bothered any more no one wants me so truck em.

[Bi****]

You two should hook up!!

[ca****]

Is there something wrong with me? 

How do you answer this bit yourself?

 

Having read some of the thread not all.....   it does seem to be a bit repetitive.  I'd agree that most of your input centres around a negative view of yourself.   Not that unusual but possibly an avenue to explore .... if you want to work on a more positive side to it.

 

I also think you should be asking some of the dates you have been on for their feedback and listen to it...  and act upon their responses, agian if you want to work on a more positive outcome.

 

In the end it comes down to your desire and want to improve your 'dating' ... I imagine there will be some 'experts' out there who will happily charge you for their advice.

 

Therapy??

 

 

[ba****]

  7 hours ago, callipygian said:

Is there something wrong with me? 

How do you answer this bit yourself?

 

Having read some of the thread not all.....   it does seem to be a bit repetitive.  I'd agree that most of your input centres around a negative view of yourself.   Not that unusual but possibly an avenue to explore .... if you want to work on a more positive side to it.

 

I also think you should be asking some of the dates you have been on for their feedback and listen to it...  and act upon their responses, agian if you want to work on a more positive outcome.

 

In the end it comes down to your desire and want to improve your 'dating' ... I imagine there will be some 'experts' out there who will happily charge you for their advice.

 

Therapy??

 

 

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Thanks for your feedback. Yes probably should consider therapy or consulting an expert on the subject. I have asked for feedback after my dates and they all tell me the same thing. "The date went ok, nice to spend some time with me but unfortunately there was no chemistry or romantic connection" I expect they are probably being polite too in their answer

[ba****]

  17 hours ago, Mouse1 said:

I'm 42 and In the same boat as you I've basically given up completely I'm just not bothered any more no one wants me so truck em.

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Keep trying there are plenty of blokes out there who are looking for women. Not really my place to tell you how you can improve your odds, as I might come across a bit rude

[In****]

Some of the statements through the plethora of comments from the OP here ring alarmingly close to some of the incel drivel I have seen online.

@basingstoke671024 you mentioned that if we saw you in real life we'd know your not laying up for a sympathy fuck and follow up with the "why would a woman want me when she has a choice of all men".

That misplaced incorrect self pitying tone while ***ting women as purely sexual objects to be had is hard to swallow.

I recommend therapy, i find it extremely useful, to get to know yourself but also invest in a flesh light and read some erotica instead of watching porn. It'll expand your mind, allow you to visualise a deeper connection and stop unrealistic expectations around trying to date/hump random women.

Finally please do not list yourself as a Dom. You are absolutely inexperienced and could do real emotional or physiological damage to a new sub. Let alone the physical risks of a Ds scenario. Your "experiment" here to trick someone into having sex with you borders on uninformed consent. List as vanilla curious if anything.

[In****]

Psychological damage

[ba****]

  40 minutes ago, InThePink said:

Some of the statements through the plethora of comments from the OP here ring alarmingly close to some of the incel drivel I have seen online.

@basingstoke671024 you mentioned that if we saw you in real life we'd know your not laying up for a sympathy fuck and follow up with the "why would a woman want me when she has a choice of all men".

That misplaced incorrect self pitying tone while ***ting women as purely sexual objects to be had is hard to swallow.

I recommend therapy, i find it extremely useful, to get to know yourself but also invest in a flesh light and read some erotica instead of watching porn. It'll expand your mind, allow you to visualise a deeper connection and stop unrealistic expectations around trying to date/hump random women.

Finally please do not list yourself as a Dom. You are absolutely inexperienced and could do real emotional or physiological damage to a new sub. Let alone the physical risks of a Ds scenario. Your "experiment" here to trick someone into having sex with you borders on uninformed consent. List as vanilla curious if anything.

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The fact that I've never had a relationship and been single all my life nor been physical with a woman should surely tell you that there is something wrong with me. What that is, who knows. I don't find your comments helpful. I'm not after random sex with strangers. All the women on here live too far from me anyway and I would never be able to meet them in real life. For you information I'm on 5 dating sites and I do meet up with women for dates. That's as far as it gets. Apart from therapy or seeing a professional there is nothing I can do. As for watching porn. I'm not even able to access this on my phone. My network does not allow it. If I was really that desperate for sex then surely I would have paid for it by now

[ba****]

  47 minutes ago, InThePink said:

Some of the statements through the plethora of comments from the OP here ring alarmingly close to some of the incel drivel I have seen online.

@basingstoke671024 you mentioned that if we saw you in real life we'd know your not laying up for a sympathy fuck and follow up with the "why would a woman want me when she has a choice of all men".

That misplaced incorrect self pitying tone while ***ting women as purely sexual objects to be had is hard to swallow.

I recommend therapy, i find it extremely useful, to get to know yourself but also invest in a flesh light and read some erotica instead of watching porn. It'll expand your mind, allow you to visualise a deeper connection and stop unrealistic expectations around trying to date/hump random women.

Finally please do not list yourself as a Dom. You are absolutely inexperienced and could do real emotional or physiological damage to a new sub. Let alone the physical risks of a Ds scenario. Your "experiment" here to trick someone into having sex with you borders on uninformed consent. List as vanilla curious if anything.

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The quote I used- "why would a woman want me when she has a choice of all men" there is logic in this statement. I speak to women who I meet online dating. They get lots of matches and messages from a number of blokes. They could have about 10-20 different matches. They might then go on a number of dates with different men. The chance of them wanting a second date with me or becoming my girlfriend is incredibly unlikely.

[ba****]

  52 minutes ago, InThePink said:

Some of the statements through the plethora of comments from the OP here ring alarmingly close to some of the incel drivel I have seen online.

@basingstoke671024 you mentioned that if we saw you in real life we'd know your not laying up for a sympathy fuck and follow up with the "why would a woman want me when she has a choice of all men".

That misplaced incorrect self pitying tone while ***ting women as purely sexual objects to be had is hard to swallow.

I recommend therapy, i find it extremely useful, to get to know yourself but also invest in a flesh light and read some erotica instead of watching porn. It'll expand your mind, allow you to visualise a deeper connection and stop unrealistic expectations around trying to date/hump random women.

Finally please do not list yourself as a Dom. You are absolutely inexperienced and could do real emotional or physiological damage to a new sub. Let alone the physical risks of a Ds scenario. Your "experiment" here to trick someone into having sex with you borders on uninformed consent. List as vanilla curious if anything.

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Regardless of whether or not I list myself as a "Dom" on here will make no difference anyway. I never have any women messaging me on this platform and I'm never going to meet anyone from here so it will not make any difference

[ba****]

  1 hour ago, InThePink said:

Some of the statements through the plethora of comments from the OP here ring alarmingly close to some of the incel drivel I have seen online.

@basingstoke671024 you mentioned that if we saw you in real life we'd know your not laying up for a sympathy fuck and follow up with the "why would a woman want me when she has a choice of all men".

That misplaced incorrect self pitying tone while ***ting women as purely sexual objects to be had is hard to swallow.

I recommend therapy, i find it extremely useful, to get to know yourself but also invest in a flesh light and read some erotica instead of watching porn. It'll expand your mind, allow you to visualise a deeper connection and stop unrealistic expectations around trying to date/hump random women.

Finally please do not list yourself as a Dom. You are absolutely inexperienced and could do real emotional or physiological damage to a new sub. Let alone the physical risks of a Ds scenario. Your "experiment" here to trick someone into having sex with you borders on uninformed consent. List as vanilla curious if anything.

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I've never heard of a "flesh light" have no idea what this is. I can't see how reading erotica is going to help me. It will just make things worse. Make me feel more angry and bitter

[ba****]

Maybe joining the monastery is the answer. No phone, no online dating. Complete cleansing. Forget all about women and ever having a relationship might do me good, instead of dwelling on it.

[In****]

You're angry and bitter while taking no accountability to work on yourself. Sex is not the answer to happiness. If you're not happy without it then you'll find you still won't be happy with it long term. I'm out. This is a pointless conversation.

[ba****]

  23 minutes ago, InThePink said:

You're angry and bitter while taking no accountability to work on yourself. Sex is not the answer to happiness. If you're not happy without it then you'll find you still won't be happy with it long term. I'm out. This is a pointless conversation.

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I'm not only talking about sex. I'm talking about the fact that I've never had a relationship or been on a second date and the only women whom I've ever dated are ones I've met online and not in everyday life. Everytime I've got to know a woman in everyday life, she has told me no when I've asked her out. Know one understands the reason why. Even my family and friends can't understand it and I'm trying to work out the reasons why

[ba****]

  26 minutes ago, InThePink said:

You're angry and bitter while taking no accountability to work on yourself. Sex is not the answer to happiness. If you're not happy without it then you'll find you still won't be happy with it long term. I'm out. This is a pointless conversation.

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I do work on myself. I workout 5 times a week. Try to keep my hair nice, wear aftershave. Dress nicely etc. It's not like I don't make an effort or try to work on myself. I do have neurodiversity though.

[ba****]

It would be a lot easier if people were just honest with me and told me that I'm not physically attractive enough for a relationship, then atleast that way I know and don't have to keep ***ing myself. As the saying goes "it's the hope that kills you". The reason women don't want a second date with me is because they are not physically attracted to me. End of story.

[Bi****]

Jesus bro , your self sabotaging

[ba****]

  7 minutes ago, BigFrankie said:

Jesus bro , your self sabotaging

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After 20 years of rejection this is what happens unfortunately. I've tried being positive and confident. It never worked.