Do the Ladies respond to the "Kink Gifts"

[TM****]

The lady has seen your opening comment. It wasn't rude. The profile is filled out and she has looked at it.
She has a ton of texts to get through.
If she doesn't respond for whatever reason.
Is a Kink Gift really going to get her to respond?

[An****]

Also wondering

[Se****]

Depends if they like you; your profile, pics, message, etc.

[MusicTraveler]

Absolutely never once has a kinky gift done anything positive for me.
The women on this app are more arrogant and rude than any other dating app. At this point it’s just for browsing imo.

[kn****]

Be genuinely interested in your first message i get pretty decent response on this app

[jj****]

I ignore the kinky gifts personally, so at least for me, you can just hold off on that. Try responding to something in their profile. At least for me, those are usually the messages that lead to an actual conversation at least.

[MusicTraveler]

  2 minutes ago, jjbeanbun said:

I ignore the kinky gifts personally, so at least for me, you can just hold off on that. Try responding to something in their profile. At least for me, those are usually the messages that lead to an actual conversation at least.

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I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten a genuinely respectful response from a woman on this app. I always flirt respectfully, or based on what their profile requests; and always mention what I’m interested in about them.

I get a response to maybe 1/10 messages, and it’s usually very rude, or very very little effort, forcing me to chase or bail. For me, this app has been extremely toxic and significantly damaged my mental health.

[jj****]

  2 minutes ago, MusicTraveler said:

I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten a genuinely respectful response from a woman on this app. I always flirt respectfully, or based on what their profile requests; and always mention what I’m interested in about them.

I get a response to maybe 1/10 messages, and it’s usually very rude, or very very little effort, forcing me to chase or bail. For me, this app has been extremely toxic and significantly damaged my mental health.

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That sounds pretty stressful. I don’t know what you consider respectful but there are only a handful of opening messages that I will flat out ignore. If that many people are ignoring yours… I would wonder either if those profiles are not active or if you message isn’t as respectful as you think it is.

[La****]

Nope. People don't respond to me all the time. I just move on lol if I sent an interesting message and my profile is filled out to represent me as best it can, then they just aren't interested 🤷‍♀️ And that's ok.

[La****]

  13 minutes ago, MusicTraveler said:

I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten a genuinely respectful response from a woman on this app. I always flirt respectfully, or based on what their profile requests; and always mention what I’m interested in about them.

I get a response to maybe 1/10 messages, and it’s usually very rude, or very very little effort, forcing me to chase or bail. For me, this app has been extremely toxic and significantly damaged my mental health.

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I'm sorry you haven't had good responses. Can I offer a suggestion to you as to why you might get no response rather than no thank you?

Polite rejections have a 50/50 chance (yes, I pulled that stat out of my ass lol) of being met with a demand for why. If you give them a why, they usually take it as a personal insult and get nasty. Or they just go straight to nasty.

No response is safer for us. And if they read and don't respond, that is an answer, too. Please don't take it as something personal to you; it's likely them protecting themselves.

(Before people jump at you... Yes, I know it isn't all of you!!! But it's enough of you to make us wary.)

[La****]

*jump at me. Doh.

[fl****]

It seems like no one reads my profile before jumping into some of the nastiest raunchiest most insidious messages I’ve ever read in my life. I realize that I am on a kink site, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me as less than a person. I personally will ignore any messages from anybody that is either outside of my distance or outside of my age comfort zone there’s no point in entertaining a conversation that is going nowhere at first I tried to be nice and let people down gently and that just guarded me morevery nasty. Very mean responses so now I just ignore everybody outside of what I’m looking for.

[TM****]

  33 minutes ago, knotyouraverage said:

Be genuinely interested in your first message i get pretty decent response on this app

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My friend. Your profile rocks. Well said. Well thought out. If I could copy it, I would steal some of it.

[ta****]

I usually try to make a genuine compliment or start with something on their profile, but it doesn't work more often than not. I usually only get freaky off that bat if they have something like that on their profile. It sucks never knowing what will get a reply sometimes (I also know it might be something about my profile)

[TM****]

  42 minutes ago, SensuousDom said:

Depends if they like you; your profile, pics, message, etc.

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That's kind of the point. If they have already seen all of that stuff and don't respond. Why send the kink gift 🎁?
Your thoughts?

[La****]

Also, uncomfortably, a kinky gift can break through filters, allowing demographics you've already said you don't want to get access to you.

I think they are pointless, personally.

[Th****]

Gifts do nothing.

I have message filters fir a reason. Trying to get my attention others way is rude and shows that you don't care about my boundaries (you as in a generally).

 

I'm tired of men thinking that they can ignore my boundaries 

[TM****]

  6 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

Also, uncomfortably, a kinky gift can break through filters, allowing demographics you've already said you don't want to get access to you.

I think they are pointless, personally.

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Thank you Lady_Char. That's my thought. The ladies have so many options to choose from after they pass on the riffraff. And pass the decent guys who don't fit what they want. Why would they back track?

[sardonicus87]

  27 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

I'm sorry you haven't had good responses. Can I offer a suggestion to you as to why you might get no response rather than no thank you?

Polite rejections have a 50/50 chance (yes, I pulled that stat out of my ass lol) of being met with a demand for why. If you give them a why, they usually take it as a personal insult and get nasty. Or they just go straight to nasty.

No response is safer for us. And if they read and don't respond, that is an answer, too. Please don't take it as something personal to you; it's likely them protecting themselves.

(Before people jump at you... Yes, I know it isn't all of you!!! But it's enough of you to make us wary.)

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^ this hits the nail on the head.
.
I rarely message anyone because nobody's into the same things I am. On the rare occasion I do find a woman I am interested in or who I think would be interested in or who might be interested in the local munches and I message them, about half the time I get a reply.
.
Most women, like most men, aren't worth messaging and it's clear from their profile (or lack thereof) why they're really here. If I just messaged every woman, and did "all the right things", my response rate would maybe be 1 in 100.
.
But again, I'm selective... I'm looking for some specific things, so even if she has a profile, I don't "shoot a shot" mentioning stuff in her profile knowing that she's likely not looking for what I am offering per my own profile, because she's not likely to respond. I'm not what 99% of people are looking for.
.
So it isn't just about being respectful and "doing the right things" if your profile makes it clear that you aren't what she's looking for, she's not going to respond.
.
So guys, if you're getting a lot of no responses, look at what you claim you are on your profile vs what she claims to be looking for, probably most of those cases is an obvious mis-match and nobody owes anyone a response. Or look at who you're messaging and be honest with yourself, are you a 2/10 and only messaging 9/10's with 0 profile information? Half the people you're trying to message are probably bots and scammers, and the other half probably haven't logged on since the day after they created their account and got instantly bombarded in less than 6 hours, you're probably messaging zombies.
.
And if you have a "popular" kink and she has a "popular" kink (relatively speaking, let's be real, if you're into caning and JCD, that's not nearly common and sought out as DD/lg), the woman you're messaging likely has about 10 billion messages per day from 90% of guys ***tergun spamming every profile in existence and every guy that thinks they're what she's looking for.

[Th****]

  5 minutes ago, sardonicus87 said:

^ this hits the nail on the head.
.
I rarely message anyone because nobody's into the same things I am. On the rare occasion I do find a woman I am interested in or who I think would be interested in or who might be interested in the local munches and I message them, about half the time I get a reply.
.
Most women, like most men, aren't worth messaging and it's clear from their profile (or lack thereof) why they're really here. If I just messaged every woman, and did "all the right things", my response rate would maybe be 1 in 100.
.
But again, I'm selective... I'm looking for some specific things, so even if she has a profile, I don't "shoot a shot" mentioning stuff in her profile knowing that she's likely not looking for what I am offering per my own profile, because she's not likely to respond. I'm not what 99% of people are looking for.
.
So it isn't just about being respectful and "doing the right things" if your profile makes it clear that you aren't what she's looking for, she's not going to respond.
.
So guys, if you're getting a lot of no responses, look at what you claim you are on your profile vs what she claims to be looking for, probably most of those cases is an obvious mis-match and nobody owes anyone a response. Or look at who you're messaging and be honest with yourself, are you a 2/10 and only messaging 9/10's with 0 profile information? Half the people you're trying to message are probably bots and scammers, and the other half probably haven't logged on since the day after they created their account and got instantly bombarded in less than 6 hours, you're probably messaging zombies.
.
And if you have a "popular" kink and she has a "popular" kink (relatively speaking, let's be real, if you're into caning and JCD, that's not nearly common and sought out as DD/lg), the woman you're messaging likely has about 10 billion messages per day from 90% of guys ***tergun spamming every profile in existence and every guy that thinks they're what she's looking for.

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Don't forget that distance is part of filters too. Some people only want local

[Ha****]

I try and thank anyone who sends a kinky gift or “spank” but that doesn’t mean I’m interested. I know others won’t do that but I hope that helps a little to at least know that yes I received it and whether they should bother continuing the conversation. But my profile is written in a way with clear instructions on how to engage with me that don’t cost points.

[TM****]

  18 minutes ago, tantra-kink-guy said:

I usually try to make a genuine compliment or start with something on their profile, but it doesn't work more often than not. I usually only get freaky off that bat if they have something like that on their profile. It sucks never knowing what will get a reply sometimes (I also know it might be something about my profile)

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Yes. It's difficult to share our interests in the same activities without coming off wrong. Even when we know communication is key.

[La****]

  13 minutes ago, sardonicus87 said:

^ this hits the nail on the head.
.
I rarely message anyone because nobody's into the same things I am. On the rare occasion I do find a woman I am interested in or who I think would be interested in or who might be interested in the local munches and I message them, about half the time I get a reply.
.
Most women, like most men, aren't worth messaging and it's clear from their profile (or lack thereof) why they're really here. If I just messaged every woman, and did "all the right things", my response rate would maybe be 1 in 100.
.
But again, I'm selective... I'm looking for some specific things, so even if she has a profile, I don't "shoot a shot" mentioning stuff in her profile knowing that she's likely not looking for what I am offering per my own profile, because she's not likely to respond. I'm not what 99% of people are looking for.
.
So it isn't just about being respectful and "doing the right things" if your profile makes it clear that you aren't what she's looking for, she's not going to respond.
.
So guys, if you're getting a lot of no responses, look at what you claim you are on your profile vs what she claims to be looking for, probably most of those cases is an obvious mis-match and nobody owes anyone a response. Or look at who you're messaging and be honest with yourself, are you a 2/10 and only messaging 9/10's with 0 profile information? Half the people you're trying to message are probably bots and scammers, and the other half probably haven't logged on since the day after they created their account and got instantly bombarded in less than 6 hours, you're probably messaging zombies.
.
And if you have a "popular" kink and she has a "popular" kink (relatively speaking, let's be real, if you're into caning and JCD, that's not nearly common and sought out as DD/lg), the woman you're messaging likely has about 10 billion messages per day from 90% of guys ***tergun spamming every profile in existence and every guy that thinks they're what she's looking for.

Expand  

All of this!!!!!

In particular the part about matching - are you what they are looking for???

[Th****]

I get a ton of the gifts but in all honesty do not respond to them. I try to reply to all messages but if you are disrespectful and call me a derogatory name because I put you in your place you get automatically blocked.

[MusicTraveler]

It honestly seem like the inflated sense of confidence that comes with being online as a woman on a dating sight, and constantly getting spammed with sex offers, has seriously destroyed what used to be a semi normal dating scene - you ask them out, you go out, you talk on the phone sometimes when you’re both home. Whatever this is actually just makes people who struggle with abandonment due to ***, like me, honestly just want to die.
I’ve never felt less attractive in my life.