Deleted Member Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 I have a few close friends who are not involved or part of the fetish scene.!.When they come round to spend an evening at my home , the comments about what I am wearing or how I look are really complimentary but when it comes to going out with the same friends , it is really obvious that they are uncomfortable with my overall appearance. I do not know how to cope with this. I want to be myself I have struggled for years to get to a stage where I feel good about myself , how I look etc...How far should I go in keeping these friendships going...or do you think I should look for friends who are part of this community? Are my so called friends two faced with their honesty.I had a chat -as one does with a hairdresser-and she said that a true friend would be supportive and would not be ashamed to go out in public in my company. What is really lovely...is that she always stops to chat when she sees me...and even joins me for an early morning coffee.!...Any advice...Cassie
Deleted Member Posted December 2, 2017 Author Posted December 2, 2017 Hi Cassie, I really enjoy your posts by the way! I can understand your frustrations with these friendships however not everything is for everyone. They may admire your ability to be yourself but be anxious about others reactions to you. This is something for them to deal with and not you. It doesnt makes them less of a friend in my opinion....I have vanilla friends who I go to the cinema with, mum friends where I just pop to their house but dont go out with and kinky friends who I openly discuss my private life with and would happily dress up and go to events etc with. I think what im trying to say is that different people bring different things to our lives and this should be embraced. Ultimately though if you feel that friends are not supportive of who you are as a person then you need to cut ties. You are clearly very brave and confident, maybe these people just need to catch up...it can be a journey for everyone x
Deleted Member Posted December 2, 2017 Author Posted December 2, 2017 Shame you don't live closer cassie, id go out dressed with you and my mrs and her friend would join in, they love it when i dress, they take me shopping and all sorts. I havnt been able to go shopping dressed yet but im nearly there and looking for friends like us to go with. Hang in there, i was in boots earlier chatting to the no. 7 girls about makeup and crossdressing and they were really good so i think some people just need time to get used to it. Xxx
Deleted Member Posted December 2, 2017 Author Posted December 2, 2017 It is a shame...but if the moderators allow a topic or post...I might get somewhere..!....It will be more of an S.O.S...than a serious topic...but..! Cassie
Pa**** Posted December 2, 2017 Posted December 2, 2017 Cassie34, I'm not sure of the time frame from the start of your own life change and the rate that you are making changes. Your changing, your friends are changing, your family is changing and the world is changing and all these changes are happening at different paces. What I would advise is giving your friends and family time to change as well....it will be stressful and frustrating. GOOD FRIENDS You will have some good friends that will struggle to accept your change, it's mainly their problem as they will not know how to adjust straight away, it's not not like flipping a switch from one state to another. Good friends will need time to understand your change and accept you fully, this will be difficult for you as well as your friends, but good friends will learn, adjust and accept, give them the benefit of the doubt and time for them to change and adjust as well. What I would advise you to do is keep an open mind and not judge your friends too quickly and condemn them too quickly. Remember your making a change and good friends need to adjust as well. You'll going to get lots of questions, some that will make you shake with laughter and others with anger.....but they will be trying figure you and themselves. BAD FRIENDS On the other side of the coin, there are bad friends, we all have them in our lives, they take more than they contribute and the odds are you've known that they have to go for sometime. You know they won't change, adjust or accept your change, to be fair they didn't really accept you before you started your journey, bad friends wanted you to fit into their lives. ODD FRIENDS Beware there is always those friends that will be like a cats on a hot tin roof, don't reject straight away as they are usually the one that help you when things are at their darkest. GIVE YOURSELF TIME Give your some time to sort out the good from the bad, then you can decide who are good friends and make time for them as they do you, healthy relationships are the key to a happy life.
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