DD/lg dynamics question

[Deleted Member]

Hello fellow kinksters 

I am exploring the whole kink scene and trying to understand exactly what I want and if it has a name. Recently I found out about the Daddy Dom and little girl dynamic. I think that's probably what I am most into, but there are a few things that I don't like about it, so I was wondering if it has to be exactly that way. Let me explain.

 

I LIKE:

-A caring, loving yet a firm and strict dom.

-To feel safe and "protected".

-To be called a "good girl".

-To be held in place.

-To relinquish control.

-A little bit of ***, although not too much. I'm not a masoquist.

 

I DISLIKE:

-The idea of acting childish, pouting, playing with ***'s toys or faking a childish voice.

-The idea of being treated like a child.

-The idea of being "bossed around" outside of the bedroom. Although I like to feel protected and cared for and I'll probably listen to my dom outside of the bedroom, I am NOT to be expected to follow orders or be a sub in normal daily life, unless agreed at specific times for fun. 

-Although I love what the word "Daddy" represents, I don't think I actually like to use the word "daddy".

If you dislike the things I dislike, is what I like still considered a DD/gl dynamic? or do you HAVE to like those things?

Edited April 11, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

The way you want your dynamic and submission is the only right way, I am sure you could find a Dom who’s feel the same or would agree with some of your conditions. You might struggle with the Daddy calling situation ? It’s their kink too after all.
What is it that you struggle with the tittle ? Not all Ddlg imply age regression but your future Dom will explain you all this.

[cautiousswitch]

Sounds more like a ***ager than a little girl.  I don't know if there is a specific *** version of little girl in kink.

All of what you say that you like can be found in relationships other than daddy/lg dynamics.  They may call you "good slave" or some other term instead of "good girl" but the same attitude will be there.  You are looking for a relationship that is as much about nurturing as sex or BDSM, even any *** aspect is more about teaching you than satisfying the punishers need to cause ***.  daddy/lg pays well into this dynamic, but it doesn't have to be so strict that it includes all the things that you dislike.

There are  people who would accept this sort of relationship.  The thing you will have to decide and discuss with future partners is how much control outside the bedroom are you willing to give.  You will also have to decide if your dislikes are absolute or are you flexible on any of them; you may meet someone who wants exactly what you want or you may have to accept a little of what you dislike to get all that you like.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

The way you want your dynamic and submission is the only right way, I am sure you could find a Dom who’s feel the same or would agree with some of your conditions. You might struggle with the Daddy calling situation ? It’s their kink too after all.
What is it that you struggle with the tittle ? Not all Ddlg imply age regression but your future Dom will explain you all this.

I guess the whole point of calling your dom "daddy" is because it's a word that reflects the whole caring and warmth of the relationship. However to me, it evoques cringe-like feelings. Makes me think of a child and a real dad. I just wonder if there is another word that could work? I understand it being a bit of an issue. I would try for their sake, but if we could find another word that evoques the same feelings "daddy" would do to them, then it'd be great. 

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

Sounds more like a ***ager than a little girl.  I don't know if there is a specific *** version of little girl in kink.

All of what you say that you like can be found in relationships other than daddy/lg dynamics.  They may call you "good slave" or some other term instead of "good girl" but the same attitude will be there.  You are looking for a relationship that is as much about nurturing as sex or BDSM, even any *** aspect is more about teaching you than satisfying the punishers need to cause ***.  daddy/lg pays well into this dynamic, but it doesn't have to be so strict that it includes all the things that you dislike.

There are  people who would accept this sort of relationship.  The thing you will have to decide and discuss with future partners is how much control outside the bedroom are you willing to give.  You will also have to decide if your dislikes are absolute or are you flexible on any of them; you may meet someone who wants exactly what you want or you may have to accept a little of what you dislike to get all that you like.

My dislikes are flexible, except for acting like a little girl. I prefer to be called "good girl" than "good slave". I feel that there is less warmth and affection in the world "slave", but I wouldn't mind it if we were roleplaying. Just not all the time.

Thanks for answering  

[Deleted Member]

Interesting thoughts, that i also had to deal with from the other side. But what is BDSM or the world of kinks about?! 
I mean there is no need for a strict framework, that does not fit to you or your partner. There are also no rules about how it has to happen, when you play "little" or feel like it and just live it. There is no need for a coloring book, a pacifier or stuffed ***s. And if you then again, five years from now feel more like it, because the dynamic of your relationship has shifted, that's also okay. 

I mean, just think what you do to please someone you like and think about what you yourself demand or need for yourself, to feel just right with someone you are intimate with. There are some personal touches, but everything can change with someone else, because another person may make you just feel right, feel cute, little, *** or just like the princess you want to be. (...if you are into it or dream something like that, i think you know what i mean) 
I think in many situations the feeling part can pretty much depend on a person. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

52 minutes ago, Odyssey said:

I guess the whole point of calling your dom "daddy" is because it's a word that reflects the whole caring and warmth of the relationship. However to me, it evoques cringe-like feelings. Makes me think of a child and a real dad. I just wonder if there is another word that could work? I understand it being a bit of an issue. I would try for their sake, but if we could find another word that evoques the same feelings "daddy" would do to them, then it'd be great. 

Of course they will be other words

bigbear

Sirteddy

Nounours

I am sure some would come up with more 

you need to start a relationship then you might find the cringe feeling might go away. Remember we are not judgemental on here. And you will see far “cringier” than that. When you play I hope you won’t think about your vanilla life, it’s something you need to detach yourself from.. 

nobody should call you slave 

Edited April 11, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

I like pretty much all the things you do and dislike all the things you do, no dynamic has a set of rules you have to obey and every individual dynamic is different, no you don't have to call your dom daddy, you can both decide on an appropriate name for example Sir, Master or in some cases when I'm been cute and soft I use Wolfie so really it's what ever works for you both within your own dynamic. I still get called good girl and yes it's fantastic to hear and turns you into jelly 😜 any good dom with have your safety at the heart of everything he does he won't want you seriously harmed in any way and will play within your already set limits, safety words are used so if he was to come close or overstep your limits you can clearly let him know but an experienced dom will most likely be able to tell from your reactions, protection from a dom is a wonderful thing any dom that wants a LTR with you will protect his investment and also ownership is truly lovely, your allowed to like what you like and dislike what you don't like you don't have to do anything your not comfortable with your not a door mat they want you to enjoy the experience as much as they do but they will test your boundaries and you just maybe surprised things you thought you would hate you may actually like

[Deleted Member]

The wonderful thing about Ds is that there is no right way to do it, no set rules or dynamics. They are what you and your Dom / Sir / Daddy agree on, and that includes how much control extends into your daily life - as much as you want it to and agree to. It doesn't sound like you are a little / girl, but a submissive who is looking tor a caring Dom who does cuddles and kisses as well as spanking and control.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, UnicornMyMaster said:

The wonderful thing about Ds is that there is no right way to do it, no set rules or dynamics. They are what you and your Dom / Sir / Daddy agree on, and that includes how much control extends into your daily life - as much as you want it to and agree to. It doesn't sound like you are a little / girl, but a submissive who is looking tor a caring Dom who does cuddles and kisses as well as spanking and control.

That sounds pretty accurate! so perhaps I am not really a little then. I like the mix of discipline and domination with a caring and loving attitude at the same time. 

[Deleted Member]

The fun is in finding out who / what you are, and what you want / need. Everyone is different, subs and dom/mes, and by chatting with different dom/mes, you can learn more about what you want and like / dislike. And by reading (which it sounds like you have been doing). I can't speak for all Dom/mes, but I like to do hard and soft Dom, so flogging and caning and clamps, along with caresses and kisses, especially when she is coming down from subspace and needs to feel me close. I wish you good luck in finding your One x