Sadism with a gentle soul.

[cautiousswitch]

Within the kink community people will describe themselves as sadists or talk about their sadistic side, but rarely do they talk about practicing sadism as a if it were a lone act.  It's usually S&M - the recognition that they are practicing it with someone willing to receive the *** - the recognition of consent.

If a masochist gets enjoyment from receiving *** then is it really ***? Then wouldn't a "true" sadist never practice with a willing partner?

The Marquis de Sade would hire prostitutes not telling them what he intended to do to them; several of them reported him to the police afterwards.  Even though we use a title based on his name his methods are generally frowned on.  Does that mean that there are no "true" sadists here?

If you and your partner were giving a demonstration and she was enjoying herself and you were enjoying yourself nobody would stop and ask your motives for enjoying it and most people would accept it as a demonstration of sadism and masochism.

[Ky****]

@MsWhiteRose having had some pretty violent tendencies as a youth myself I really understand that post, although I'm the opposite in that I wonder if I could still enjoy inflicting rather than receiving, in part because I'm not sure whether my pleasure at inflicting was somehow bound up with macho notions of what men do, something I'm happy to say femdomme helped me get around, when at heart I wanted to be the girl on the receiving end in all those dodgy S&S master slave girl scenarios.

So yes wrt your last post it is great to receive from an accomplished artist

[Deleted Member]

30 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

Within the kink community people will describe themselves as sadists or talk about their sadistic side, but rarely do they talk about practicing sadism as a if it were a lone act.  It's usually S&M - the recognition that they are practicing it with someone willing to receive the *** - the recognition of consent.

If a masochist gets enjoyment from receiving *** then is it really ***? Then wouldn't a "true" sadist never practice with a willing partner?

The Marquis de Sade would hire prostitutes not telling them what he intended to do to them; several of them reported him to the police afterwards.  Even though we use a title based on his name his methods are generally frowned on.  Does that mean that there are no "true" sadists here?

If you and your partner were giving a demonstration and she was enjoying herself and you were enjoying yourself nobody would stop and ask your motives for enjoying it and most people would accept it as a demonstration of sadism and masochism.

 If a masochist gets enjoyment from receiving *** then is it really ***?

That's the line I was after,that resonates instantly and makes it all a little clearer.Thank you.

[Deleted Member]

My personal experience is that if you are turned on by being hurt as I am - then there is a difference between being hurt by a sadist (someone who gets turned on by inflicting ***) and a dominant who is keen on reactions and giving a sub what she desires. I’m not suggesting that sadists don’t also enjoy the latter but that their primary urge/motivation is to hurt.
It feels different to me. The dynamic is quite different. And I think would make a huge difference in the experience for both submissive AND dominant. And for that dynamic to work both partners have to know themselves well. Asking these questions of ourselves helps us do that I hope.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you Kate,yes again that makes sense 

[Deleted Member]

I personally think it's great. You can inflict some degree of ***, you like it and like that she likes it, but you care about going too far and worry about her wellbeing. I recently found out about soft doms and/or daddy doms. It seems to definetly be a thing! 

[BigPolly]

I know it’s hard but try & not overthink it because chances are when you’re in the middle of play with someone amazing & your adrenaline is heightened, everything changes & you find yourself willing to do things you probably wouldn’t do with a ‘straight head’. 
Also you may find your fetishes & role changes depending on who you’re playing with. You may find yourself so comfortable with someone that you are happy to step towards your limits.

Also if someone trusts you enough to allow you to take them to the heights of pure pleasure through *** that means they have huge trust in you & that’s a big compliment.

If you reach someones limits & they need to use their safe word, that means they feel so safe in your company that they know you’ll stop when that word is used. Again another compliment.

For someone to inflict extreme *** on me is such a huge raw ***istic turn on but I have to be able to trust that someone can perform that correctly in a way that works for both of us. If I can become a writhing mass of ***/*** giver without worrying & just enjoying the moment then that’s amazing. Someone just wavering a cane around because he thinks he’s billy-big-bollocks isn’t what we’re looking for.

Just remember, women aren’t made out of bone China, we’re not going to break & although it may not feel natural to inflict ***, what we do during play isn’t what we’d do in everyday life anyway. Just the same way I don’t want my local gp to fist me, that’s far from natural & not who I am.... but the thought of medical play is a huge turn on. 
Whatever makes you smile is always a good thing 😊

[Deleted Member]

its really a hard one, as you only start your bdsm life. I think you have sadist tendency but not a sadist otherwise you won't question yourself. 

when I started my impact play it was part of the kinky stuffs during sessions, a mix of *** and sexual pleasure. Then I did start to enjoy more the *** inflicting side because it was pushing the subs boundaries. Most of the subs I collared were newbies and didnt have any experience with impact play. So the start was very soft and I progressively took them to the level they never thought they could achieved. Only few didnt liked it and I had to lowered down. I had a masochist but for some health issue I end it. I also questioned myself about her reason for being sadisted. One need to think where or when the help for self*** is called for. 

But I am not a pure sadist as I aim for the all experiences, but I could be. I like the act before, the sound of the flesh being hit, the sound of the subs screaming through her mouth gag and I even could smell their ***. 

the real sadist I would says is the one that only chose the newbies as they get hurt more, as for caring of course you can be a sadist and making sure they are in safe hands! this is the fine line with a psychopath 

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

 If a masochist gets enjoyment from receiving *** then is it really ***?

That's the line I was after,that resonates instantly and makes it all a little clearer.Thank you.

 

It definitely is still ***! 

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, MsWhiteRose said:

 

It definitely is still ***! 

😂thanks for clearing that up Rose.

[Deleted Member]

52 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

its really a hard one, as you only start your bdsm life. I think you have sadist tendency but not a sadist otherwise you won't question yourself. 

when I started my impact play it was part of the kinky stuffs during sessions, a mix of *** and sexual pleasure. Then I did start to enjoy more the *** inflicting side because it was pushing the subs boundaries. Most of the subs I collared were newbies and didnt have any experience with impact play. So the start was very soft and I progressively took them to the level they never thought they could achieved. Only few didnt liked it and I had to lowered down. I had a masochist but for some health issue I end it. I also questioned myself about her reason for being sadisted. One need to think where or when the help for self*** is called for. 

But I am not a pure sadist as I aim for the all experiences, but I could be. I like the act before, the sound of the flesh being hit, the sound of the subs screaming through her mouth gag and I even could smell their ***. 

the real sadist I would says is the one that only chose the newbies as they get hurt more, as for caring of course you can be a sadist and making sure they are in safe hands! this is the fine line with a psychopath 

I agree,I don't think I am a sadist,not in what could be called the traditional way.

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

😂thanks for clearing that up Rose.

If you're not sure, you should give it a try yourself. 

[Deleted Member]

I am sure,really really sure 😂😂

[Ky****]

10 hours ago, MsWhiteRose said:

 

It definitely is still ***! 

as is so much that is pleasurable, those ridiculous stillies that I love, being taken anally still hurts or a good spanking etc, but the wonderful feeling inside overcomes the *** and renders it more an example of erotic feeling-even if I am screaming into a gag

[BabygirlwantsaDaddy]

Maybe you should look into a daddy dom/ little relationship. Thats definitely the type of relationship where you can inflict *** and you must care or have a heart at the same time. I know its exactly what im looking for...just a thought. Good luck to you.

[Si****]

I consider myself a Sadist, however I don't get to let that side of me out.

Just thinking of inflicting *** on my sub gets my motor running. I don't do it as she does not like ***. So my sadistic side stays in my mind only. One day we will find that special sub that will join us and I will be able to let that side of me out.

 

[Ky****]

2 hours ago, SirGreen said:

I consider myself a Sadist, however I don't get to let that side of me out.

Just thinking of inflicting *** on my sub gets my motor running. I don't do it as she does not like ***. So my sadistic side stays in my mind only. One day we will find that special sub that will join us and I will be able to let that side of me out.

 

looks like your test didn't quite get the right result then, only 56 % sadist, or is this the result of the compassionate, gentle soul moderating those instincts and knocking a few % off? lol

[Si****]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

looks like your test didn't quite get the right result then, only 56 % sadist, or is this the result of the compassionate, gentle soul moderating those instincts and knocking a few % off? lol

lol, I'm clearly a very self disciplined man. hhahahaha

[Ky****]

2 minutes ago, SirGreen said:

lol, I'm clearly a very self disciplined man. hhahahaha

self disciplined man, is that the term for a switch with no playmates?

[Si****]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

self disciplined man, is that the term for a switch with no playmates?

lol possibly, but In my case a Dom in a LTR with a sub. So in my case I'm a well retained man.