Do All Female Doms Require a Financial Tribute?

[ey****]

  3 hours ago, SlaughterGang22 said:

If I may ask, okay fine payment is a part of the process (unless there’s a legitimate relationship involved) how do I avoid getting scammed

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so at it's simplest - on this site people aren't allowed to ask you for *** so if they do, scam or not, then avoid

some slight exceptions apply if they have a Dominatrix profile - but as you're in the US, you wouldn't be able to see those profiles because of SESTA/FOSTA laws (which have just made things more difficult for everyone)
on the wider web - there's a lot of different scenarios someone might be asking *** and being legit.

In most cases - whether online play or a intention to meet... which platforms are they verified on? how do they want payment? most payment methods will feel sketchy but especially if they want gift cards approach with caution.  But in terms of platform verifications - stuff like OnlyFans, Clip Sites, etc. all require them to show government ID - so if you can see they're on those sites then they have had to show someone ID.   Though, to twist the plot - you can't discuss meets on/via OF 

If you are aware of a local dungeon which hosts pro sessions, they can be good to speak to.   

Local munches and events can also be a good way to both meet people in general, and get recommendations on Pros.

Cos like, in the UK I'd say totally different things. A lot of ladies have twitter presences, websites, and are on AdultWork and Mistress Directories - the US things are a lot tighter because of SESTA/FOSTA - so you might have to get busy with google fingers to find things like Mistresses, dungeons, etc. near you 

[Sl****]

  2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

so at it's simplest - on this site people aren't allowed to ask you for *** so if they do, scam or not, then avoid

some slight exceptions apply if they have a Dominatrix profile - but as you're in the US, you wouldn't be able to see those profiles because of SESTA/FOSTA laws (which have just made things more difficult for everyone)
on the wider web - there's a lot of different scenarios someone might be asking *** and being legit.

In most cases - whether online play or a intention to meet... which platforms are they verified on? how do they want payment? most payment methods will feel sketchy but especially if they want gift cards approach with caution.  But in terms of platform verifications - stuff like OnlyFans, Clip Sites, etc. all require them to show government ID - so if you can see they're on those sites then they have had to show someone ID.   Though, to twist the plot - you can't discuss meets on/via OF 

If you are aware of a local dungeon which hosts pro sessions, they can be good to speak to.   

Local munches and events can also be a good way to both meet people in general, and get recommendations on Pros.

Cos like, in the UK I'd say totally different things. A lot of ladies have twitter presences, websites, and are on AdultWork and Mistress Directories - the US things are a lot tighter because of SESTA/FOSTA - so you might have to get busy with google fingers to find things like Mistresses, dungeons, etc. near you 

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Wow. This was very enlightening thank you so much

[MistressWhipplash]

If she is.offering a paid-for-service on an hourly rate and she has a list.of what she does she is a ProDomme. Yes you will need to read her reviews, negotiate what play you seek snd pay what she asks for if you want that service from her.

If you want a free kinky play time for ten minutes go to a fetish club. Socialise and go from there. Her no means no so move on.

If you seek kink within a relationship such as FLR a lifestuler Dominant Woman at a munch or fetish club is whom you socialise with. An ordinary relationship still will have *** in there someone, however won't be the main goal.

FinDom= financially focused Domme who is into transactional kink. ATM meets etc. Yes that person will require *** and has a higher change of being a scamper.
Research her and her profile.

[sillysub]

But Dommes here aren't allowed to charge or do findomme. So if you do find one please report them. Not all dynamics will include ***. All the dynamics I've been in there have not been finances included at all. Be sure to communicate. Communication is very important 

[ey****]

  30 minutes ago, sillysub said:

But Dommes here aren't allowed to charge

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yes they are

but they MUST have a Dominatrix profile. 

[sillysub]

  50 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

yes they are

but they MUST have a Dominatrix profile. 

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Read the website rules. Findomming isn't allowed at all. They've even made multiple posts stating this. Also, there is a reporting option that says you can report someone for financial interest 

[MistressWhipplash]

When asked about Findom I was referring to elsewhere rather than this site specifically. FinDommes post on Twitter and all sorts. Rarely do they go munches and events which is why I suggest getting out and about where kinksters are.

[MistressWhipplash]

ProDommes charge to provide a service and have their own Web site and are listed in the ProDomme directory not on this site.

[ey****]

  7 hours ago, sillysub said:

Read the website rules. Findomming isn't allowed at all. They've even made multiple posts stating this. Also, there is a reporting option that says you can report someone for financial interest 

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I am very aware of the site rules.

Yes, you're right - Findomming isn't allowed.

But you said "Dommes here aren't allowed to charge" - they are.  But they must have a Dominatrix profile.  And, I guess to further - folk in the US cannot have a Dominatrix profile due to laws in the US - and folk in the US cannot view those who have a Dominatrix profile. 

[ey****]

  7 hours ago, MistressWhipplash said:

Rarely do they go munches and events which is why I suggest getting out and about where kinksters are.

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not only that - but those who do go to munches and events don't do so from a financial perspective - i.e. they won't charge you to sit next to them or ask for a drink to chat.   

[MistressWhipplash]

  21 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

not only that - but those who do go to munches and events don't do so from a financial perspective - i.e. they won't charge you to sit next to them or ask for a drink to chat.   

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Yes that is a point. When I am at munches it's a social chat at a pub that usually does food so we are sitting all together eating. I am at a local munch in Romford too. They are usually alot of fun.

[we****]

Your best option would be to discuss that with your Dom. She is the only one that knows what you provide her. If you are not meeting her requirements I see no reason why you should not reimburse her for her invaluable energy. I suggest the question you should ask is, “Does your own male entitlement to a relationship with a person so far your superior, allow you to imagine a future situation where you were freeloading on a woman to the extent you think that the only way you can contribute is your grubby ***?” Try harder

[Deleted Member]

Alot of women are just taking advantage of men that are insecure, lonely or desperate. Financial domination is a very convenient fetish that has become quite popular as of late. Are there those whom may genuinely have such desires, I'm sure there are. For the most part, it's one hell of an easy grift. Deposits, while a valid request in many situations outside of just a fetish session, are also an easy way to take advantage of someone's desperation and lack of alternative options. Be safe and best of luck.

[Bu****]

  November 28, 2023, LadyV said:

I'm a Dominant/Sadist and I'm happily married to my sub. I don't require *** and I typically make more *** than my partners anyways. I do require that I find a sub both interesting and attractive according to my own personal standards and preferences. Unfortunately, most don't qualify. Not because my standards are especially difficult (literally, just be a reasonably put together human being who I can have a decent conversation with), it's because most men in the dating pool are incredibly low effort. They want everything for nothing in return and then get so angry when the answer to that is, "no." 

 

I'm also queer and not terribly interested in cishet men to begin with because cishet male subs in my experience tend to be greedy bottoms seeking a free sex worker or free Pro-Domme to service their assholes and spoon-feed them all their self-centered fetishes instead of having an actual relationship and power dynamic. So, I don't typically date cishet men. I have had better experiences with subs of other demographics (including queer and trans men). 

 

There's also no small amount of misogyny saturating your average cishet male sub. Hence why we have idiots in here claiming "Dominant women don't exist, all women are subs!" or "they only exist for men/***!" These are pretty damn bog standard misogynistic statements that are obviously incorrect for anyone who has ever bothered to interact with real world kinksters and witness real world relationships. Misogynistic statements like that are a pretty strong indicator to me that I'm talking to a porn addict man who only has "online experience" and doesn't want to have to leave his house. Just order up his fantasies served hot and fresh in 30 minutes or less from Dommino's. 

 

What too many cishet male subs consistently fail to understand is this:

1. If you want D/s as a service provided to you with you giving no effort, no time investment on your part, and no requirement that the other person likes you or finds you attractive...you're gonna have to invest *** and pay for it. 

2. If you want D/s to be "free"...you're going to have to invest a lot of personal time and emotional/social effort into getting another human being (who has to ALSO initially feel potentially attracted to you and be compatible with you, not just you feeling that way towards them) to like you enough as a person, and trust you enough, and also be attracted enough to want to do those things with specifically you. 

 

Spoilers: Option 2 is waaaay more difficult (and sometimes more expensive in a huge multitude of ways) than Option 1 because that's how human relationships work for all of us.  

 

It seems most horny sub men on the internet want the zero effort, instant gratification sex-service provider experience but with the no-cost treatment from non-pro strangers. That is not remotely realistic to expect. It's fucking illogical. Everything always costs something, *** or effort. This isn't rocket science. 

 

The more submissive men refuse to acknowledge the reality of this, the longer they'll just stay alone. 🤷‍♀️

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Well said Lady V!!! Well said!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 💯

[Holmsey]

Nothing for nothing as they say.

[MistressWhipplash]

Be aware you will invest your time, words, mind, effort and much more to build a long term relationship where kink is mixed in according to how SHE wants it and when.

 

If, however, you seek a kink dispenser yes you will pay a ProDomme for that kink service. 

Be aware of the different approaches if you seek a relationship with a lifestyle Dominant Woman versus a pay-to-play (no relationship) ProDomme.

Both require you use your manners. The ProDomme is a transaction.

Long-term effort is required on your part with a relationship with a Dominant Woman. 

Learn the differences between a scammer-for-***-only, a reputable ProDomme and a lifestyle Dominant.

 

 

 

 

 

[StrictMaster44]

  1 hour ago, MistressWhipplash said:

Be aware you will invest your time, words, mind, effort and much more to build a long term relationship where kink is mixed in according to how SHE wants it and when.

 

If, however, you seek a kink dispenser yes you will pay a ProDomme for that kink service. 

Be aware of the different approaches if you seek a relationship with a lifestyle Dominant Woman versus a pay-to-play (no relationship) ProDomme.

Both require you use your manners. The ProDomme is a transaction.

Long-term effort is required on your part with a relationship with a Dominant Woman. 

Learn the differences between a scammer-for-***-only, a reputable ProDomme and a lifestyle Dominant.

 

 

 

 

 

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Very well said!

[subbbn]

I've been a sub on and off for 10 years and very few will not do anything without being paid. Many feel that they should be paid for chatting with you.. They call you a time waister if they don't get any *** out of you. Bdsm sites like this one is where they find their customers. But i have found a few that were awesome without being paid.

[ey****]

  18 hours ago, subbbn said:

Bdsm sites like this one is where they find their customers

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on here it's not permitted to do anything for pay, either asking or offering.

If someone does explicitly ask, then the right thing to do is to end the conversation and hit report (or, politely point out that it's not permitted to request cash on here - at which point they may either argue or try to take you off site)

  18 hours ago, subbbn said:

Many feel that they should be paid for chatting with you.. They call you a time waister if they don't get any *** out of you.

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Whilst not always the case (and again, not applicable here) there are those whose profiles are *obvious* that they are there in a Pro capacity - and, well, there are guys who will deliberately try to string them along (definitely a timewaster) and those who... well... if they haven't read/understood the profile they're wasting everyone's time, whether she's pro or not.

 

[reqq1]

unfortunately i have been trying to get into the sub lifestyle for 5 months now and it seems like all that ever respond are financial doms that demand tribute of $150 to $350 and still won't meet. i now have come to the conclusion that there are no or very very few real fem doms that are real. this is what i have figured out from the few sites i have been in. but i am still hunting for a real one and hope i find one.  

[ey****]

  11 hours ago, reqq1 said:

unfortunately i have been trying to get into the sub lifestyle for 5 months now and it seems like all that ever respond are financial doms that demand tribute of $150 to $350 and still won't meet. i now have come to the conclusion that there are no or very very few real fem doms that are real. this is what i have figured out from the few sites i have been in. but i am still hunting for a real one and hope i find one.  

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The problem you've fallen into is common and simple

pretty much all sites are loosely the same in the sense that most women/Dommes are put off by guys who blatantly mass message, who fantasy push, or provide shopping lists of kink - who put fetish first and show little interest of the actual woman and more interest in the fetish/fantasy

Some sites do have issues with scammers, some sites are more tolerant than others with those who sell.    The scammers will reply.  Those who sell will reply. And so it will be that yes, these are the only people who would reply - because you've offered nothing for the people you're trying to attract.

 

[Gr****]

  On 1/3/2025 at 4:59 PM, reqq1 said:

unfortunately i have been trying to get into the sub lifestyle for 5 months now and it seems like all that ever respond are financial doms that demand tribute of $150 to $350 and still won't meet. i now have come to the conclusion that there are no or very very few real fem doms that are real. this is what i have figured out from the few sites i have been in. but i am still hunting for a real one and hope i find one.  

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I've noticed that people who are active with their local kink community don't tend to complain about scamming and tribute.

According to a certain kinky social networking website, as of this writing there are 12 events coming up in your area. You may want to consider munches, vendor fairs, classes, workshops, campouts, lectures, sensation tastings, and similar events at which you can meet people, get introduced to other people, and perhaps eventually make a connection.

Indeed, one of the bigger kink events on the West Coast is happening in your state in April: KinkFest in Portland, Oregon. This could be a great time to get out from behind your keyboard and meet the community you've been reading about.

 

[SparkleGem]

I've been offered tributes for my time and response in speaking with potential subs. It's never required but it's always noticed and usually gets a priority response from me. 

[al****]

I’m lookin’ for women of passion, in the bdsm, fetish and kinky subculture, not domme, mistress that I must pay. Not at all.

[Scarlettlips]

It depends. Some do and some don't. Many of the real life Fin Doms I know have a vetting process to see if your worth our time to get to know. Many people think it's just a one time pay situation. Others it's a long term situationship.