Buying equipment

[Symshark]

Hello people thanks for reading I’m new to this well I’ve never got to meet a mistress yet but had lengthy chats online it’s cost a lot I now turn down any thst want a tribute before meeting but most of them now are asking me to buy kits if they insist on me getting them from a place I turn them down but my current lady is just telling me what to buy and I can get any ware is this normal as she will not meet up before or in a normal way only meeting will be in a training session nothing Vanilla any advice would be helpfull

[ey****]

Believe it or not the "buying equipment" is another scam - you might kinda think (as some do) "Hey, if this goes nowhere I'll at least have a collar/buttplug/whatever" - but the thing that goes nowhere is the payment as the shop doesn't exist.

So, what is 'normal'

Pro-Dommes will want a tribute for their time and *most* require a deposit usually either a flat amount (say, £50) or a percentage (usually 50% of what would be the whole tribute) : whilst some get very wary of this - this then becomes on *you* to research who you are meeting for play.

OK

Most other ladies, nope, no tribute - but - also they are *generally* unlikely to be interested in a stranger who pops into their inbox asking for training.  Training is very much linked more to the Pro side.

If you otherwise want to learn, this is something you can do through your own research

[TemptressM]

There are some who do not expect payment or tribute,  we are just harder to win over.  We want to take time and get to know the potential people that we will end up playing with. 

As far as having to buy things,  I do not understand the need.  With my two real life subs we get things as we need them,  My online subs they will tell me when they want to buy something for themselves, whether its toys or clothes,  they ask my opinion and I give it, or I might find something that is better suited for them.  They purchase the items themselves from a reputable company (amazon, Uber kinky).  

You have to make sure that you are being careful that you are not handing over any personal details when doing things like this. 

At the end of the day if its a kink for you then go ahead but please tread carefully. 

[cautiousswitch]

The one who is telling you what to buy but saying that you can buy it anywhere may be legit.  For cleanliness purposes it is sometimes better for each sub to have their own set of toys.  Not all pro D's do it this way but with the virus going around it may become a more common thing.

Along those same lines, there may be some who have a preferred brand of equipment.  Again, as long as you have the choice of where you buy it from this isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It also really shouldn't be an absolute either.  Sometimes subs see something they want and a dom/me shouldn't get too upset if they buy it and hope for it to be used on them as long as it is nothing unreasonable.

Them insisting that you get it from a specific store does sound like a scam of some sort.  If they wanted to go to their favourite store with you to buy your gear it would be one thing, if they insist you purchase from a specific site then it sounds a little too scammish.