Starting out, from vanilla to now.

[Ca****]

Recently I have been conversing with an ex girlfriend(the only girl I did not share a kinky relationship with) and she had mentioned to me the the trial and error of finding a suitable partner. From blind dates to picking up men/women at a bar she just hasn't found a partner that she has yet to click with. I too began to regale about my missed connections, and began to think about how I transitioned from what I considered a normal guy to being a Dom and training my potential forever submissive.

Following this topic of conversation I began to think back to when I had first started really identifying myself as a Dom, and trying to seek out women that enjoyed or sought after similar experiences. The one instance that came to my mind was a girl I had previously gone to high school with, who had made an obscure craigslist ad asking for an experienced person to teach her the ins and outs of beginners bondage and kink. Back then I would never have considered myself to be experienced, but I assumed if I offered my services that the idea of being taught by someone she relatively knew would be safer and easier than to invite a stranger. I remember responding to the ad, telling her who I was and what exactly was the nature of her inquiry. Long story short we ended up sharing an apartment for almost a year and bonded over our shared interests in bdsm and kinks.

I'll sometimes think back to that experience and I am glad that I had been confident enough to try and start a relationship under the circumstances. I am in no way shape or form an expert in bondage or any other types of fetishes now, but the experiences I gained over the past several years have shaped me into the type of person who I consider a worthwhile Dom.

I would love to hear from the other good people of this community on what your experiences were like starting out.

Edited May 29, 2020 by FETMOD-TF
Formatting/and or spelling adjustments

[ey****]

For me a lot depends on where you call a relationship 'kinky' - I'd certainly raised my two main fetishes (foot fetish / splosh) with every romantic partner I've had.   Most accepted to embraced the foot fetish.  

Most at least tried splosh - it wasn't for most of them (apart from my ex-wife, we ran a store for a while) 

So, it'd always been something I brought up in relationships rather than sought relationships with them in.

Of course it was the current relationship where a lot kinda happened.... I don't know where to start there.   It's not D/s. We're both switches and both kinky and both have/had other relationships or play to different degrees.   A lot of this just came from being in a local community and how things played out.

[Leisa]

I’m not a dominant so have no point of reference on being one. What I do know is that my journey started years ago when I went out on a date with a dominant that turned into a three year relationship. We wanted different things so parted and I can still call him friend. I went on to another relationship before settling into a vanilla relationship that lasted many years longer than it should have. If you can get this girl to try the journey with you it may be the reason neither of you have been able to find the right fit. Best of luck in finding yours. It took me years of doing the wrong direction to finally find my way home again.