Never messaged

[Lombardo43]

As a man on this site I try messaging quite a bit to converse with what I thought were like minded women but I suppose I'm finding there isn't many like minded individuals as we're all unique. Fetishes are just too vast in range that either knowone figures my profile of any interest, i'm too old, profiles too vanilla for most women or maybe I say to much on profile when some say hardly anything. Need a nudge really on how I can get any women to message and have at least a few chats. With more time at home these days, chats may be a good form of entertaining myself until we can get out there again in the real world.

[Orrin4MssKate]

I find that it’s hard to get women to respond. That one reason I have had only Masters. No Mistresses. Except for lady Janet. But she was a transgender. So depending on one prospective she could count either way.

[Deleted Member]

I’ve had a read and don’t see any issues with your profile information on a whole. What I would say is a 1 star message rating could deter women from initiating contact based on preconceived ideas of the conversation genre. Finally, you’re relatively new and patience is key.

[Dreamaway]

Just keep trying Lombardo, I find an amusing comment, observation or just a plain "You look gorgeous" can elicit a response. Although I have to be realistic in my outlook as to who I'm messaging as to whether there is serious intent for anything further. But the diversity on here amuses and entertains me greatly, as a society we tend to frown on the alternative or different so a platform that encourages people who would otherwise remain hidden from me to openly interact is to be enjoyed. If I make a connection; well that's a bonus...good luck .

[Mo****]

Mate I have not viewed your profile, so I can only say how I find things here.  It makes no matter whether they may be attached or not, and if they are, then there are no expectations other than chatting and being very respectful.  I find that making interesting comments on photos elicits a response a lot of the time, and from that, it leaves the door open for a chat.  I also find that by contributing in the Forum, with very measured responses, builds respect from others.

What I get a lot of, is messages from those that are simply too far away to consider, especially during the COVID times.  For these, if I suspect that they are not what they seem, then they get the 'not interested' reply, and for the others, I try to build friendships.  From those friendships perhaps a relationship will eventuate. 

[Deleted Member]

I understand you want to chat, but I suspect there are more men on here than usual and more messages sent to women. I know I am getting more during lockdown. Also, your profile is all about sex. I know this is a kinky site, but if you start a conversation with sex, most women will not be interested. Person first, kinkster second.

[Leisa]

Have you tried going into the lobby and conversing? Their are lots of real people in there everyday. You May or may not meet your match in there but you’d end up making friends and friendship is worth its weight in gold.

[Ki****]

Are you looking for women just to chat to and generally make friends, or are you looking for women to message you for a relationship of some kind? I tend to respond to guys that are generally looking for friendship with chat about kinks. I get a lot of messages from guys immediately launching into explicit content without checking my boundaries, or sending me unsolicited photos. I'm guessing I'm not the only woman with this struggle and if they are having this issue then they may be like me and very hesitant to open communication with guys.

[Deleted Member]

Like Kitty said female subs like myself get tons of messages, and something like "hey sexy" or anything kink related I immediately no thanks, but if they open with a nice comment or something general I'm more open to responding. The general chat is a great way to meet people for friendship and if ive seen someone in the general chat a few times and they ask to pm i am way more likely to gladly talk to them, in fact I've messaged people first from there I get a really good feeling from so it could be a great way to make friends and more than friends.

[TemptressM]

I had a quick look at your profile and although very detailed it actually doesn't say anything about you out with being a Dom. 

yes this is a Kink site but its so much more than just BDSM.  I of course do not know what you are messaging, but maybe as Leisa stated try the chat room out and look at it as making friends first, you never know what will happen.

[Si****]

I took a look at your profile, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to put the Kink on the back seat and put yourself as a person in the front row for a try. When things get moving on the munch side of things, get yourself to one (or a few). Until then, pop into the chat and make friends, follow the rules and have some fun. Loads of really great people in there and many are regular so it wont take long to make some online friends.

[Deleted Member]

Lots of great advice, are you not going to reply Lombardo??

[Deleted Member]

As lots of people have mentioned, you need to get yourself out there so that people can find out about what you are like outside of your profile.

Doms are not some special breed of super-men and its really tempting to come over as someone who knows everything about everything in messages. You may  think that you've crafted the perfect message and then got no response, but that is just part of getting an understanding of how to make you stand out from the usual message that come sub's way on a daily basis. 

[Ko****]

I agree. I am new here as well and my profile needs an update too. I had unpleasant experience with scammers and . Maybe I come across to aggressive. What certainty helps is to add something personal. Who are you ?What is special about you ? I will use your topic to have a good thought to update my profile. And hopefully attract the right play partner.

[Si****]

6 minutes ago, Kosmonaut76 said:

I agree. I am new here as well and my profile needs an update too. I had unpleasant experience with scammers and . Maybe I come across to aggressive. What certainty helps is to add something personal. Who are you ?What is special about you ? I will use your topic to have a good thought to update my profile. And hopefully attract the right play partner.

It can be hard to find the right Balance between being too open with personal stuff with complete strangers and holding back so they still have something to discover about you. 

[Ko****]

Thanks. I will update my profile.

[Lombardo43]

Yes thanks all for advice. I'll have a look at my profile and think about changing stuff on it but not sure what yet. As for munches going on my own is just not for me but would go with someone to lean on a bit and have a bit more fun with it. In fact, I would probably look forward to something like that. Maybe it says a lot about me , hard to get to know if I'm not out there but I do like messaging/chats. Messaging is also tough as if I see someone of interest and send an intro chat I usually get the 'notification' and 'sorry you don't match criterior. It's like fishing and you have to throw the line a thousand times to get a bite.Hard work but I'll keep trying as I think I'm good company with no baggage so worth it for the spasmodic good experiences that do come.

[Ce****]

Don’t normally comment on topics but thought I add something. I’m a single guy and went to my first munch in January. Was very nervous and wasn’t sure what to expect, especially since I was by myself. Everyone was so welcoming and were easy to chat to. I would recommend going,

[Lombardo43]

Thank you for last massage.I should just go to one.

[Mo****]

8 hours ago, Lombardo43 said:

Yes thanks all for advice. I'll have a look at my profile and think about changing stuff on it but not sure what yet. As for munches going on my own is just not for me but would go with someone to lean on a bit and have a bit more fun with it. In fact, I would probably look forward to something like that. Maybe it says a lot about me , hard to get to know if I'm not out there but I do like messaging/chats. Messaging is also tough as if I see someone of interest and send an intro chat I usually get the 'notification' and 'sorry you don't match criterior. It's like fishing and you have to throw the line a thousand times to get a bite.Hard work but I'll keep trying as I think I'm good company with no baggage so worth it for the spasmodic good experiences that do come.

Mate what you need to remember, and it's the same for subs seeking a dominant, you have to keep going, and there will be many false starts.  Don't become disillusioned.  If there are some that take your interest and their filters prevent messages, then leave a comment on their wall saying you find them interesting and would like to get to know them.

Lombardo, the other thing to remember is this, We are all special in our own way and that people need to have an open mind in order for them to see just how special we may be.  If they don't want to chat and get to know, then that is their problem.  They are the ones that miss out.

[ey****]

"Like minded" is one of my hated phrases.    A friend put it recently, when responding to a guy looking for "like minded women", "How do I know if we're like-minded if you won't tell me what's on your mind?"

Often what we'll find is all a lot of us have in common is 'kink' and kink, in general, is quite a broad spectrum.

 

[Deleted Member]

19 hours ago, Lombardo43 said:

Thank you for last massage.I should just go to one.

The people who run munches are in my experience - really keen to welcome newbies. They will meet you out front etc.

[Lombardo43]

Thanks curvykate.tried to thank you in a message but you must have certain criteria. I always wonder what restrictions you put in?