Munch Notes/Agenda - The Drop - 2nd July 2020

[Th****]

Today’s discussion is on Drop. Drop is primarily referring to a sub drop, but we will look at Dom/mes drop.

 

Why do you think drop is less reported in Doms/mes?

 

·         Do Tops rarely get as high as bottoms do during a scene and are less likely to experience a crash?

·         Do you think some D-types are less likely to discuss vulnerability openly?

·         Are D-types more likely to be in control of their faculties during play?

·         Do you think that D-types experience a more energy-based adrenaline high than an emotional, endorphin high?

 

When do symptoms generally occur?

The symptoms of a drop will set in within 72 hours after a scene.

 

What symptoms have you experienced?

 

·         What about difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions?

 

·         What about fatigue and decreased energy?

 

·         What feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or ***ness?

 

·         What about feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism?

 

·         Insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping

 

·         Irritability, restlessness

 

·         Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

 

·         Overeating or appetite loss

 

·         Persistent aches or ***s, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.

 

·         Have you ever known an extreme case of crash, even collapse?

 

·         There are those sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings?

 

·         Thoughts of ***, *** attempts?

 

The bottom line is ‘What goes up must come down.’

 

If symptoms do not clear up within seven days seek appropriate professional health.

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 Tips for Treatment

 

Several known techniques limit, mitigate, and even eliminate a drop.

 

How do you all deal with drop when you get it?

 

·         Vitamin B and Fish Oil If you plan on having some heavy play sessions soon, start taking some extra vitamin B and Fish Oil supplements a few days before the scene and for a few days after. This will help replace many of the minerals that will be lost from your adrenaline and endorphin highs to decrease the potential for drop and mitigate its effects.

 

·         Food and Drink Ensure you have eaten and hydrated properly before a scene. Intoxicants will work against hydration.

 

·         Gradual Scene Build Up and Decline Drop is far less likely to occur with gradual scene build up, gradual scene decline, and extensive, intimate aftercare. Although not possible in every situation the aim is to lessen the curve after play.

 

·         Eat Chocolate Eating chocolate during aftercare as Oxytocin release can mitigate and ward off the effects of drop. Along with Ginseng, nuts and seeds, strawberries and oranges, *** protein, and gs cause the release of endorphins.

 

·         Contact the person you played with or the person who provided you aftercare if you experience drop. Talk on the phone, meet for coffee, or curl up and watch a movie. Much of drop is an emotional experience and not just because of hormone imbalance. If you do not have someone to reach out to make some kinky friends who you can call and who can call you during experiences of drop.

 

·         Pampering a bathrobe, some chocolate, a hot bath with candles, a good book and some general relaxation time can work wonders for curing drop for many people.

 

·         Vitamin D either in supplement form or through sunshine.

 

·         Mild Exercise such as a light jog, yoga, aerobics and similar can help release endorphins if you have any left in your body which will help mitigate the experience of drop.

 

·         Get Busy Do a task to distract yourself, preferably a productive one, something simple and easy like making the bed or doing the dishes. It helps distract from any repetitive thoughts and helps to put yourself back on the path to normality.

 

·       Journaling write your feelings out until you run out of them. Sometimes it can help to organise your thoughts on paper.

 

·         It goes away if all the other techniques are not working, at least keep in mind the negative feelings will pass, usually within a few hours to a day. This will make it seem like a waiting game, but it is better than focusing on and feeding the misery. If you are experiencing severe emotional issues consider if you are not experiencing paraphilic drop, or if you might otherwise benefit from couning or having your hormone levels audited to ensure their normalcy.

 

Using these tips and methods of treatment, you can prepare a drop kit. Items that will help you if you drop already gathered up and, in a box. Just having it there may cause you a degree of reassurance and that alone may also reduce the chance of dropping.

 

Does anyone have a drop kit and what is in it?

 

Drop box kit:

·       A warm/fuzzy blanket

·       A bathrobe

·       Chocolate

·       Favourite tea or drink.

·       Candles, bath bombs, scented soap

·       Music

·       A good book/audio recording of your partner’s voice

 

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Paraphilic (D-type) Drop

 

There is an additional kind of post-scene drop, sometimes called “the guilts” which is a form of paraphilia. Paraphilia is not consistent with endorphin crashes, but it can be made worse if the two occur at the same time.

 

How do you reconcile what happens in a scene with the way you behave in your normal space?       If it is not a problem for you why do you think that is?

 

·         If you are not harming others (this does not include consensual hurting) then there is no good reason to be ashamed of who you are and what you like.

 

·         Feeling bad afterwards is likely to spoil the experience overall for you.

 

·         If you are having trouble reconciling ethics, morality, religion, and other concerns with your kink practices consider seeking a professional that is kink friendly to help you work through your concerns. It is important to ensure they are kink friendly.

 

·         Try to focus on the pleasure you bring rather than the way that you bring it

 

·         If it is caused by something wrong during the scene then you need to reconcile this through communication. If that is not possible then you need to take lessons from it and move forward. Repeatedly beating yourself up gains nothing.

 

·         Remember good aftercare will help the Dominant just as much as the submissive.

 

[Th****]

These are just the full notes if anyone is interested or would like a slightly more detailed read.

[Deleted Member]

This is a very important but still very underrated topic. Thank you for bringing this up!

[Deleted Member]

@Thebian I fell asleep and missed it, I will be reviewing later but if you have a more detailed recap I would love to read please.

[Deleted Member]

14 hours ago, Thebian said:

These are just the full notes if anyone is interested or would like a slightly more detailed read.

Really helpful thank you @Thebian and @Leisa

[ol****]

I have a concern of sorts. Many of the described symptoms can occur for a number of reasons. In particular the mental symptoms. If you escaped into a scene then everything you temporarily blocked out might just come crashing back. The physical symptoms can in many cases be indicative of GI problems. Since many GI problems can occur episodically it would be unwise to automatically associate them with the drop. Good advice is given about consulting a medical professional.

[Th****]

2 hours ago, oldfellow said:

Many of the described symptoms can occur for a number of reasons. In particular the mental symptoms. If you escaped into a scene then everything you temporarily blocked out might just come crashing back. The physical symptoms can in many cases be indicative of GI problems. Since many GI problems can occur episodically it would be unwise to automatically associate them with the drop.

You are absolutely right, like many things the symptoms are generalised and akin to symptoms associated with many other problems and disorders.

In fact 7 days may be a bit too long to wait as most drop should have reconciled by then. 

One of the things we did not really cover was the effect of a trigger being hit during play that can of course cause severe psychological issues if you are unable to process it effectively.

Always better safe than sorry when it comes to professional help, no matter how good us Dom/mes are we are no replacement for a Medical Professional.

[Bo****]

Thank you all so much🙏

These wise insights are shared with such care n emotional intelligence. Mutual holistic intent : AweAwesome......

[Vandalslut]

At the request of @Thebian:

Dopamine motivates us to take action toward goals, desires, and needs, and gives a surge of reinforcing pleasure when achieving them. Procrastination, self-doubt, and lack of enthusiasm are linked with low levels of dopamine. So set a small goal - maybe go for a walk and go further than you usually walk; shop at a new store; tackle your 'stuff to do' pile..pick a goal and achieve it.

Serotonin flows when you feel significant or important. Loneliness and depression appears when serotonin is absent. If you need a serotonin boost, take a few moments to reflect on past achievements and victories. Have lunch or coffee outside and expose yourself to the sun for 20 minutes; our skin absorbs UV rays, which promotes vitamin D and serotonin production.

Oxytocin creates intimacy, trust, and builds healthy relationships. It's released by men and women during orgasm. Often referred to as the cuddle hormone, a simple way to keep oxytocin flowing is to give someone a hug. When someone receives a gift, their oxytocin levels can rise. Give yourself a gift of time, a restaurant dinner, a bunch of flowers for your home...

Endorphins are released in response to *** and stress and help to alleviate anxiety and depression. Along with regular exercise, laughter is one of the easiest ways to induce endorphin release. The smell of vanilla and lavender has been linked with the production of endorphins. Studies have shown that dark chocolate and spicy foods can lead the brain to release endorphins.  Put on a funny DVD and have a wadge of dark chocolate, or burn lavender or vanilla incense.

[ol****]

Good description of the underlying chemistry @Vandalslut

[Vandalslut]

Thank you - and now we know why roses and chocs are big winners on Valentine's Day....

[Deleted Member]

Suuuuper informative. I had no idea that drops could potentially affect both ends of the spectrum. Thank you for this!

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for the post, @Thebian, very informative