Safety IS Sexy

January 8, 2018

One of the first things I learnt when I became part of the kink scene was how important safety is. And how keeping safe is very, very sexy indeed!

What are your tips for safe kink?

January 8, 2018

Communication even more vital in ds than vanilla

January 12, 2018

Learning your own limits, your partner might exceed these, but knowing your own first helps...knowing them helps you manage what you need to learn and practice safety for practical play and learning more about aftercare for physical and emotional safety.

You need to be able to listen instead of hearing, actively observe instead of seeing, talk to each other rather talk at each other...I've made my mistakes and learned, I have no intention of repeating them... be on the same page and reading at the same pace...slow down or stop when in doubt...

January 12, 2018

Excellent advice @PatientTraveller!

January 12, 2018

I was introduced to a simple concept that considers confidence and competence which can be applied to BDSM and many aspects of life.

When competence is in balance or exceeds confidence then your able to act with safety and a healthy sense of wellbeing.

When confidence exceeds competence, this is where problems emerge, as belief in your actions is not aligned with what your capable of and unwanted mistakes are made.

This is where safety within BDSM or other parts of life, required communication and feed-back, with partners and with yourself, similar to a continuous development process, frequent evaluation helps in building competence in what your doing and managing the confidence level to match.

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Dom(me)s just need to be able to face themselves and take a step back with confidence and evaluate themselves and their actions.

subs need to give Dom(me) the time and space to do this, it may lead to a disappointing play session, yet it is for the sub's well being...it is not about confidence, it is about ensuring competence meets expectations...some activities need to be practiced in progressive steps.

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This where BDSM can appear boring or slow, but practice leads to perfection, playing with something dangerous is exciting when you have *** of the activity...*** in the Dom(me)'s ability isn't fun.

This is where honesty and trust are built, where partners communicate and respect each other to know that slowly down or stopping; practicing and preparing are for the benefit of the relationship as a whole.