Skin0Man Posted August 3, 2020 Posted August 3, 2020 Sup all! I'm a gay man from the UK! So, straight to it! I have a profile committed to foot fetish content, my main kink, and I've recently been talking to a guy about meeting up. He is very dominant, declares himself a sadist and has been talking about Mental Bondage. I can only find so much about it and I'm sure this is down to each individual's preferences. I was wondering if YOU had a story you would like to share about mental bondage? I am aware of Sadism and what that entails. We've talked about doing it, not seriously just yet as he lives a bit far from me and I don't drive just yet. He knows I'm not into *** which is fine but I'm just very curious about the mental side of it. Have you found that being a sub during a session with mental bondage involved affected your mental health? Were you the sub or the dom? Did it help? Did it make you feel like utter garbage even after the session had finished? Any replies/tips/stories would be amazing!
Jinxy Posted August 4, 2020 Posted August 4, 2020 Hi! You might get more responses addressing this in the main BDSM forum. I don’t know much about this topic myself so perhaps time for me to delve into some more research! Only thing I can say about this is that any time you play with mental aspects in BDSM (Or any other aspect), there’s the chance for the drop afterwords. I would recommend doing some research on sub drop and then developing an aftercare plan/materials for yourself in the event it happens. Additionally, make sure you address with your partner what sort of aftercare expectations you have from them (especially important if you’re doing any sort of long distance/over the phone play). And as always, discuss limits and consent before play so your partner knows your boundaries. Might be best for something like this to do just a bit at a time to see how you handle it and any after effects.
Foxter Posted August 7, 2020 Posted August 7, 2020 Metal bondage is a bit of a umbrella term. It could mean leading you on, manipulation, gaslighting and even blackmail. Which as been described as the highest form of bondage possible. I have been involved in these kinks from the dom side. I was with a very experienced submissive who I had know for a long time, so we both knew and trusted each other a lot. I would say mental domination is what I would call a high end kink. Something I wouldn't reccomend it to new couples or beginners. It can be a little messy, you really have to know the person very well if you want to play with their mind. Otherwise its just gonna sound like insults and they don't know what their talking about. Me and my ex sub didn't do aftercare, she didn't need it and I was okay with that. (For anyone who's gonna grill me on that, I never deny aftercare, it was her choice) But by far the majority of subs and even doms it is a must thing to have aftercare, to sit down, cuddle, unwind and talk about what they liked, didn't like and how they maybe want to try and progress. And more importantly, just hoe you nothing feel. Which I would recommended after something like metal bondage. Has this man elaborated on what he means by mental bondage? Because that's definitely important to have a full idea of how he pictures this fantasy going. And like Jinxy said, just make sure you you have your likes, your limits and safe word.
Skin0Man Posted August 28, 2020 Author Posted August 28, 2020 On 8/4/2020 at 4:42 PM, Jinxy said: Hi! You might get more responses addressing this in the main BDSM forum. I don’t know much about this topic myself so perhaps time for me to delve into some more research! Only thing I can say about this is that any time you play with mental aspects in BDSM (Or any other aspect), there’s the chance for the drop afterwords. I would recommend doing some research on sub drop and then developing an aftercare plan/materials for yourself in the event it happens. Additionally, make sure you address with your partner what sort of aftercare expectations you have from them (especially important if you’re doing any sort of long distance/over the phone play). And as always, discuss limits and consent before play so your partner knows your boundaries. Might be best for something like this to do just a bit at a time to see how you handle it and any after effects. Hey, thanks for reply! Really appreciate it! Can I ask what you mean by the 'sub drop'. Do you mean like a heavy feeling of sadness/shame afterwards? This is something I have spoken to this guy with and he has mentioned aftercare of sorts. I should reiterate that I'm doing this with someone I haven't met yet but who I talk to regularly both in a kink and non-kink space. I understand that this type of thing is 'usually' done with long term partners because of the trust side of it.
Skin0Man Posted August 28, 2020 Author Posted August 28, 2020 On 8/7/2020 at 1:24 PM, Foxter said: Metal bondage is a bit of a umbrella term. It could mean leading you on, manipulation, gaslighting and even blackmail. Which as been described as the highest form of bondage possible. I have been involved in these kinks from the dom side. I was with a very experienced submissive who I had know for a long time, so we both knew and trusted each other a lot. I would say mental domination is what I would call a high end kink. Something I wouldn't reccomend it to new couples or beginners. It can be a little messy, you really have to know the person very well if you want to play with their mind. Otherwise its just gonna sound like insults and they don't know what their talking about. Me and my ex sub didn't do aftercare, she didn't need it and I was okay with that. (For anyone who's gonna grill me on that, I never deny aftercare, it was her choice) But by far the majority of subs and even doms it is a must thing to have aftercare, to sit down, cuddle, unwind and talk about what they liked, didn't like and how they maybe want to try and progress. And more importantly, just hoe you nothing feel. Which I would recommended after something like metal bondage. Has this man elaborated on what he means by mental bondage? Because that's definitely important to have a full idea of how he pictures this fantasy going. And like Jinxy said, just make sure you you have your likes, your limits and safe word. Blackmail, manipulation isn't part of the agenda from what we've discussed. As a brief overview, some of the things we've discussed are tickling, ***, potentially stress positions. I am new to this though I am sexually experienced in other things. He is quite experienced with what he does so I can say I trust him with what he's done. He knows what I like and he also knows that there's a small part of me that perhaps indulges in the idea of 'being broken' to an extent of course. It's quite a lot to type but I suppose generally I was wondering if something like this would have a long term impact on ones general mental health.
ol**** Posted August 28, 2020 Posted August 28, 2020 You need to be very careful IMHO. There is a world of difference be*** a degree of power exchange and what I think you might be talking about. I would read up on modern *** techniques and ensure that those are not part of the proposed agenda.
Th**** Posted August 29, 2020 Posted August 29, 2020 Just to lighten this a little after all the stark and dire warnings. Very sensible though they were. Let me give you some very specific examples of harmless mental bondage. If a Dominant can give an instruction backed up with that "That Voice" and "That Look". It has an impact. So should they instruct their submissive to place their hands behind their head and hold that position, there is every chance that if their submissive is a suitable match that they will follow those instructions. Reminders will be needed but basically the only thing that keeps their subs hands behind their head is a will to not disappoint. This means there are no cuffs on their wrists and the only bondage that is used is mental. It is not in this case abusive, or manipulative, any more than being told to kneel is. Which is also mental bondage on another level. It is far more simple instead of being bound by physical items you submit that movement to your Dominant. Just ensure that you are consenting in advance to the level of mental bondage in use.
Skin0Man Posted September 2, 2020 Author Posted September 2, 2020 On 8/28/2020 at 3:12 PM, oldfellow said: You need to be very careful IMHO. There is a world of difference be*** a degree of power exchange and what I think you might be talking about. I would read up on modern *** techniques and ensure that those are not part of the proposed agenda. May I ask what IMHO stands for? I'm new to the lingo haha. I did have a look at modern *** techniques and there is nothing I read that comes close to the things that have been discussed. I can breathe now hahaha
Skin0Man Posted September 2, 2020 Author Posted September 2, 2020 On 8/29/2020 at 4:15 AM, Thebian said: Just to lighten this a little after all the stark and dire warnings. Very sensible though they were. Let me give you some very specific examples of harmless mental bondage. If a Dominant can give an instruction backed up with that "That Voice" and "That Look". It has an impact. So should they instruct their submissive to place their hands behind their head and hold that position, there is every chance that if their submissive is a suitable match that they will follow those instructions. Reminders will be needed but basically the only thing that keeps their subs hands behind their head is a will to not disappoint. This means there are no cuffs on their wrists and the only bondage that is used is mental. It is not in this case abusive, or manipulative, any more than being told to kneel is. Which is also mental bondage on another level. It is far more simple instead of being bound by physical items you submit that movement to your Dominant. Just ensure that you are consenting in advance to the level of mental bondage in use. Thank you for this! I know being specific with these things can be difficult but this really does help.
ol**** Posted September 2, 2020 Posted September 2, 2020 5 hours ago, Skin0Man said: May I ask what IMHO stands for? I'm new to the lingo haha. I did have a look at modern *** techniques and there is nothing I read that comes close to the things that have been discussed. I can breathe now hahaha IMHO - in my humble opinuon.
Wo**** Posted September 2, 2020 Posted September 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, oldfellow said: IMHO - in my humble opinuon. Is it? I always thought it meant in my honest opinion... yours makes more sense.
Wo**** Posted September 2, 2020 Posted September 2, 2020 Sub drop... It differs for everyone but it's a kinda "down" feeling after a play session. It can be anything from minutes to days afterwards. Fairly common, and normal.
ol**** Posted September 2, 2020 Posted September 2, 2020 24 minutes ago, Bounty said: Is it? I always thought it meant in my honest opinion... yours makes more sense. As a Dom I have no need for ego so my opinions are offered humbly. I think that if invited to offer an opinion, as we are in forums, then we need to do it wirh a degree of humility. The opinion does not have to be accepted or even acknowledged.
ol**** Posted September 2, 2020 Posted September 2, 2020 25 minutes ago, Bounty said: Sub drop... It differs for everyone but it's a kinda "down" feeling after a play session. It can be anything from minutes to days afterwards. Fairly common, and normal. ... and so important to understand.
Wo**** Posted September 2, 2020 Posted September 2, 2020 3 minutes ago, oldfellow said: ... and so important to understand. As is aftercare.
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