Trans experience in BDSM. (Need help)

September 15, 2020

For the last 5 years I have halted my transition of being female to male so I could give all the straight Masters I've served what they wanted; a girl. I am currently doing this and have been told things like, "I will keep you around until I find someone else" or "I will have you serve me until you start hormones." I understand that my Masters were straight and they don't want a male sub obviously, but these still hurt to hear.

My sense of worth is dictated by what my Master says and thinks of me and I don't know what I should do. I feel like if I fully transition, I will have to give up BDSM. I have never met a gay or bi Master. I wonder if there is a life for me..serving a Master who is okay with me being trans. Are these types out there?

Edited September 15, 2020 by Ksub94
Typo

September 16, 2020

I feel for you and that you had to put being your true self on hold for the preferences of others. Don't give up. There are so many people out there. With the right partner who is open and understanding, you can still be into your kinks AND transition.

September 16, 2020

Unfortunately for you, you encountered some asshats with little sensitivity. There are ways and means of indicating that you are not interested in someone and I always think it does not hurt to be kind/considerate.

I think you need to work on yourself a little, your self-worth should not be determined or dictated by others. You are a valued human being !!

Easy said than done right?

I think you catastrophizing,reasonably so as well with your recent experiences. There are Masters - gay, straight or bi who will like you for you. Regardless of whether you fully transition or not.

I think the starting point is to build/rebuild your inner confidence as this will give you the platform to welcome others into your life.

September 16, 2020

I think it's incredibly shitty of someone to hold you back transitioning

There are lots of gay and bi masters out there (I'm told a large/growing community on Twitter - even in the US) . Though particularly gay Masters tend to be more around the gay scene than the fetish scene for a lot of reasons.

Personally/hypothetically speaking - I'm straight but would take on a male sub (regardless of if they are cis or trans) providing of course it was within both of our boundaries - so I imagine there'll be others like me.

September 16, 2020

The only useful advice I can offer is to be true to yourself. I will admit I am uncertain if being sub makes this harder to do.

September 17, 2020

Hi , you seem to have encountered some insensitive idiots. Doms or Dommes who take their role seriously will be looking to nurture and develop you not make you feel bad.
I know a guy who transitioned to fem in her late 60s and had a master who helped and supported during the transition. In her case he looked after her as a guy moving to gem. Don’t give up hope but possibly look for a new master. There definitely are both gay and bi masters out there.
All best luck

September 18, 2020

I have someone I care about in the same position as you. it’s easy to say there are gay Dom’s out there but to be realistic there are far more male subs already male and with working parts there are far more strait Masters after female subs, you have to decide what is more important in your life. it’s easy to say a good Dom /Master should accept you as you want to be but have they offered to take you on. Would you rather be a Big Fish in a very small pool or a tiny fish in the ocean the only way I have seen it work is in a dominant role. The crux of the problem is that Dom’s / Masters are humans and have an ideal of what they want just like you and me . Your choice is to transition and risk never finding the right Master or continue as you are trying to find someone who will accept your transition. Thinking back would you have been happier if you had transitioned and then spent 5 years looking for a master or had to pay to keep one

September 18, 2020

1 hour ago, foxfun2015 said:

I have someone I care about in the same position as you. it’s easy to say there are gay Dom’s out there but to be realistic there are far more male subs already male and with working parts there are far more strait Masters after female subs, you have to decide what is more important in your life. it’s easy to say a good Dom /Master should accept you as you want to be but have they offered to take you on. Would you rather be a Big Fish in a very small pool or a tiny fish in the ocean the only way I have seen it work is in a dominant role. The crux of the problem is that Dom’s / Masters are humans and have an ideal of what they want just like you and me . Your choice is to transition and risk never finding the right Master or continue as you are trying to find someone who will accept your transition. Thinking back would you have been happier if you had transitioned and then spent 5 years looking for a master or had to pay to keep one

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I think I would not be happy. Being a naturally submissive person, getting purpose from serving and having it be part of my identity..if I transitioned and felt like I lost that..in having to search for so long..I would feel very depressed.