rg404 Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Hey everyone, So I have a straight friend; I find him incredibly beautiful. He kind of treats me like his girlfriend, and I really enjoy it. Lately though, I feel like he treats me almost like a servant/slave. Literally whatever he asks for, I'll provide to him. It doesn't matter if its ***, an errand, or whatever. I always answer his calls/texts, but he doesn't. I'm definitely more busy than he is, an yet i still always answer him. I remember one year he was in the hospital for a minor surgery. I went to the hospital after work, every day. I stayed there the entire night until i had to go to work. I would stay there and monitor him. He never asked for anything either, he demanded. for example, 'go get me orange juice, i'm thirsty.' It was never like, 'hey, do you mind getting my some orange juice'. I really enjoy this relationship/dynamic he and I share. I love worshiping the ground he walks on. I really want to do more though. For example, I would love to massage his feet after work, do his laundry, clean his house, etc. I think the point of this post is two-fold. I love talking about him, but often can't. The second reason for this post is to get a consensus. Is this dynamic unhealthy? Does anyone think this kind of submission - on my part - could lead to self destruction?
Deleted Member Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 I would say yes if he isnt into the kink then these no relationship there other then he treats you as a slave cos you let him and your teaching him to treat other poeple like that which isnt good or fair on him and you will end up being hurt and left behide. Your need to talk to him and be open and truthful in what you and he have together. If you talk and its what he wants to a master and slave relationship can be great as long its what your both into or someone ends up getting hurt. Talking and trust every time. Good luck sweety
saphy Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 You know, my instinct was to say "hell no!" there's a time and a place for *** and for 'using' your s type...but if you identify as a submissive rather than a slave and there's little or no respect shown in either regard then personally, I would say that's an unhealthy environment. Just because He's Dominant - it doesn't give Him the god given right to disrespect you or be dismissive of your needs. Infact, that should be His utmost priority. I'm not saying take everything I say to heart, just guard it I guess. If your asking for concensus from the community, then there's red flags there somewhere in your subconscious. You need to listen to yourself. Wish you well (x)
Tyskiethebear Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Sorry to be firm but it sounds like he is using you! Whatever the dynamic of the relationship there sould always be a recognised respect by all parties. Has he ever told you of his feelings for you? All the best!
Lalady Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 You seem in conflict, you adore him and want to please him. But on the other hand you are left wanting, feeling unloved and yearning for mutual respect . Doesn't seem to be a healthy equation for you. Have you actually conveyed the way you feel?
Li**** Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Even when a relationship involves being used as a slave or being degraded or humiliated at the end of the day there still has to be mutual respect and trust.
xXxjohnxXx-5438 Posted January 25, 2018 Posted January 25, 2018 Yes, get him out of your life and find someone who loves you for the right reasons. John
Shamanta-2442 Posted January 26, 2018 Posted January 26, 2018 Being a slave is not literal. You should be respected and he should not take advantage. Strengthen your boundaries. Put your self first. Love your self first
Carnelian2 Posted January 27, 2018 Posted January 27, 2018 On 26/01/2018 at 6:13 AM, Shamanta said: Being a slave is not literal. You should be respected and he should not take advantage. Strengthen your boundaries. Put your self first. Love your self first That is very true, a D/s relationship may be about adopting certain roles but it is based on consent. To submit takes strength and those who thinks that being submissive is about being weak could not be more wrong. Boundaries needs to be established and respected. The best relationship is one that allows people to grow, regardless of role or label. Communication is key
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