Munch Notes/Agenda - Collars and BDSM Traditions - 23rd September 2020

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23rd Sept. Munch Notes- Collars and BDSM Traditions.

These are the talking points form the Munch on collars. They are being reposted onto the Forum so that everyone carry on making contributions to the discussion as and when they wish. 

Just remember there is no hard and fast way and all opinions are valid on this subject.

Have fun with it, folks.

 

 

1.       Collars have been used to show several things in BDSM, so what have you used collars for? They can mean different things to different people.

 

2.       Now, there are many types of collars What different types can everyone here suggest? I am sure we may well call them different things as well, it will be interesting to compare.

 

 

3.       Traditionally there were three main stages in gaining a collar in the RL scene. (Every dynamic is different and there is no “One true way.”)

A Consideration Collar - A Training Collar - And a Formal Collar.

Are these steps still relevant today?

 

4.       With the rise of online interaction, cyber or virtual collars are becoming far more common. Are these less permanent or are they in fact the same thing in another form?

 

5.       Collars are not just objects though, they can be charged with emotional and intimate feelings. Has anyone experienced such emotions in themselves or others?

 

6.       One of the things that came up in discussion was that the “collar” would not actually need to be a collar as such. That it was an object that was imbued with a meaning that benefited the dynamic. Do you agree? Do we have any examples of this at all?

 

7.       Are collars still looked on as being the BDSM equivalent of rings. In as much as a Training Collar was an engagement ring, a Formal Collar a wedding ring. Or have times changed?

 

8.       What other types of collars do people have and how are they used. I know we use various sorts for different scenarios. Would anyone like to share the collars they have and how they use them?

 

9.       There are many rituals and Traditions that the Old School amongst us may notice changing. Our lifestyle constantly develops to meet the needs of its members. Which traditions are most important to you?

 

10.   Respect is important to both sides of the slash. I think with those who are Old school respect was used about Dom/mes and the same thing was called good manners when a Dom/me was speaking to a sub.

I am not suggesting calling everyone Sir or Ma’am but could better manners improve all our experiences?

 

11.   To be fair, I know a lot of you already have your own unwritten rule books. So how can we best align the Old School and New Wave BDSM harmoniously?  I know when I was new I had to have everything patiently explained.

 

 

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A big thank you to @PixieDust for the following, I take no credit. This was her hard work.

Types of Collars

Main

Consideration Collar – normally used in the first stages of a D/s Dynamic.  It shows the submissive is being considered for long term ownership.  Usually for agreed period of time the collar is worn.    

Training Collar – normally used show submissive/slave is currently being trained by a Dom. Some call it a taster Collar, showing the power the Dominant has over the submissive/slave.

Formal Collar (also known as Slave Collar)  -  The Final Collar – the Collar of Commitment and Acceptance

Variations

Night/Sleep Collar  - traditionally made from soft pliable material that can be worn comfortably whilst sleeping

Daytime Collar  - subtle variations of these are available especially for work wear, for example a chained necklace as opposed to a traditional leather Collar

Play Collar – various types of Collars for purely used for play sessions

Cyber Collar -  pretty much new age train of thought but for those engaged in purely an online D/s – some old guard scoff at the thought

Protection Collar – commonly used in dungeons, to show a submissive/slave is owned and or protected

Posture Collar – commonly used for posture and display

Rings/bracelets – some opt for by passing the Collar and go for something that still shows a form of “Collaring” and or another term used called “yoking” by adorning custom made rings and bracelets.

 

Collaring Ceremonies

Depending on the D/s dynamic and the parties involved, a Collaring ceremony can be something small and intimate between just the “D” and “s” or it can be on a grand scale in front of other like minded kinksters, similar that of Wedding where vows are made, contracts signed and Collars given to the “s”.

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A huge thankyou to you @Thebianfor typing this all up. Your time and effort (as with everyone who gives of their self to bring the munches to our community) is heartily appreciated. 

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point 7

So i recently decided to make a collar for Six.

I haven't started it yet but the image of it has resolved in my head.

Can a collar be jewellery? A "wedding gift"

Can a collar be an SDU?

(slave display unit)

yes...

Im thinking deep stainless steel heavy duty engraved all over in Sumarian cuneiform.

"6.2...I LOVE YOU" set in 18c gold with emeralds for the full stops, carved on the front.

In my head it is stunning....

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Thebian this was a lovely munch, thank you for hosting it.

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28 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

point 7

So i recently decided to make a collar for Six.

I haven't started it yet but the image of it has resolved in my head.

Can a collar be jewellery? A "wedding gift"

Can a collar be an SDU?

(slave display unit)

yes...

Im thinking deep stainless steel heavy duty engraved all over in Sumarian cuneiform.

"6.2...I LOVE YOU" set in 18c gold with emeralds for the full stops, carved on the front.

In my head it is stunning....

 

10 hours ago, Thebian said:

6.       One thing that came up in discussion was that the “collar” would not actually need to be a collar as such. That it was an object that was imbued with a meaning that benefited the dynamic. Do you agree? Do we have any examples of this at all?

I love using the Sumerian cuneiform. As it pre-dates hieroglyphics, it adds the additional touch of that ancient ritual to it. I am sure that you have a deeper reason, though. 

Jewellery can definitely be a collar without doubt. In fact, this is what I call a dress collar. I know others mean something else, but in my head a dress collar is just that.

Absolutely, it can be an SDU, I will paraphrase @BeardedSi here hopefully with some accuracy. "That a collar is not just the object, but it is what works best within that specific dynamic."

I know it will be stunning if made with your gifted hands, my friend. 

[Me****]

37 minutes ago, Thebian said:

I know it will be stunning if made with your gifted hands, my friend

awww nice one thebes, i do try my hardest!

And...no....I just love the way cuneiform looks like the dark voodoo language of witchcraft.

I also love professor Irving Finkel (british museum), he's my favourite "Educator".

His passion for the texts is infectious.

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16 hours ago, METALSIR said:

I also love professor Irving Finkel (british museum), he's my favourite "Educator".

And several hours and many videos later, I can see why Metal. Thank you for pointing him out

[Me****]

7 hours ago, Thebian said:

And several hours and many videos later, I can see why Metal. Thank you for pointing him out

He's awesome isn't he?!