Bruises and marks

[Deleted Member]

How do you cope with bruises and marks left by someone that you treasured but then they tell you you are too much and you just feel physically sick every time you see them? I’d like to erase them. I know they will fade but I can’t bear to look at myself right now. 

[Deleted Member]

Erase that bruise maker and find another.... anyone with that much toxicity needs to fuck right out of your life....

[Deleted Member]

I’m not sure He was toxic, it was me...

[qu****]

No you are not toxic, and it was not you, your desires were taken advantage of, he was happy enough to use you, but by the sound of it had no interest in you the person, if he was truely aware of any problems you have, and cared for you, any "play" would of waited till the time was just right. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think. So young lady, tits out and bum in, stand proud. (That means chin up by the way ☺️)

[Deleted Member]

Thanks but I think he really was nice. He tried to be there for me. I was just too overwhelming.  I did think I warned him about that. It was my first time. I’m just ending an Abusuve . I feel so stupid  

[qu****]

You may have "warned" him, but if he didn't really understand it would have a huge bearing on it. I know it's difficult but all you can do is to move on, learning from this experience, it's all any of us can do, and remember people are there for you, just reach out when you need it the most 🤗🤗🤗

[Deleted Member]

Every time I reach out I misunderstand the kindness of others and end up feeling worse than before 

[qu****]

A feeling I know well, just don't make the mistake I made in giving up on people

[Deleted Member]

I think the bruises and the marks are the least of it for you? What you want, what you need - no-one has the right to say it’s not normal and you’re too much. I’ve heard the same from others, felt the same. Stay here for a little while and you will find that many of us here understand. And will not judge you as you have been judged. You’re not too much.

[Deleted Member]

You don’t seem to have given up on people. You are being kind to me.

 

i am close to giving up.

it reminds me of a Plath quote about wanting so much you are close to wanting nothing at all 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you Kate. I’m just so confused right now. He made me feel so safe. But I am just dealing with the end of an abusive and have probably craved that feeling so long that I wanted it too much.

 

 

[qu****]

Helping others is one thing, accepting contact from others is a totally different matter, but then I've been like that ever since I can remember, so perhaps I'm lucky, having accepting this a long time ago

[Deleted Member]

  2 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I think the bruises and the marks are the least of it for you

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I agree, it seems it's the bruises and marks on the inside that matter more here. Physical heals quickly, those on the inside can take much more time and sadly only time can heal.

[Deleted Member]

Thank Donny. I just feel sick inside 

[Deleted Member]

  4 minutes ago, Messedup79 said:

Thank Donny. I just feel sick inside 

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I know you do, the lead ball in the pit of the gut. It's something most if not all have felt at one time or another. All you can do is take it one day at a time, one foot in front if the other and in time that lead ball will weigh less and less. Nothing anyone says will make a difference with healing, only time does that but it's always nice to know there are others, who do understand. You are not alone 😊

[Deleted Member]

  29 minutes ago, Messedup79 said:

You don’t seem to have given up on people. You are being kind to me.

 

i am close to giving up.

it reminds me of a Plath quote about wanting so much you are close to wanting nothing at all 

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When I felt as you do, when I wanted to deny who I was and how I felt - people were kind to me. Helped me see more clearly. You need time, be kind to yourself - this is a journey, not a race. Often time is the only thing that helps you see clearly.

[Deleted Member]

  4 hours ago, Firewitch said:

Erase that bruise maker and find another.... anyone with that much toxicity needs to fuck right out of your life....

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I recognise that I can be quick to judge at times but if you were made to feel bad then it indicates to me that this isn't the right person for you to be intimate with.  

Knowing yourself is the biggest part of anyone's kink journey and this is the root of you moving forward. 

You clearly have insight and desire to grow and this will stand you in good stead.

Time and patience and growth all have a path to go down and all experiences contribute to it... Good or bad.  Its a beautiful and enlightening journey and you will find your peace eventually. 

There are amazing people here who will support you and offer advice and guidance. 

Blessed be

🔥🔥🔥

[Me****]

  5 hours ago, Messedup79 said:

How do you cope with bruises and marks left by someone that you treasured but then they tell you you are too much and you just feel physically sick every time you see them? I’d like to erase them. I know they will fade but I can’t bear to look at myself right now. 

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You'll be fine.

Head up.

Move on.

Be a brave girl.

and remember.

Nothing truly good is ever easy.

Your happy will come if you keep looking for it.

We all love you.

🔓⛓💖⛓🔓

[Me****]

  31 minutes ago, Firewitch said:

There are amazing people here who will support you and offer advice and guidance. 

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And you are number one Fire.

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

[Wo****]

  5 hours ago, Messedup79 said:

How do you cope with bruises and marks left by someone that you treasured but then they tell you you are too much and you just feel physically sick every time you see them? I’d like to erase them. I know they will fade but I can’t bear to look at myself right now. 

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You were "too much" how?

The bruises will fade. The damage will last longer.

Did he provide aftercare?

 

 

[Deleted Member]

  5 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

And you are number one Fire.

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

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I'm very grateful for your comment and for me the community is the number one,  the sum being greater than the component parts,  @Messedup79 you will enjoy it here greatly 😘

[uk****]

Like someone said further up, if s/he was happy enough to use you, but by the sound of it had no interest in you the person (other than how it benefits them) then you have done the right thing by walking away - external marks will fade.

"We are a combination of our past experience. Whether we learn from them or not is up to us"

 

[Deleted Member]

  7 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

I know you do, the lead ball in the pit of the gut. It's something most if not all have felt at one time or another. All you can do is take it one day at a time, one foot in front if the other and in time that lead ball will weigh less and less. Nothing anyone says will make a difference with healing, only time does that but it's always nice to know there are others, who do understand. You are not alone 😊

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Thank you for your kindness 

[Deleted Member]

  4 hours ago, Bounty said:

You were "too much" how?

The bruises will fade. The damage will last longer.

Did he provide aftercare?

 

 

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I guess we are all just complicated and complex individuals... 

I was just struggling with why the feelings seemed so different so suddenly. I think I understand it now. Thank you for your support 

[Deleted Member]

  3 hours ago, Firewitch said:

I'm very grateful for your comment and for me the community is the number one,  the sum being greater than the component parts,  @Messedup79 you will enjoy it here greatly 😘

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I am glad I reached out in my neurotic emotional moment. It was comforting to have support. Thank you