Munch Notes/Agenda - Funishment vs. Punishment - 19th November 2020

[Th****]

Host: @Thebian

Content Contributors: @PixieDust @lil-monster @Thebian

 

Intro-

 

Tonight’s topic as you probably gathered is on Funishment vs. Punishment. So, we are going to cover all the angles and take it one step at a time. Let’s start with an easier one.

 

 What do we mean by Punishment as opposed to Funishment?

•      No Dominant wants to Punish their submissive.
•      It must not negatively rein*** the behavior. Otherwise it may encourage it.
•      It may not be suitable for everyone at all. Punishment can break some submissives.
•      At times sitting down and having a long, long, serious talk is a punishment.

•     Creativity makes the best Punishments

 

So, if you are a Dom/me what would your deterrents be? If you are a submissive what would you dislike most?

•     Learning a chapter of a particularly boring subject, or page of a dictionary. (Learning issues allowing of course.)
•     Writing lines. (Same goes here) With no mistakes – or start again, nib & ink with no splodges or drops or start again if you do
•     Writing an essay
•     Holding a coin against a wall with the tip of the nose for a fixed time. If particularly severe add 30 seconds – 1 minute each time it is dropped.
•     Sitting in the corner and thinking about what they have done. (Not recommended unless particularly severe.)
•     Counting contents – example large jar of jellybeans without eating any or separating colours or counting screw, nuts, nails etc.
•     Kneeling on raw rice or beans
•     Holding a heavy item in a position for a period of time
•     Opportunity to fess up to one’s mistakes or misdemeanors can almost be punishment in itself as it gets you squirming whilst waiting for a decision on what type of punishment you will receive
•     Privileges taken away – example not watching favorite TV show, no trip to get nails done, not allowed favorite food, sleeping in separate room
•     Household chores
•     Orgasm denial
•     Missing time or communication with your Dom/me

In all these things I would recommend that if possible, the Dominant should be present if silent. This applies if you are on voice as well.

 

How important is communication before and after a punishment as equals?  

 

What about punishment and a Dom/mes mood? I am thinking of annoyance or anger here.

•    Dom/mes should always be calm when considering a punishment. It was also mentioned in detail how important keeping  a cool head was at all points regarding any punishment.
•    Never punish in anger.
•    Remember the adage if you cannot control yourself you cannot control others.

 

Would anyone consider corporal punishment as consensual Punishment?

 

             I have certainly heard of people using impact play that the sub did not enjoy as a punishment.

           

What are your thoughts whether giving or receiving?

 

•    Is this to close to being negative rein***ment?
•    Is there a greater chance that a punishment beating might affect the dynamic in unseen ways?
•    Could this trigger past trauma?
•    This would have to be tailored to your submissives personal tastes.

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Now to Funishment ….. The Fun bit

 

How many of us enjoy some form of discomfort or *** from nipple play, spanking, any impact play, or generally anything that makes you go ouchy? Or even tactile play?

 

•     Often in scenes and play although a Dom/me can do what they wish to their sub the scene runs better when there is some teamwork.

 So, let’s pretend that in play your submissive is supposed to call you Sir/ Miss. In the height of passion or under distraction your sub does not.

That is the perfect excuse for a Funishment. You do not mind but it helps the scene to flow if you are spanking for a reason.

What experience of this do you all have?

 

•      Brats, littles and over pokey pets can be a brilliant source of playful Funishment. Anyone done or had done any outstandingly good examples Funishment earning activities?   (Glitter bombs anyone?)

 

Are there any dynamics that do not lend themselves to Funishment in this way and where the Dom/me just chooses what  play will occur and it happens to their submissive.

•    This is still Funishment as the impact play etc. is not done to penalise but is for pleasure.
•    I am thinking in a TPE M/s dynamic particularly, but there may be others.
•    As long as the play that is chosen by the Top is not being done to Punish but is being done because they want to enjoy their  subs body, it is still Funishment.

 

The bottom line here is that no matter what is done as a Funishment, you know that it is only play and that there is no disappointment involved. Do you think that this makes a big difference?

 

Just to recap …. When newcomers first enter the lifestyle, they are often looking to be Punished and not Funished.

                   

Do you think that newcomers realise that no Dom/me wants to punish their sub, just as no sub wants to be punished?

•   I know if I have to punish my sub I feel I have failed as well as I am responsible for teaching her to know better.     
•   Funishment though that is the part of play that is fun. That is the “Good Stuff”.

 

Any questions anyone, any points we did not cover at all, or anything I missed in the fast scrolling chaos.

 

 

 

[Deleted Member]

A very well written and presented article and great topic. Thanks so much for sharing it.
The one point that really stood out for me and I consider it of utmost importance. The dom/me should absolutely be present if denying communication as a punishment.

[Th****]

I am with you on that one Sean, I have always considered that presence lessens abandonment trauma triggers as well.

Thank you for the compliments though.