Shamed at work

[Deleted Member]

I can't help you but good luck

[qu****]

You should talk to citizens advice bureau, I've always found them helpful and friendly, and when you contact them they usually put you with someone with experience of a particular problem, in this case harassment at work, 🤗🤗

[ey****]

21 hours ago, lucyreed said:

i am thinking of contacting people services to see if they are able to help but i am worried that this will open an even bigger can of worms.

contacting them certainly isn't going to make things worse.  

But, I think it is a cautionary tale about folks responses, sadly. 

[Deleted Member]

There are few issues here.
1/ always make sure if you are going to open up, you know very well people you work with.
2/ is it worthy telling your private life to others especially this kind?
3/ legally you have the law with you regarding harassment/bullying at work. But on the long run is it worthy?
4/ lets say you win, but you might lose that job, or if you stay colleague might not talk to you anymore.
5/ you win but next boss might ask why you left or ask for reference and they have to disclose why? Your little secret is out again...
maybe you could ignore the comments and banter for a while it might go away. Remember people got a short memory and these days it’s all about insta-social life. They will find something new to fixate on.
Or you could educate them by explain them why you are doing it and how safe it is. Bring a few article about it, some psychological reviews, known kinky celebrities etc... they will be bored and think it’s not that exciting after all. Boring people by overload with information is a good tactic.

Edited November 25, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

contacting them certainly isn't going to make things worse.  

Make sure you talk to the boss first! They don’t like when they get a phone call for investigation or accusation in their company! 

[ey****]

28 minutes ago, FabSeverus said:

Make sure you talk to the boss first! They don’t like when they get a phone call for investigation or accusation in their company! 

I'm working on the assumption that People Services is an Internal HR department - I would definitely go there first rather than external

But, otherwise, yes trying to resolve internal is a first step

[Deleted Member]

I never heard of that department so I can’t comment. 

[ol****]

Topical I suppose but workplace bullying is inapproriate in the UK and your employer has a duty to stamp it out. 

You need to be clear if you follow up. Workmates may claim genuine concern if they think you are self harming. 

You have my sympathy. It's not a no win situation but how you handle it needs careful thinking through.

[lucyreed]

thank you all so much for your various help...much to mull over thank you x

[an****]

I have not been your position and don’t know the people you’re dealing with but I would recommend you straight up tell them when they are being inappropriate and or / simply tell them to fuck off. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your kink.

If you’d like to discuss further dm me. I’m sure I could be more helpful if I knew more and I’m happy to chat.

[an****]

But oldfellow is right about it being responsible for the protection of their employees. But I see why you might not want to go to Managemant given the subject matter and you not wanting to make your private life any more public than it is.

[an****]

♥️♥️♥️

[VoyagerX]

Stick your head above the pa***t.

Be brave.

Accept the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

And prevail.

X

[Deleted Member]

How are things at work now? Are you still getting bullied?

[MrMyGooo]

Make sure you can prove your point in case it does turn into a big can of worms you have a defense

[lucyreed]

On 12/5/2020 at 6:59 AM, Lockfairy said:

How are things at work now? Are you still getting bullied?

Hi,

not bullied as such but there are clearly 3 camps.....those who are cold shouldering me, those that are just too interested and keep making shades of grey jokes and asking inapropriate questions.....but  thankfully the majority have just carried on and dont seem to care.

I wish i had kept my mouth shut, i don't feel I can be myself anymore and if i have a session i am constantly worried that there will be a bruise visible and that they will judge me again.

 I have a big bruises on the inside of my knee at the moment....nothing to do with bdsm, I cant even remember how i got it.....but at work i can see that THEY think it is and are making up a narrative for it!!!

[Deleted Member]

I’m glad to hear the majority are grown ups, but it’s not right that you feel unable to be yourself at work because of a few immature idiots. Is there anyone you can talk to to make them stop? It’s massively inappropriate for them to be talking to you like this. I hope you’re writing down every incident because they could get in severe trouble for sexual harassment. Would you feel able to say to them, “This is sexual harassment and you need to stop now.”?

As for the bruises, it’s probably not a terrible idea to make sure they’re hidden, anyway. But, I know what you mean about accidental bruises. I am very slightly dyspraxic and live on a boat. I am forever tripping over things and bumping into things and can often not explain the bruises I have.

I hope you manage to find a way to sort this out. Let us know how you get on?

Lock x