why do we have to be masochistic?

[saphy]

Thats a big word for someone who appreciates ***, for someone who NEEDS to feel pleasure through that ***...but why are we that way?

What feeds that unyielding need? 

Why is it I get so stuck in my own head that it's so debilitating and regressive that ONLY bruising and being overpowered and hurt to the point of crying takes me out of that space? Why does a tight grip around my throat and being restrained completely free me in myself? 

I keep asking myself this question, "why can't I function normally", why can't I find alternative means of freeing me, myself??! Why does it have to be at the hands of a sadist that I find this freedom?  

Excuse the brain fart folks but I'm totally lost in my own head at this point and maybe here, I'll get answers that I dont otherwise know. 

 

Be safe 

saphy (x)

 

 

[Deleted Member]

for me I believe it is attached to various different learned behaviour growing up. My father was stern and his opinion was only allowed truth; therefore keeping my opinions, the essence of me, in whilst growing up was the ‘norm’. The only times I ever told him anything authentic would be when tempers had been lost and I was under physical threat. Now this was by no means often...but it was a major factor is shaping my personality. I NEED to be physically and emotionally led/over-powered/dominated. I have learned as I travel my own bdsm journey that I NEED *** ... do do as you describe saphy...to get out of my head and stay in the moment...the sinking is something I do quite easily as I am really very submissive, but the staying there are my body reacts is difficult without *** or ***. I am a people pleaser, my happiness depends on others being happy ... this makes knowing wihich kinks are mine and which are for Others sometimes a blurred line. This cannot be so with *** I don’t believe, hold my throat, tell me how You will hurt me and my mind submits along with my body. Or something

[Jed]

Speaking from the"other side" the interaction that is craved from a submissive in relation to *** and the emotions that give rise from that interaction are an emotional draw that very quickly becomes very addictive...this is also very much so for the giver of such interactions...our head space is what i often refer to as a mixed salad of thoughts and emotions that we all want to pick at...and find the best bits that give rise to feelings of euphoria...the bits we dont like always remain the sour tastes if you like...how we deal with these crumbs of dissatisfaction defines are paths and our next steps...we all to often fall foul of ruing the downward spiral we find ourselves when we let our negative thoughts overpower our positive ones....the creative part of the brain is a wonderous tool but it also gives us a blunt instrument all to often....i may have rambled but what im trying to say is "what you think about you bring about" Not sure if this helps...i hope it does just a little. Xxx

[saphy]

47 minutes ago, sweetmissbehavin said:

for me I believe it is attached to various different learned behaviour growing up. My father was stern and his opinion was only allowed truth; therefore keeping my opinions, the essence of me, in whilst growing up was the ‘norm’. The only times I ever told him anything authentic would be when tempers had been lost and I was under physical threat. Now this was by no means often...but it was a major factor is shaping my personality. I NEED to be physically and emotionally led/over-powered/dominated. I have learned as I travel my own bdsm journey that I NEED *** ... do do as you describe saphy...to get out of my head and stay in the moment...the sinking is something I do quite easily as I am really very submissive, but the staying there are my body reacts is difficult without *** or ***. I am a people pleaser, my happiness depends on others being happy ... this makes knowing wihich kinks are mine and which are for Others sometimes a blurred line. This cannot be so with *** I don’t believe, hold my throat, tell me how You will hurt me and my mind submits along with my body. Or something

EXACTLY THIS sweet!!!!!!! Exactly!  Two peas in a pod huh? Lol God it's such a relief to even just know that I ain't alone in that struggle. Thankyou!!!!!!! Thankyou for being 'my kinda' normal!  xxxxxx

[Newbiesub868]

Wow. I never thought of it like that but it’s true. Whether it is being instructed online or dominated (once so far) it made me forget everything else. I was only there in that moment whether it was the *** or the pleasure I felt it was the only thing I felt. It allows you to feel only what you want and ask to feel which in itself allows you to release the other shit piling up inside. 

[saphy]

It makes complete sense Sir....I hate that those sour bits are overcoming the euphoria of the best bits but in no means are they related...the only sense I can imagine, is subconsciously...I need to give...I need to feel ***, I need to feel degraded and demeaned....maybe because I DO have things so good just now...I'm not one for lavish compliments or gestures of kindness or being placed on some sort of a pedestal...its just not who I am...maybe like sweet said, our pasts sometimes create issues in our personalities, maybe that's the fault right there as to why I can accept all the nice things and all the best bits without needing to physically feel worthy of them - but the flip to that, I'm not ungrateful and I'm completely overcome with the genorosities of everyone...and most importantly You Sir!  And I love every one dearly, I adore mySir with every inch of my being I cannot stress that enough at this point. I'm a fuck up, but...im a nice fuck up lol 💖💖💖 xxxxxx another little layer away Sir ❤❤ xxxxx

[Minky-2827]

Hi saph..my own thoughts. By being restrained and ***d into *** means you are giving yourself over to someone else and because you have no control.you go with it and enjoy it and with *** being pleasures very close relation you will enjoy it...your brain has nothing to do as you are being controlled at the hands of another which sets you free and helps you escape into the *** and pleasure you are recieving. Dont know if it makes sense to you but thats the way I see it

[BigPolly]

You’re not a Fuck up at all Saphy. We’re all a little odd in our kinks etc that’s what makes us all so beautifully unique from everyday folk. We have the confidence to ask for pleasure that others can only dream of. To receive *** etc brings extreme anticipation which for me is very sexy, it releases endorphins similar to that of drug taking us to unbelievable Euphoric states. It is also a mental thing for me, I am strong willed so mentally I push myself to accept more than I should rather than asking someone to stop. Pushing myself & mentally pushing someone else is very exciting. Regardless of what our perceptions are of why we enjoy it, the simple answer is ‘we just do!’ & why would you want to function normally, our lifestyle is so much more pleasurable than the vanilla folk x

[Deleted Member]

This is such a brave and insightful post Saphy. The cause and effect elements of our experiences causes me endless interest ...... some more palatable than others. Emotional resilience is something that humans specialise in and I think that kink supports this very well for those of us with such inclinations. Opening up some of the challenges we have faced enables others to consider their journeys and what they have experienced.  

Its not always easy to speak about negative times but until those things are exposed and their importance is diminished they will weigh us down. 

I’m so proud of you in this step you have taken to open up and share. 

Some might ask what this has to do with kink but those people are yet to reach the depths that you are exploring and I feel are imperative for personal growth and emotional fulfilment. 

 

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[Ga****]

The original idea about Masochists getting pleasure from *** came from Victorian Psychiatrist Richard Von Krafft-Ebing. He was rubbishing Carmelite Nuns who got Spritual Experiences from being whipped on their bare buttocks. But no kidding that's how it works for me.