Working out your kink?

[Deleted Member]

I'm beyond confused as to where you start. I'm so self conscious that it's hindered my sex life. I usually end up with very vanilla men that don't really want to know what I want. What if what I believe I would enjoy isn't right for me, I wouldn't want to waste someone's time or mess them around. What if they're better off left as fantasies of a bored woman 🙄 How do you take that leap?

[SirKinksalot]

Your best bet is to find someone who has experience and is willing to let you experience all the kinks you like without pressure to stick to them, someone who will nurture your fantasies and help you discover yourself and in the process become closer and allow the kinks to find you both and what works for your relationship, openness and communication is everything 👍

[penguinlatex]

I would like to offer advise, just keep trying, there is someone, somewhere for everyone. it may seem hard but you have just not found the right one you click with. I am still looking for my match and have sent hundreds of messages with very little gained. If you would like we can talk to help pass the time and I might be able to help in what you are looking for. It took me years to finally talk about BDSM and what I like for the *** and backlash but have slowly gained knowledge and experience in life. Hope this helps.

[Deleted Member]

Hey girl, dont loose heart. I feel the same way! Feel free to share your thoughts in DM if you like :)

[Wo****]

Google "bdsm test" that will give you an idea, at least, of what you might like.

Look into things that interest you. Talk to kinksters on here, ask questions.

Get to know people, discuss ideas x

[Cr****]

I'm new how are you

[Deleted Member]

I think you have to let go inside yourself first. Acknowledge what your kink is and explore. Don't be scared of your imagination. Holding it back brings anxiety. We all started at the beginning once 😊

[kinkster_dom959]

First of all find out what are your turn ons, your interests, your fantasies. Then what you have tried and want more and what are things that excites you and willing to try or push. Then you may find a good partner or a Dom who can help you explore your kinks, is patient to guide/mentor you. 😇

[Latexable]

Be true to yourself and open to finding out what you like and what you don’t. Try it if you don’t like it all good.

[Subslut4u]

I can tell you one thing for sure and thats you owe it to yourself to explore to make life not just good but remarkable fantasy is only a reality thats yet to happen and this life we have is all to fleeting to sit on the sidelines or to dream of things we would love to do so try it all if you like it do it again and push the limits every chance you get

[Ni****]

Everyone has to start somewhere, and we've all been where you are now - taking that leap into the kinky unknown, not sure if it's what we want / need ...... But the only way to find out is to try. Read up on Doms and submissives, the different types of both, take the suggested test to see what your inclinations might be - Domme or Sub, watch and read porn to see what interests and excites you - and equally as important, what doesn't. You should then start to get an idea of what you'd like to try - bondage, impact play, rope play, etc. and then it's just about finding the right person to chat with and hopefully explore your fantasies with. Good luck !

[tommy1966]

Hey there I know I might be to old for you but saw your profile and wanted to say I'm a master looking for younger sub like yourself to hook up with in cardiff where i can train you to obay me while living out our fantasies. If your interested then drop me a message xx

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

Find research material, find what suits you but stay safe. Don't go jumping into a situation with anyone. If you are then comfortable to start speaking to people try a local munch when things get back to normal. At the moment join the munches online on this site/app. They are usually on Thursday 8pm. You don't even have to chat right away just watch the chat. There are some knowledgeable people in the munches. Yet I do repeat keep safe.

[Deleted Member]

Just explore who you are, things will fit into place within time. 

[Deleted Member]

I think you have to settle on knowing you're worth the effort to look deeper into everything. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. Just go slow and enjoy learning for a while and getting perspective and exploring. Good luck in the mean time.

[Deleted Member]

I would suggest joining the lobby and chatting with everyone. Also when you feel you are ready, find a partner/Dom/sub who you can trust to take it slow and explore. Trust and security is such a vital part of the experience and like all the other comments have said no need to rush, just do some research and have fun learning and exploring with The community dark x

[Koby]

It's possible to overthink BDSM - am I good enough? I don't know who I am? What If I say I like something than change my mind?

Ask anyone with BDSM and I am sure they have at some point experienced self-doubt or felt uncertain.Personally, I am in a continuous state of evolution. As part of my evolution, my needs change. Consequently, I am learning even more about me.

Self-reflection has to occur as part of the evolution process. Rather than  reach definitive point or a destination, I go through a process or a journey.

One of the key parts of my journey is to understand that I do not need to reach the destination and I should be focused on enjoying the journey. It's always easier to reflect when you are not under any Unnecessary Expectation or Pressure.

I think this is the best mindset to start off with ... learning or experiencing different things at a leisurely pace. Being open-minded and fluid without nailing your flag to the mast.

There is no need to have a definitive role or particular interests in certain kinks. The more you read about BDSM, the more you will gravitate accordingly to certain things.

[TheLabRats]

Don't have sex with men that don't want what you want. 1 time thing is fine but relationships require wanting the same things, in life, love and sex