Any advice for a nervous first time sub?

[Deleted Member]

Mostly scared that I'll disappoint my Dom, because this will be a completely new experience for me, and I literally don't know what to expect... Scared and excited at the same time - what a combination.

[je****]

You just have to be optimistic this lifestyle is so fun that you gonna enjoy it

[je****]

There is nothing you should be scared about but you can start from an online play session so you can take task from your mistress or goddess and you should be ready to learn and explore

[je****]

Bdsm is just a sexual play lifestyle with different kinks with kinksters

[Wo****]

5 hours ago, christiana212 said:

I literally don't know what to expect...

You've discussed this, right?

What you're gonna do, expectations, safe Words, limits?

 

[de****]

An experienced Dom/domme will teach you and explore with you this lifestyle has so many things to offer discuss them with your partner in choosing

[Dr****]

It’s their responsibility to take very good care of you. Relax and let them drive. Follow their instructions. I’m sure you won’t disappoint.

[Sadar]

Make sure you express what is happening for you very clearly. I’m assuming that you have safe words and those sorts of things already sorted out. The main thing is to make sure that you give clear and unambiguous feedback to your Dom. Overtime they will come to read you better and should be able to find your boundaries without exceeding your limits. Above all, it should not be a burden for you but a joy, although at times quite challenging. Be open about your emotions.

[Mz****]

7 hours ago, DrLoc said:

It’s their responsibility to take very good care of you. Relax and let them drive. Follow their instructions. I’m sure you won’t disappoint.

Thats true, but its not Just their responsibility, the sub/bottom has a duty of care for themselves too, especially prior to the meet at the negotiation stage, things like being honest about health conditions mental or physical, triggers, limits, even allergies, (I'm thinking specifically of lube and condoms) as well as educating themselves on safewords and considering what type of aftercare they may need, setting up safe calls and so on. 

[Deleted Member]

My first time I was nervous too. Leading up my Dom told me confidence is key. We had discussed the plan many times before. I had done the homework as far as preparing for what I could prepare for. And when the time came you just check in to a new space. You cannot go wrong as long as you try. A good Dom will take very very good care of you. And relinquishing the control and giving in to their desires, fulfills sooooo much of your own. 🤗 confidence 💯

[ey****]

18 hours ago, christiana212 said:

Mostly scared that I'll disappoint my Dom, because this will be a completely new experience for me, and I literally don't know what to expect... Scared and excited at the same time - what a combination.

so, step one and first advice

get their expectations on the table.  know what they expect from you.

[Deleted Member]

Learn to enjoy the challenges you are about to take on from your dom because in the end you will be a better stronger person. A good dom will understand that you are just learning.....but you have to be willing to try. Make it absolutely clear the things that you absolutely refuse to do, but be aware that if that list is 10 miles long, you are not good sub material.

[de****]

It is new and exciting but I understand your trepidation. If you have a good Dom, there is nothing to worry about. Your Dom will help you through. You just have to be willing to give up control. And even that comes a little at a time as your trust grows. Enjoy it.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you all for the advice, being new, I didn't realize what a supportive community it is.

[Al****]

Just because you are a sub does not mean you can’t say no. A healthy sub/ dom relationship does not mean that the sub is scared of the dom. (Excluding specific dynamics)