*** or kink

[John958]

At what point does control over another even with concent becomes ***

[ey****]

if it is all within consent it's probably not *** - but is then up to the person to be "Hey, I know I consented to this - but it's no longer cool"

there's different levels of *** which can be heading into ***.  

This could include "If you do this for me I will do this for you" (and then no follow through.  Repeatedly)

"If you don't do this for me, despite it being something you didn't agree to, then I will do something that punishes you" (Unless this was something that was obvious)

Frequent and deliberate breaking of limits.

Using an excuse to punish you

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Some straw scenarios.

You have a limit.  Say... caning (but this can be replaced with anything)

1) Your Dominant asks if you will do a hard caning for them and promises something in return.  You take the caning and they just never do the thing in return.

2) Your Dominant takes out a cane.  You said you never agreed to caning.  They say if you don't take the caning they will punish you in whatever way.

3) You don't like caning but have said to your Dominant you know they do, but will do it for them but they have to appreciate this is a big thing.   They cane you daily.

4) You agree caning is a punishment.  You seem to get disproportionate and hard canings from either the smallest of actions.  Sometimes things you didn't even think you'd done wrong.

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So in each of the above steps you've consented to it, but it is likely to be a form of ***.   1-3 could depend on the context of your relationship and if this is something you become unhappy with then you need to raise it.  If the response is "you must do it for your Dominant" then that can be a form of manipulation.

Number 4 - this is something I've alluded to a few times and why I sometimes question why (particularly male) Dominants are insistent on laying out punishments.

[Ni****]

When someone's Safeword is ignored

[Deleted Member]

This point was raised a few weeks ago and another member made a great point. Words to the effect of "even with a safe word a submissive may not want to use it so as to dissapoint the Dom." I think that's a great point to consider especially if you are a relatively new partnership, unfamiliar with each other etc. For me if I'm lucky enough to get physical with a willing partner safe word or not every few minutes I will engage eye contact and gently ask with a smile "are you ok?" So as to avoid any chances of this happening especially if it's on the rougher end of kink.

[Deleted Member]

Everything is explain on this site 

 

[ey****]

I think the article raises a good point that we also assume that it's the Dominant who is the ***r.

whilst it's unlikely the sub is going to be phyiscally abusive, they can be emotionally abusive or manipulative in many ways.

[Deleted Member]

  7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

they can be emotionally abusive or manipulative in many ways

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This is a good new post? As it’s very true.