Verification before meeting someone

February 10, 2021

3 hours ago, BoulderDom said:

I admit that I hate chatting on FET because the messaging system sucks. I often try to move to the moment I find them interesting, but it's always with the caveat "we can also chat here as long as you want."

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Maybe one answer is to lobby Fet for a better messaging system. I state on my profile that people shouldn’t ask me to move off site, but I acknowledge it’s a bit crap. If the system were better, it would be easier to justify remaining within it.

February 10, 2021

1 hour ago, Eve1919 said:

I really appreciate the men here who recognize how risky meeting can be for women. For me, it a huge red flag when a man immediately want to jump off the site. I always tell them that I want to stay on site for bit. About 75% of them just stop responding. I always figured I dodged a bullet. I don't know what kind of bullet I dodged, but I pretty sure I dodged one.

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And that is great to hear, if they stop responding they are not worth the effort in the first place. Keep sensible and keep safe 😊

Edited February 10, 2021 by Deleted Member

February 10, 2021

8 hours ago, blondeLG said:

You are brave!!!

your last paragraph is very true and this frightens me so much. I always seem to attract the impatient doms who don’t really want to spend a lot of time chatting online first and are so eager to get me away from the site and expect to tie me up on the first meet. I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel these concerns

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There are a lot of impatient types out there, aren’t there? It’s important that women are comfortable with saying ‘No’ to pushy Doms and are encouraged to be confident in asserting their safety needs.

February 10, 2021

12 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

There are a lot of impatient types out there, aren’t there? It’s important that women are comfortable with saying ‘No’ to pushy Doms and are encouraged to be confident in asserting their safety needs.

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I am actually suspect of women who come on too strong to Doms. Often times the women are just scammers, but even if they're legitimately interested in a Ds relationship, I don't trust that they'll fully communicate their boundaries or when they feel unsafe. If the desire to please or to be owned outweighs the desire to protect one's self, bad shit is going to eventually happen.

And on the flip side, a pushy Dom is likely to ignore boundaries even if they *are* communicated. Dominance is about listening to your partner, recognizing the subtle cues of their posture and their breathing. If you're impatient, you're effectively flying blind.

I much prefer to dominate strong women (where's the accomplishment in dominating someone who will give control to anyone?). That means being patient and earning trust over time.

February 10, 2021

29 minutes ago, BoulderDom said:

I much prefer to dominate strong women (where's the accomplishment in dominating someone who will give control to anyone?).

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Word 👆👆👆