Question on Spanking Length

[Jon254]

How do you know if someone has been spanked hard/ long enough?

 

[Deleted Member]

They use their safe word for you to stop.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, Jeff36 said:

They use their safe word for you to stop.

I'd disagree with this. I think  that actually you want to avoid making a sub safeword. That is an indication things went too far. 

The easy answer is 'ask'. You can use traffic lights. Anything other than  green should have play stop for a conversation to see if the sub is happy to continue. 

Observing body language can help too, but this probably only works if you know the sub quite well. One person wriggling might mean 'stop' another might wiggle lots when they're enjoying a spanking. 

 

[ey****]

Yeah, as helpful as safewords are, unless you've agreed to play to the point of safeword* (*a risk in itself) - the purpose is not to cause someone the discomfort to need to use it.

If in doubt...

Ask if you should carry on

or, better still.  Stop.

You can always ask for feedback later of whether more could have been taken.

[fifiofo]

I usually have two safe words, one meaning "watch out, drop the intensity" and the usual one meaning "stop now, no questions asked", over time as you get to know someone you might forget about the first, but as others mentioned it is always a matter of communication.

[ey****]

if you're really in doubt, constant rein***ment.

So a few strikes and actively ask if the intensity should go up, down, or stay the same.  Whilst doing this, making your own observations on how the person is responding.

In future this means you can probably answer these questions without asking by judging body language, reactions and any tells.

So the first couple of times may be like question time - but then this makes it better for the future.

[Si****]

Integrate it into your game as suggested. A few soft and a few hard ones, then ask her if she's had enough. Hopefully she will say No Sir I haven't learnt my lesson yet! 😏

[Deleted Member]

dont always focused on one part of the body, switch punishment too, its all about body reaction. You need to learn how to read it, as its important for the safety of your sub. If she/he start shaking, bleeding, colour of the skin...

[Pa****]

Another option is to play for the first couple of times and actually let things be more vocal, then you can add teasing and wiggling, just having fun. Plus you find the your subs ass rising for the next spank.

If in doubt always go low and slow...Victoriablisse makes a very good point the aim is to find that sweet spot when your sub wants more, but doesn't need to use their safe words...you can only get their through paying attention and communicating.

Beware, some subs are not into the *** of the impact play itself, but the relief that it is over, this is where communication is important, somebody says they liked to be spanked, but they mean something else.

[Jimmydale]

As a totally self spanker, at the moment, I challenge my self to go longer and harder with tougher implements. I start slow, over clothes such as shorts or even jeans. I build up to the "runner's high" where endorphins kick in (chem. similar to heroin) I have a whole set of antique hairbrushes (OUCH!), dog collars to use as straps, those "Board of Education" paddles you can get at tourist shops, antique paddles signed! It turns me on to shop in antique stores !!!