policies relating to consent in BDSM fetish clubs?

[gary1234]

Hi

I'm wondering if anybody could share with me any policies used in fetish clubs, relating to consent?

Also, are people asked to sign the policy before being allowed in?

What methods are used to educate people about what is and is not ok?

Without such a policy, people may only find out they did something wrong after they've done it.. So i'm interested in what formal policies there are out there to help ensure safety?

Thanks

[ey****]

1 hour ago, gary1234 said:

Also, are people asked to sign the policy before being allowed in?

So, I've been to multiple clubs and only one has had a "sign to say you've read and understood" form on entry

Although, another has membership (and another 'members plus guests') and part of your sign up to membership is agreeing to the rules, including for any guests you bring

Most, however, do have rules on websites and on ticket links and usually a "in buying this ticket you agree you understand and blah blah"

1 hour ago, gary1234 said:

What methods are used to educate people about what is and is not ok?

As well as the above - some do have printed rules up. There will also often be dungeon monitors.

1 hour ago, gary1234 said:

Without such a policy, people may only find out they did something wrong after they've done it.. So i'm interested in what formal policies there are out there to help ensure safety?

This then also becomes up to the individual to understand what is expected of them before they attend an event.  A lot really is common sense!

1 hour ago, gary1234 said:

I'm wondering if anybody could share with me any policies used in fetish clubs, relating to consent?

Returning to your first point last.

General rules on consent, conduct and decency do not fly out of the window when you step into a fetish club.   You can't walk around the club groping strangers. Interrupting people while they're playing or thrust yourself to the floor and start kissing a strangers feet.

I sometimes really struggle why people cannot fathom this and why they try to insult intelligence by claiming they didn't know!

There are *sometimes* exceptions to common sense - but this will usually be obvious if you're going to any form of themed, special or protocol event.   For example in Club Pedestal, if you are in the Goddess Room then men must be knelt at all times and only speak when spoken to.  If you're at SMug then women are subservient - but only to the gentleman they are with unless clearly extended.  But, this will be made expressly clear on these types of night.  

[LanceH]

In most clubs...no means no. Period. For a special scene exceptions are made, when it is asked beforehand.

[Deleted Member]

18 hours ago, gary1234 said:

Without such a policy, people may only find out they did something wrong after they've done it.

Almost every events or clubs have policies in place, it’s a legal requirement in most European countries. If you can see them on their website or at the club entrance just ask. Better to know before than being escorted out and banned for life....

[ArizonaKinkster]

The Green Door in Vegas does a pretty good job before entry. Nothing that isnt common sense..

You can see their all their policies here: https://greendoorlasvegas.com/faq/

This is what is posted:

Must be 18+ to enter
No reservations or invitations needed
Prostitution is prohibited
No alcohol served on premises and no BYOB
No food or beverages allowed
Smoking is permitted

“NO means NO”. Anyone may say “NO” for any reason at any time even if you are in the middle of a playing encounter and have changed your mind and want to stop it right there! If you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, just say “No”.

Do not jeopardize your happiness and satisfaction with this lifestyle, or that of your partner, by doing something against your will just because you are afraid to say no. The friendliest way is to say, “Oh, no thank you, but thanks for asking”. Be honest initially, and you will avoid any misunderstandings. Don’t forget that people’s attitudes change and who knows? Maybe sometime in the future you may meet again with a different opinion.

Always treat one another with respect. After all, this is a party!!!! Besides, you don’t want to be rude or judgmental, because you wouldn’t want it to happen to you. If a single talks to you and you are interested in playing with couples only, that doesn’t mean you can’t be nice to him/her. They are a person just like you! Just politely let them know.

If you are rejected (and it happens to everyone), Do NOT take personal offense. Rejection is a very personal thing, and it’s almost as hard to reject as it is to be rejected. Honesty with each other is crucial. Who knows? You could end up with a great friendship if you handle the situation right.

Use your common sense and good judgment when you are involved in a situation. Be kind, thoughtful, and sensitive. Couples and singles are people and have feelings too!!!
Respect the guidelines you set as a couple and communicate them to prospective partners.

Open, honest communication is imperative to forming relationships! And please don’t forget to respect the guidelines of others. Don’t try to “talk them into” changing the rules because you don’t happen to agree with them!

Demand absolute discretion! And be worthy of the same. Discretion is paramount in this lifestyle! Privacy is imperative!!! Never, ever discuss details inappropriately. Everything you do, everything you see, MUST remain private.

The Green Door has a saying, “What happens at The Green Door stays at The Green Door” A Las Vegas motto.

[pomonagirl]

i've been to three dungeon clubs in Los Angeles and all had very clear policies on "No Means No", "No Touching without Asking", use of safeword, etc. All of them had rules posted regarding consent, club rules and etiquette posted both in the venue as well as on their website. 

Specific rules regarding play and what type of play is allowed usually differed on different nights. 

Rules and safety was en***d by the presence of staff and "Dungeon Monitors", and attendees were encouraged to alert staff if they saw anything that seemed dangerous. 

All of these dungeons also offered classes/orientations on dungeon etiquette, "soft skills" (like scene negotiation, power dynamics, how to keep one's reputation safe) as well as "hard skills" (like how to use floggers, rope bondage, canes, etc). 

i did have to sign a form at each of the three clubs...can't quite recall if it was something that i just signed once, or had to sign each time i went. 

All the rules and regulations seem like it would lead to a more "stifled" environment, but i found the opposite to be true. With the presence of rules and staff, i felt safer and therefore was able to relax and enjoy playing much more than engaging in private play with people that i don't know very well.