Non sexual facesitting

[Deleted Member]

Confused by the title awesome haha na I have been on over 50 different sites trying to meet a girl for a LTR with her as a dom me as a sub anyways, only thing is i want to be facesit non sexually. Like when she’s watching TV and movies, even in public. I’ve been looking for the last 5 years on sites etc to the point I won’t even continue a conversation unless I know she would be interested in it. No hate against this site or any girls I just find it hard to believe I’m the only one being ignored about my interest

[ey****]

I think scanning through I can see why you're struggling

Firstly, I think it's important to forget about non-sexual.   If by non-sexual you mean "not giving her oral", that's slightly different to what's usually under facesitting anyway.

Your interest in doing this, if it's a kink or fetish then it *is* to somewhat of an extension likely to be sexual or difficult to persuade someone otherwise

The question is; what does she get out of this?  It's not really all that comfortable sitting on someone's face for prolonged period of time and- well - while some enjoy it it can still be a chore and a half.

  Quote

 ignored about my interest

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The common denominator in all of your failings is you.  You could join 5, 50, 500, 5000, sites and still have the same problem - you need to change your way of thinking.

I could suggest seeing a Pro, but this does have the problem that it's unlikely to be the LTR you want.

The best way to have a LTR is to make the relationship the thing you have in common.  Able to hold a conversation together, similar likes, similar hobbies or like of similar TV or movies or a way that each other can keep occupied while the other enjoys their thing (this doesn't mean she sits on your face while watching a favourite TV show - because this is going to distract her enjoyment of said show and you're still, ultimately, making this all about you)

If you want someone to be your Dominant it has to benefit them.  Your proposal brings little benefit.

[Deleted Member]

Well I guess that everyone just fakes their relationships that they have like this? Hmm? No sorry they don’t they exist and my issue from site to site is that there are no active girls that are real only fakes spamming your with links for some $600 sex site that has nothing to do with them.

[Deleted Member]

There isn’t meant to be any benefit from it that’s why it’s a non sexual act of facesitting. Do you sexualise a chair when you sit on it? No see my point. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[ey****]

you're on a fetish site arguing your fetish is not a fetish ?

equally, if there are no real women on 500 websites...... have you actually tried going to fetish events?

[Ar****]

  1 hour ago, Facesitsub996 said:

Well I guess that everyone just fakes their relationships that they have like this? Hmm? No sorry they don’t they exist and my issue from site to site is that there are no active girls that are real only fakes spamming your with links for some $600 sex site that has nothing to do with them.

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That first statement is a contradiction,  you either fake something or you have it. It reads as though you're embittered by rejection and looking for anyone to blame but yourself. Are you a logical man? Does it really make sense for there to be no real/active women on the websites you visit? If you're only visiting the scammier dodgy ones which look too good to be true, sure. But if you're on proper authentic sites for meeting people then there is a whole world of women out there for you to try and make a connection with. Have you no female friends of whom you could ask their experiences from such sites? I'm certain plenty of the ladies here on Fetish (some of whom I've met, and some I was friends with before I even joined) could put you straight too - but why should they? They don't need to validate themselves and give a chance to somebody who has just said he doesn't believe they exist. Only, I think you do know that there are plenty of real women around as you say no hate to any of the girls in your original post. 

  1 hour ago, Facesitsub996 said:

There isn’t meant to be any benefit from it

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So it IS about you? Be honest with yourself, are you a sub looking for a LTR with a Domme, or someone looking for a LTR with a partner who will fulfil your fantasy regardless of their discomfort?

 

Can you consider how it must look to women if the only thing you appear to be interested in is this? As@eyemblacksheepasked, what does she get out of the arrangement? You seem to be arguing that it would be no different to using a chair, so why would she not just use a chair and be far more comfortable - with the added bonus of not having to get close to a guy who doesn't appear to offer anything beyond his desire to have his face treated as a cushion for hours (and non-sexually at that).

 

I would suggest taking a step back and having a long hard look at your approach. Make connections, talk to people without it being about kink, find a rapport or several. It will be much easier for somebody to entertain the thought of doing what you seek once they have already decided they like you. But be prepared to compromise. They are not likely to enjoy it as much as you do, so you might need to step up and reciprocate by offering something you enjoy less than the facesitting in return. That stops the dynamic being one-sided; when things are fair and you communicate with respect, you thrive.

 

Good luck to you.

[Deleted Member]

Real woman here 🙋🏻‍♀️ I have several chairs already. Cheers.

[qu****]

Whilst you may not view Forniphilia as a sexual thing the vast majority of those who view a person as a chair, table etc do, it's not that an uncommon fetish, though rarer for someone who isn't Dom/Domme or sub to view it as non-sexual

[Mo****]

I think what people are trying to say and you are not hearing.....this kink may be the most important thing to you, you want to find a woman to sit on your face for prolonged periods, just sit, nothing more. Sounds simple....yes? BUT sitting on someone's face for a prolonged period would I imagine be fairly uncomfortable, even if you were into doing it.....so what does the other person get from it? Or get in return? What are you bringing to the table? What are you doing to make the other person happy? Are you asking what do you like? Maybe we could come up with a mutually beneficial situation where you sit on my face and I do XYZ for you? If you don't want to do that then that might be your problem rather than the lack of "real" women

[Du****]

One of the most satisfying aspects of a fulfilling fetish relationship (or any relationship) is mutual exploration of each other’s interests and pleasures. One partner might introduce the other to something entirely new, which, though previously un-thought of, becomes a mutual enjoyment. The payoff is the personal pleasure taken from the other’s happiness. For myself, I can think of quite a lot of stuff I’d be willing to do because I totally get off my partner’s satisfaction. In fact... *that’s what is*. You put up with their shit because deep down, you love them. I know, it’s a revelation.

You: you’re asking quite a lot. A girl would have to really care about your happiness to fulfill what you desire. She’d have to be willing to overcome any personal objections; put aside her own discomfort; endure prolonged boredom; and even disregard her feelings with regard to public ***.

If that’s what you want, my friend, there’s no reason to suppose you won’t find it. But believe me: you’d better be bringing more to the table than just a goddamn chair.

[ey****]

I often feel one of the core failures guys make is assuming that because there's something they are super interested in (say, being facesat) that there will be women also super interested in it (say, facesitting) - and, as we know, there are.

Or even those that maybe aren't super interested in it, but would do it now and then and enjoy it.

But the problem is that the guys interest is the fetish.  It often seems like anything else the other person is or isn't into doesn't matter.  TV, art, video games, ideal night out, favourite things to talk about, sport, other interests, and this just makes the person feel like it's not *them* that the person is interested in, but that well - anyone who will do the fetish will do.

And so many people say this in some many places, but sometimes guys just don't learn so they keep trying the same formula on every site and continue to fail - and then blame everyone except their approach.

[Du****]

  13 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I often feel one of the core failures guys make is assuming that because there's something they are super interested in (say, being facesat) that there will be women also super interested in it (say, facesitting) - and, as we know, there are.

Or even those that maybe aren't super interested in it, but would do it now and then and enjoy it.

But the problem is that the guys interest is the fetish.  It often seems like anything else the other person is or isn't into doesn't matter.  TV, art, video games, ideal night out, favourite things to talk about, sport, other interests, and this just makes the person feel like it's not *them* that the person is interested in, but that well - anyone who will do the fetish will do.

And so many people say this in some many places, but sometimes guys just don't learn so they keep trying the same formula on every site and continue to fail - and then blame everyone except their approach.

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Nailed it. This is what concerns me about those who fetishise, say, certain body types. Or scarring, there’s another one - something you can’t do anything about. You might want someone to ‘see past them’, but you wouldn’t want them to be the sole reason the person is attracted to you.

[Deleted Member]

  3 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Nailed it. This is what concerns me about those who fetishise, say, certain body types. Or scarring, there’s another one - something you can’t do anything about. You might want someone to ‘see past them’, but you wouldn’t want them to be the sole reason the person is attracted to you.

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Or being “an older woman”. You can have that as a fetish, just don’t involve me thank you twenty something men. I’m a person, not a fetish.

[Du****]

  9 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Or being “an older woman”. You can have that as a fetish, just don’t involve me thank you twenty something men. I’m a person, not a fetish.

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Ha ha! Yes! How does it go? Let’s see...

Him: I’m into older women, they’re so sexy
Me: Look at me emptying the bins and renewing my car insurance, I’m so sexy
Him: I’m thinking of you and having a wank
Me: Oh good. I’m in Asda
Him: Let me perform for you on webcam
Me: Dude, my kids are in the room, we’ll stick with Line Of Duty

😂😂😂😂

[Mo****]

  52 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Ha ha! Yes! How does it go? Let’s see...

Him: I’m into older women, they’re so sexy
Me: Look at me emptying the bins and renewing my car insurance, I’m so sexy
Him: I’m thinking of you and having a wank
Me: Oh good. I’m in Asda
Him: Let me perform for you on webcam
Me: Dude, my kids are in the room, we’ll stick with Line Of Duty

😂😂😂😂

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🤣🤣🤣 This is so true of actual conversations I've had. The fact I'm submissive doesn't seem to deter them either! It's always disappointing when sarcasm is lost on them too....

[Deleted Member]

  1 hour ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Ha ha! Yes! How does it go? Let’s see...

Him: I’m into older women, they’re so sexy
Me: Look at me emptying the bins and renewing my car insurance, I’m so sexy
Him: I’m thinking of you and having a wank
Me: Oh good. I’m in Asda
Him: Let me perform for you on webcam
Me: Dude, my kids are in the room, we’ll stick with Line Of Duty

😂😂😂😂

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🤣 It’s because we have so much life experience (of emptying the bins) - it’s soooo sexy. Line of Duty always wins over webcam shenanigans!

[Deleted Member]

Removing this topic cause clearly no one is getting my point without seeing the negative side of someone’s interest it’s disgusting

[Mo****]

  41 minutes ago, Facesitsub996 said:

Removing this topic cause clearly no one is getting my point without seeing the negative side of someone’s interest it’s disgusting

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Honestly I get your point, you want what you really love and enjoy, but are feeling frustrated that nobody wants to do it to you in a LTR. What we are saying and you are not getting is why should anyone do it if the only thing they get from it is pleasing you? Which may make your day, but certainly wouldn't make mine. Are you having 2 way discussions with people about what they would like in return? Doesn't have to be sexual. A massage perhaps to remove the aches of sitting on your head....making them dinner? Foot rubs? Do you see where I'm coming from? We aren't disgusted by what you want, but maybe a little jaded by the "me,me,me" attitude 

Edited March 27, 2021 by Morganna
Spelling

[ey****]

  52 minutes ago, Facesitsub996 said:

Removing this topic cause clearly no one is getting my point without seeing the negative side of someone’s interest it’s disgusting

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I/we do get your point

I'm not entirely sure you're getting ours.

So if you're making conversations mostly about your fetish (regardless of whether it's sexual or not) it makes potential partners feel you are more interested in your fetish than you are in them.   That is something that is off-putting and something if you don't change, well, you can keep joining sites and messaging people but the same results will keep happening.

Of course. I get this is important to you - and so we could get into this scenario that you're dating someone wonderful - raise this idea with her and she's like "Lol, no" and if this happens then - fuck - is this person more important than my interest?

There's an old saying about trying the same thing and expecting different results

[Deleted Member]

I’d do that but my issue is nobody even responds nor talks to me, I could write a message and say something about their profile that stood out and start a conversation asking how they’ve been or about hobbies and interests my issue is nobody talks even without me mentioning it

[Deleted Member]

  2 minutes ago, Facesitsub996 said:

I’d do that but my issue is nobody even responds nor talks to me, I could write a message and say something about their profile that stood out and start a conversation asking how they’ve been or about hobbies and interests my issue is nobody talks even without me mentioning it

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Being honest, if you messaged me I wouldn't respond as i feel once you see im not interest in your request then you would stop contacting me. Your profile clearly points out your looking for a LTR who will sit on your face for prolonged periods of time(the thoughts of burning thighs comes to mind). If I was single, this is not something I would be willing to do so wouldn't bother responding to you as your only looking for a LTR. 

[Deleted Member]

I don’t mean it as a me me me attitude I’d love to have a LTR with someone and be able to do those sort of things, have lunch dates etc like every other couple but if no one talks or if I get to know someone and bring this up it’s usually a deal breaker for them as allot of girls can’t picture it without a sexual aspect and it’s frustrating as I’m not big on actual sexual stuff. Will admit I don’t end anything it’s generally the girls that do hence why I’m so stuck on it being the first topic so I don’t have the anxiety of liking someone just to have them leave 99% of the time cause they find me disgusting. My issues with the sites are that nobody replies to me

[Deleted Member]

And no I have social anxiety, events are not my thing. You can thank all the people that called me disgusting

[ey****]

Anxiety sucks.  But it can be worked on.  If someone replied to your message going "OK then" you would still have anxiety.

I think if your anxiety is really bad my first piece of advice is to work on that.  There's a wealth of self-help resources on line, or, better seek out professional help

Because this will help you more in the long term.  

[Deleted Member]

Yea I’d still have anxiety but messaging to initiate with someone is easier as if they have a negative response to it, I don’t feel as small as I’d be made to feel in person