Need a hand here please! :)

[CuriousGeorge98]

Hi! I’ve not been on this website too long, and I’ve been trying to find out more about BDSM, and I’m aware that finding a local munch is usually the best way forward. But are there any tips for those like me who suffer with anxiety and really struggle to make that first step? Also, just how willing are most Dommes to actually take on a sub who’s never had experience in BDSM?

Sorry for the long post, I hope you all are having a great day

[Deleted Member]

Hello  Asking questions is a great way to start. Most munches will have someone who will meet and greet any new people. If you contact the organisers, they'll arrange for you to have someone with you when you go to your first munch. It takes a lot of the pressure off when you're walking into a room with someone else who can then introduce you to people there. 

[Deleted Member]

as VictoriaBlisse said, a chaperonne is good way to introduce you to a munch. Dont feel anxious about it as everybody would have done their first step there too. Just try it, go for few minutes, you dont have to stay all night. The best way is to message the orgisers as she/he will know your username and this way you would already know someone there.

Most Dommes are happy to have a new sub, its always exciting teaching to someone new. But do some research yourself too....

[CuriousGeorge98]

I didn’t realise, thanks I’ll definitely try that as I’d love to meet some new people, I’m just awful at introductions. Is there anything I should keep in mind etiquette wise at a munch or will the organisers go through that with me too?

Also fabseverus where would I be able to do some research? Thanks so much for both your and victoriablisse’s help

[Deleted Member]

What is a local munch? Stupid question but I'm new to this?

[Deleted Member]

  5 hours ago, CuriousGeorge98 said:

I didn’t realise, thanks I’ll definitely try that as I’d love to meet some new people, I’m just awful at introductions. Is there anything I should keep in mind etiquette wise at a munch or will the organisers go through that with me too?

Also fabseverus where would I be able to do some research? Thanks so much for both your and victoriablisse’s help

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Hiya, Etiquette wise just be respectful. I think the munch organisers will let you know if there's anything specific

[Deleted Member]

  5 hours ago, Dln1983 said:

What is a local munch? Stupid question but I'm new to this?

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A munch is a social meet where kinky folk get together but in a relaxed social setting, usually somewhere vanilla like a pub. 

[ey****]

Dominants tend to be apprehensive on taking on total newcomers.  This is a mileage may vary kind of thing and involves a lot of variables (let's look at the opposite - just because someone has been around 5-10 years etc. doesn't mean they are entitled to be taken on).

Reason being this is an emotional investment and there are a lot of guys in particular whom are, to be fair, merely fantasists.  And in some cases they have an idea of "what is hot" in their mind, but the reality is too much for them.

Anyone can say "I'm genuine" but very few are willing to prove it.  Putting effort in to prove it will always boost things.

[Deleted Member]

  On 24/03/2018 at 11:03 PM, VictoriaBlisse said:

A munch is a social meet where kinky folk get together but in a relaxed social setting, usually somewhere vanilla like a pub. 

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Thank You, but where could I find one local to me?

[Deleted Member]

  5 minutes ago, Dln1983 said:

Thank You, but where could I find one local to me?

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Take a look through the events listings here. If you can't see anything, there's lots of them listed over at fetlife.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you

[Lugnut-4292]

I am going to my first munch this week. I am not new to BDSM and fetish but I am new to the scene. I have a partner to go with so that makes it a lot easier. However I am posting because I have serious anxiety issues. Your Dr might be able to help with anxiety. Anti-depressnts help with a lot of people. Anxiety is a big problem for a lot of people. CBT can also help some people.

LugNut.