to**** Posted May 8, 2021 Posted May 8, 2021 How come a man can only message a woman once and then is blocked for three months from messaging again, yet it seems women can continually message again and again?
TheBookCollector Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 Not really, some men on here.can be extremely aggressive if they arent answered straight away, because they believe its thier right to get an answer not that women get inundated with messages, and so may not have time.to reply. Whereas women tend to be less aggressive in this regard.
Annalou Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 Hello, I wanted to reply as a member of the Community Team on for FET. I understand why there might be confusion around some of our rules and Code of Conduct, but there is well-informed reasoning behind every decision we make. There are more men than women in the FET universe, even though our gender balance is overall much better than many other kink communities and apps. We have witnessed many male members inundating women with messages, often aggressively, and putting women off the community in general. We can see in our system that women are approached far more by men via direct messages than the other way around, therefore, to make male members use their messages in a meaningful way, as well as women knowing they're in a safe space, there is a limit on how many messages a male member can send. I hope this clears up some concerns you have!
Bimatic Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 FET isn't sexiest, so much as a lot of men are desperate idiots who can't take a hint 🤣
Deleted Member Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 Because men send more messages than women, so if you restrict the amount of messages a man can send, then he's ***d to upgrade if he wants to send more, its the way with these sort of sites, let the women have free reign & men, because we are more desperate, will pay to talk to the women, whereas, they know the majority of women wouldn't pay to use a site, so they use them as bait to make men pay
qu**** Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 Nothing sexist, just standard practice for pretty much all dating/community sites, men generally make the first move, so the more women on a site the more men who will pay to join, most dating sites are sold to women just as that, a dating site, but to men the same site can be called a hook up site
Nylon-Nellie Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 I have had this last year, I sent a male a message but I could not send him another message for 3 months. The only way that I could message him again, is if he replied to my first initial message to him. I was able to message him again, 3 months down the line. You are not blocked (in theory you are) until that persons replies to your initial message or you wait 3 months.
Leisa Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 56 minutes ago, quietlysure said: Nothing sexist, just standard practice for pretty much all dating/community sites, men generally make the first move, so the more women on a site the more men who will pay to join, most dating sites are sold to women just as that, a dating site, but to men the same site can be called a hook up site I paid for my upgrade
Leisa Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 1 hour ago, BDSMkinkydom said: Because men send more messages than women, so if you restrict the amount of messages a man can send, then he's ***d to upgrade if he wants to send more, its the way with these sort of sites, let the women have free reign & men, because we are more desperate, will pay to talk to the women, whereas, they know the majority of women wouldn't pay to use a site, so they use them as bait to make men pay As a woman a woman in the community I’ve never met one who didn’t pay for the upgrade in one form or the other
Leisa Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 Ugh I just received an offer to be someone’s baby. Maybe that explains why men are limited.
qu**** Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 So it's nothing to do with the fact that the sites a business, and knowing men are still encouraged to make the first move, then encouraged to upgrade to be able to send more messages has no bearing on it, let's be honest sex sells
Deleted Member Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 I didn't know men couldn't message again for months if I didn't reply! D'oh 🤦🏻♀️
qu**** Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 It varies, you get a limited amount of messages, then when used you have to wait
to**** Posted May 10, 2021 Author Posted May 10, 2021 I think you’re clearly all missing the point. Why are men’s messages to a female limited when a females messages to a male are not? I have received several from the same women over a period of days (I have never replied to one) yet I send a female a message (irrelevant of upgrade) and cannot message again until they reply. And for any wise crack comments like ‘send them a no thanks message’ I find that just incites them to leave comments on things.
to**** Posted May 10, 2021 Author Posted May 10, 2021 Yes I know men can be annoying pests. But very clearly so can women!
to**** Posted May 10, 2021 Author Posted May 10, 2021 2 hours ago, quietlysure said: It varies, you get a limited amount of messages, then when used you have to wait It doesn’t vary at all. If the female doesn’t reply to the first message it’s a 3 month blanket ban.
Deleted Member Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 22 minutes ago, topspur30 said: I think you’re clearly all missing the point. Why are men’s messages to a female limited when a females messages to a male are not? I have received several from the same women over a period of days (I have never replied to one) yet I send a female a message (irrelevant of upgrade) and cannot message again until they reply. And for any wise crack comments like ‘send them a no thanks message’ I find that just incites them to leave comments on things. You've received a reply explaining why the site does it this way. From Annalou. You just don't like the answer? Just like anyone else (either sex) you could report and block. Do you receive messages about destroying your ass? Calling you a bitch? threats? I suspect not. Women do. All the time. And that's why the rule is in place. Not all men. Not all the time. But enough abusive messages that it's needed.
CopperKnob Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 26 minutes ago, topspur30 said: It doesn’t vary at all. If the female doesn’t reply to the first message it’s a 3 month blanket ban. I think it does vary i get msgs from the same guys i havent replied to sometimes within hours/days, its not a straight forward 3mth ban in all instances
li**** Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 1 hour ago, topspur30 said: It doesn’t vary at all. If the female doesn’t reply to the first message it’s a 3 month blanket ban. This isn't just limited to males on the site as this has happened to me also. Ive messaged other members and again had that same message where I have to wait 90 days to send another message or I have to wait for them to send me a message back, so it's not just males this happens to on the site. But the majority of messages I get are from males who clearly don't like being told No or that I've a Dom already ( cause clearly being a woman on a kink/fetish site I'm up for anything ) 🙄🔫
Mo**** Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 1 hour ago, topspur30 said: I think you’re clearly all missing the point. Why are men’s messages to a female limited when a females messages to a male are not? I have received several from the same women over a period of days (I have never replied to one) yet I send a female a message (irrelevant of upgrade) and cannot message again until they reply. And for any wise crack comments like ‘send them a no thanks message’ I find that just incites them to leave comments on things. Then mate if that person is worrying you - BLOCK them.
TeeJay_98 Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) On 5/8/2021 at 11:46 PM, topspur30 said: How come a man can only message a woman once and then is blocked for three months from messaging again, yet it seems women can continually message again and again? This happens to women also, perhaps do the research before spitting your dummy out? 🤔 I do believe it depends on memberships etc too Edited May 10, 2021 by TeeJay_98 Typo
Je**** Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 On 5/8/2021 at 11:46 PM, topspur30 said: How come a man can only message a woman once and then is blocked for three months from messaging again, yet it seems women can continually message again and again? this applies to women too. i messaged someone to thank them for something and they didnt see it for 3 days and i was blocked for 90 days to message if they didnt respond. though i have heard that its sexist for not allowing men(??) a limited amount of messages and to message a picture message... from the g***vine, to stop unwanted dick pics... who knows.
Deleted Member Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 8 hours ago, lil-monster said: This isn't just limited to males on the site as this has happened to me also. Ive messaged other members and again had that same message where I have to wait 90 days to send another message or I have to wait for them to send me a message back, so it's not just males this happens to on the site. But the majority of messages I get are from males who clearly don't like being told No or that I've a Dom already ( cause clearly being a woman on a kink/fetish site I'm up for anything ) 🙄🔫 But he's a man and having a woman annoy him is far more important than any hassle women get LilM 😉😆
Deleted Member Posted May 10, 2021 Posted May 10, 2021 3 minutes ago, JenniferTP said: this applies to women too. i messaged someone to thank them for something and they didnt see it for 3 days and i was blocked for 90 days to message if they didnt respond. though i have heard that its sexist for not allowing men(??) a limited amount of messages and to message a picture message... from the g***vine, to stop unwanted dick pics... who knows. Love that I don't get 🍆pics on here! I didn't know anyone encountered a 90 day rule until today and I've been here over a year. 😯
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