Messages while in Lobby.

[qu****]

Well they've added a quick kink feature, can't see the point, makes it seem more like a hook-up feature, going against the get to know someone ethos we are proud to have here. I mean you can already send a spank via profile so why add a shortcut 🤷

[Deleted Member]

@Annalou any thoughts ? 😁

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

Well they've added a quick kink feature, can't see the point, makes it seem more like a hook-up feature, going against the get to know someone ethos we are proud to have here. I mean you can already send a spank via profile so why add a shortcut 🤷

Sometime you can’t send a spank before the person message you. The quick hook up is one of these features you find on dating site... it’s just a familiar add on 

[Deleted Member]

I actually think it’s a really good idea. I get that having to alter settings while in chat then remembering to reset them when you leave is a hassle. A one button solution makes a lot of sense to me. 
 

[Charms]

Its a good idea for those that want it.

 

I'm not sure if I'd ues it. As I often get pms of random people who are in lobby going there new to the site and I will help them navigate the web site.

 

Or if a new person joins lobby I will always welcome them and stuff when they say there new not just to fetish.com but kink. Iv had lots of chats with new kinksters and spoke to them and given them places to look for information. Iv often had people come back and say ty for the information.  Or ty for speaking to me as they were so nervous when they joined the chat room.

 

Even though its a chat room people can still feel nervous about joining

[Je****]

10 minutes ago, Charms said:

Its a good idea for those that want it.

 

I'm not sure if I'd ues it. As I often get pms of random people who are in lobby going there new to the site and I will help them navigate the web site.

 

Or if a new person joins lobby I will always welcome them and stuff when they say there new not just to fetish.com but kink. Iv had lots of chats with new kinksters and spoke to them and given them places to look for information. Iv often had people come back and say ty for the information.  Or ty for speaking to me as they were so nervous when they joined the chat room.

 

Even though its a chat room people can still feel nervous about joining

i totally respect this. its more of a respectable thing in my eyes where after having repeatedly asked people not to message me they do it and the contents are usually offensive and vulgar. a genuine person will ask for help and chat, someone whos not so nice is usually just looking their end off and its happens to so many so much, i would probably have this feature on most of the time if not all 

[qu****]

One problem would be if site decides instead to stop or overly limit messaging by basic members ( non-paying), I've been on other sites where this happened, their explanation being it was basic members causing this problem, result basic and paying members left

[Je****]

29 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

One problem would be if site decides instead to stop or overly limit messaging by basic members ( non-paying), I've been on other sites where this happened, their explanation being it was basic members causing this problem, result basic and paying members left

I assure you its not only basic members. A lot of the pests have been premium and vip for me. 

I think basic members already have a limit in place (seen people complaining in chat before) 

 

But again this wouldnt be a worry if people who dont want messaged while on chat, activate this feature then no one can message them. It filters/prevents every one fairly (aka stops pms altogether) whether paying member or not. 

Maybe a setting could to allow members to pm in chat if a convo wasalready exchanged in private or off altogether

Many possibilities 

[Deleted Member]

The site was asking for suggestions on improvements a while back. so yes add a button for convenience, I think it's a good idea. If it makes user experience easier,  it can only be a good thing.

[Je****]

4 minutes ago, Chiana said:

The site was asking for suggestions on improvements a while back. so yes add a button for convenience, I think it's a good idea. If it makes user experience easier,  it can only be a good thing.

Thank you chiana! 

It definately would and it would be optional so the website will offer the user CHOICE which is a big atttaction for most. 

Maybe even one where u can open or close ur own inbox in general if too many messages and you cant keep up. 

Many people have diff experiences with their inboxes but if it will be helpful for even half the members im sure it would be worth it 

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, JenniferTP said:

Thank you chiana! 

It definately would and it would be optional so the website will offer the user CHOICE which is a big atttaction for most. 

Maybe even one where u can open or close ur own inbox in general if too many messages and you cant keep up. 

Many people have diff experiences with their inboxes but if it will be helpful for even half the members im sure it would be worth it 

I don't even know why this would been seen as anything else but just a switch on and off filter. This place has filters already for selecting prefered tastes. I would just find it easier to not have to leave chat when someone does message.

[Je****]

1 hour ago, Chiana said:

I don't even know why this would been seen as anything else but just a switch on and off filter. This place has filters already for selecting prefered tastes. I would just find it easier to not have to leave chat when someone does message.

yup, thats what i was aiming at by the post. 

a filter/setting that is activated once you come into chat. turns off your inbox so people cannot message you and auto switches off when u leave chat. makes your chat experience a lot less interupted and not being messaged every time u say hi to someone in there, would maybe encourage them to be polite and ask :)

[uk****]

I pm myself when I'm feeling lonely. 

Just saying.

 

[Adam75228]

As a person that uses chat in a voyeuristic way, it seems like how your profile is set up may determine how often this happens. Example if your profile suggest you want to be chased, you can't really be surprised when they chase you, even in chat/even when you say don't.
Now granted there are the nutjubs that do what they do, regardless of what you express, I am excluding them and just focusing on persons that get crossed signals based on the content you posted.
It's a given, if you say chase me sometimes, you'll get chased all the time.
If you say, I will chase you if I want you, you will have to chase anyone you want to connect with (well outside of the nut jobs).

So the fix isn't in the system, it's you deciding which side of this you want to have to do work on/be annoyed by.

[Je****]

16 minutes ago, Adam75228 said:

As a person that uses chat in a voyeuristic way, it seems like how your profile is set up may determine how often this happens. Example if your profile suggest you want to be chased, you can't really be surprised when they chase you, even in chat/even when you say don't.
Now granted there are the nutjubs that do what they do, regardless of what you express, I am excluding them and just focusing on persons that get crossed signals based on the content you posted.
It's a given, if you say chase me sometimes, you'll get chased all the time.
If you say, I will chase you if I want you, you will have to chase anyone you want to connect with (well outside of the nut jobs).

So the fix isn't in the system, it's you deciding which side of this you want to have to do work on/be annoyed by.

sort of makes sense. but half the time people dont even read profiles. ive mine stated not single. a status update saying dont pm me if in here. its the first line on my actual description. and still it happens. ive finely outlined i only want to hear from people of a certain age in a certain  location into certain kinks. yet everyone but messages me. 

im sure its the same for many people. but a button to stop people in chat just seeing ur pic and auto pming you, would be great. 

i said to a guy today a kink he had wasnt weird and he was straight into my inbox expecting stuff and quizzin me. no fucking no. shouldnt be happening. 

[Deleted Member]

The “Delete” button works. No software changes or validation required.  

[Makembeg]

There is no point of bitching about DMs from the lobby. It's part of the site and experience.  Get over it and ignore it. It's worked for me for years. 🙄 this seems petty to me. Just delete said message and go on about your day. 

[Je****]

46 minutes ago, Makembeg said:

There is no point of bitching about DMs from the lobby. It's part of the site and experience.  Get over it and ignore it. It's worked for me for years. 🙄 this seems petty to me. Just delete said message and go on about your day. 

This is interesting.

You are one of the people i had in mind who i see having to out / tell/ ask people NOT to pm you and to ask permission first when in there. Quite often too. So that's not "ignoring and getting over it", that's asking someone to respect your wishes as i'm assuming they've read your profile (which you also stated to please ask first). Yet they still ignore.

 

There are many women who also go through this, and a good few men too. Bitching about it in the Lobby won't do anything, youre right. That's why i've brought it here. 

As for part of the site experience, if that site experience is to be ignored and ***d to read dirty private messages non stop from people also sat in a chat lobby, not engaging, spamming women and men alike to try and get their end off or line their pockers, then it's not a very good one.

At least the topic could be mentioned further with the site and if SOME people want to use this feature if it happens, then thats a bonus as the site offering people a CHOICE.

If making a "site suggestion" to request a feature is 'petty' then i don't know why they allow people to make a "site suggestion". If it does get created then at least you have the choice to not use it and can keep asking them to respect you, i'd just have mine switched off to prevent it entirely. Each to their own. 

[Deleted Member]

Can they add a button to get women to message me? That would be appreciated <3

[Je****]

10 minutes ago, Bigminit said:

Can they add a button to get women to message me? That would be appreciated <3

Free the buttons!

[Co****]

Wow this appears to be a somewhat polarising subject.

I don't get the levels of DM's or crude comments that some of the users do so my viewpoint maybe somewhat from the sunnier side, in addition to that I only use the website on a laptop so any DM's that appear whilst I'm in chat just set off a little flashing tab at the bottom of the screen which is perfectly acceptable.

Due to the quantum and content I don't mind this at all, one also needs to consider the practicalities of having an opt out button as the full repercussions of what you wish need to be thought through. 

The proposed "button/toggle" to reject messages whilst in chat, would this be a complete closed door so as to prevent any messages coming through whilst in chat and they bounce back to the sender as undeliverable or just put them in a "holding pattern" whilst the toggle is activated?  If the former, this may prevent genuine messages getting through; as personally I can't always be arsed to be in the chat and send messages to others whom may be in the chat (I don't know if they are or aren't) and likewise sometimes receive them when I'm in chat.  If it is the latter it just defers the messages and you'll receive them all in one "lovely" mail dump.

Neither approach actually addresses the underlying issue and that is of common courtesy, we're an online community and therefore there is a socially acceptable etiquette to be adhered to.... there are always a few whom for some reason doesn't grasp the unwritten rules and unfortunately the relative anonymity of being online exacerbates this as they're protected by their screens.  I personally see this more of an education piece which will ultimately make the online community more cohesive. 

Perhaps it may be more prudent to educate new users on the etiquette prior to enabling their ability to send DM's or alternatively have a separate reporting process for wholly inappropriate DM's with a multiple strike rule, this would prevent any one individual that has an issue with another user from torpedoing them maliciously.  

The scammers and fake profiles are a separate one and that is a blight upon all online communities and sites so is not unique to Fetish and shy of putting everyone through a rigorous ID process can't see a way around this, obviously given the nature of the site I doubt this would be acceptable as some will understandably require their anonymity to remain for personal/professional reasons and as it is a business for scammers they will undoubtedly evolve and be less obvious to spot.  

[Je****]

15 minutes ago, Compelled said:

Wow this appears to be a somewhat polarising subject.

I don't get the levels of DM's or crude comments that some of the users do so my viewpoint maybe somewhat from the sunnier side, in addition to that I only use the website on a laptop so any DM's that appear whilst I'm in chat just set off a little flashing tab at the bottom of the screen which is perfectly acceptable.

Due to the quantum and content I don't mind this at all, one also needs to consider the practicalities of having an opt out button as the full repercussions of what you wish need to be thought through. 

The proposed "button/toggle" to reject messages whilst in chat, would this be a complete closed door so as to prevent any messages coming through whilst in chat and they bounce back to the sender as undeliverable or just put them in a "holding pattern" whilst the toggle is activated?  If the former, this may prevent genuine messages getting through; as personally I can't always be arsed to be in the chat and send messages to others whom may be in the chat (I don't know if they are or aren't) and likewise sometimes receive them when I'm in chat.  If it is the latter it just defers the messages and you'll receive them all in one "lovely" mail dump.

Neither approach actually addresses the underlying issue and that is of common courtesy, we're an online community and therefore there is a socially acceptable etiquette to be adhered to.... there are always a few whom for some reason doesn't grasp the unwritten rules and unfortunately the relative anonymity of being online exacerbates this as they're protected by their screens.  I personally see this more of an education piece which will ultimately make the online community more cohesive. 

Perhaps it may be more prudent to educate new users on the etiquette prior to enabling their ability to send DM's or alternatively have a separate reporting process for wholly inappropriate DM's with a multiple strike rule, this would prevent any one individual that has an issue with another user from torpedoing them maliciously.  

The scammers and fake profiles are a separate one and that is a blight upon all online communities and sites so is not unique to Fetish and shy of putting everyone through a rigorous ID process can't see a way around this, obviously given the nature of the site I doubt this would be acceptable as some will understandably require their anonymity to remain for personal/professional reasons and as it is a business for scammers they will undoubtedly evolve and be less obvious to spot.  

You made some great points in this Comp.

I get some Dm's as they see me in the Lobby (as they are in there too), have viewed me 5 times and yet still message. I've got it written literally everywhere on my profile and comments from this post also show on my profile time line.

But they still message.

"Hey" or "Can I wank on your shoes?", "Will you be my domme so I can be your bottom bitch. Please sexy lady, I will pay.."

And one sent me 'dick pics' without even so much as a hello. 

THAT is not what I signed up for. I signed up to meet those minded and commuicate with people in this lifestyle to learn and grow. Not to look at some thirsty guys cock who I haven't even interacted with..

 

Saying this, I do believe some members come in to lurk and see whos active. Knowing they're online, they message as a quick way to get a response. How many come in and try to hook up or demand stuff off, "Any woman or female here?". If you even look in their direction, they see that as a green light to get into your inbox and throw all sorts of filth and *** at you. How is this acceptable in any platform or RL?

Me personally, if I had a button or toggle feature I'd use to to close my inbox entirely. As I mentioned above if there was a feature that you click on to deactivate inbox while in chat maybe a, "No Entry" logo would appear beside your username in the list.

Meaning you are not available for private mail. So if that user tried to message it simply would give them a, "Sorry this user isn't accepting mail at the moment."  message. Maybe it doesn't even open a chat box to allow them to waste time typing. Sort of the same when you try to whipser someone and their setting doesn't allow..?!

As for genuine mail, I would run the idea of maybe 3 features?

- "Close / deactivate inbox in chat so no one may DM you." Which would deactivate again once u leave chat. "No entry sign."

- "Clump any messages I recieve while in chat for a 'Later' box". So if someone didn't want DM's right there and then they can check this feature at any time or when they leave lobby, so they still recieve mail. The person mailing might get a "This users inbox is set to sleep" message. "Exclamation mark sign."

- Or just "leave inbox open at all times". "Green smiley face"

 

People leave tracks when they view you. So even if they cannot mail you, you can see if they have visited you, and how many times. There is also a spank feature if someone likes you enough to do that. Then you have that choice if you wish to engage back.

~

 

There is a big ettiquette lacking.

Most come on and do not read rules. I have read that people are having issue with seeing rules while on the app. So people basically don't even realise there is some guidelines or expectations. They don't realise they can place an ad via their profile and come into chat demanding people give them what they want.

Daily people are advising them chat isn't for hook ups and to place an ad.

Perhaps they can do a thing were people need to accept rules for site and chat upon entering...? Even if it's just the once, that way if you have agreed you've read them they cannot use the excuse they didnt know. (To try and limit the amount of demanding 'I'm seeking a sub or mistress' posts). Maybe a security feature, people need to agree to (once) before they can enter.

 

I do get that it would be hard for people to verify and protect their identities, I think that is a much more seperate issue. :(

 

I just hope they might consider a feature if you want mail, so your chat experience is smoother. 

Either way it would be nice to choose/feel you have that choice. It wouldn't do anyone any harm to have an extra option and if inboxes do become overwhelming while in there. That maybe those members can feel a bit of security activating that feature :) 

Thanks Comp, sorry for the ramble. X

 

[FETMOD-GP]

Topic locked as requested from op