cuddles3672 Posted May 23, 2021 Posted May 23, 2021 I am fairly new on here within less then a month. I'm still trying to figure things out on some things. But my question I have let's just say I'm not sure how to ask it since it may sound a bit odd since it involves the lifestyle but let's just say one part of it is I am extremely into it and the other part has not quite but almost opposite effect. But in order to be in what seems like most lifestyles you have to be indulging both am I correct? And also another thing for example wise if you go into one type of the lifestyle and seems the other person will get to experience their fantasies their fetishes and kinks according to what I have read but you dont how can that be exciting? Again I'm just trying to figure out where fiting into everything.
ey**** Posted May 23, 2021 Posted May 23, 2021 There's a lot that can seem confusing. But. Ultimately you don't have to (and shouldn't) do anything you don't want to do. If a sub - submission should be given freely or not at all If a Dominant - then, a lot might be your frame work and any form of kinky play outside of a D/s structure, similar applies. Of course, you might have your own likes and dislikes and things you might be fluid about. Sometimes this might also help shape who you are and aren't compatible with. -- Let us say... I meet someone who really doesn't like their feet being touched. Foot fetish is a big thing for me. So I need to decide whether I am happy with this, or whether this is a dealbreaker. I might make someone else who has specific rules for their partners and I can look and see how happy I am with them and if they work for me. If I am not happy with them, we're not compatible. Sometimes, there might be stuff you are willing to be flexible with - but sacrificing too much or shifting too much (as either a sub or a Dominant) you shouldn't be unhappy. No partner is better than a partner you aren't satisfied with.
Fa**** Posted May 23, 2021 Posted May 23, 2021 I agree with you cuddles. I am still exploring alot of this culture. But my anxities make it hard to go for the first step. But I agree with everything that eyemblacksheep says. It's a dynamic that both people should enjoy. If one of you isn't then it is a decision that ultimately needs to be made between you and your partner ^^
cuddles3672 Posted May 23, 2021 Author Posted May 23, 2021 I have only had one person outside of this site still within fetish and for a dominant she didnt seem in too much agreements any questions or suggestions I had were quickly dismissed stating only to follow her commands only and talked about weekly fee of sorts so that didnt go ....as you see hard to get the right idea over what you are able to get out of things what you're able to negotiate or what area aspects you truly belong in but I appreciate your comments since helps me know with a good partner she will be flexible in which way of what is negotiable what we can or cannot be flexible with and be able to both carry out some fetish/fantasy/kinks on both sides so we both can see if we are compatible in it.
Fa**** Posted May 23, 2021 Posted May 23, 2021 Yh it is all about preagreed circumstances. That's the point of hard and soft limits, safe words etc. It's always fun to try something new but at the same time you should only have a Dom that demands things from you if it is pre set before a session and if you don't want /aren't comfortable then it isn't a dynamic anymore
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