Older men and (much) younger women

[ey****]

for no deliberate reason, every woman I've dates has been younger than me (some a couple of months - some a few years) but in most cases this was just coincidental.

there was one ex-partner who did generally prefer men who were older than her to some degree - and - largely, it was that she'd had negative experiences dating around her age and those older were more likely to have their shit together in her experience.  (which would question why she was with me, ha? ) 

I'm not sure I completely agree with her hypothesis, but a lot of this was just based on her experiences 

And, given I was certainly broke as fuck then, it wasn't my *** she was after.

 

[Deleted Member]

Totally agree with you @eyemblacksheep. All my subs were young under 27. All have a job, except two students, so not interested in ***. It’s ludicrous to think that in bdsm young women are after *** or mature men are into them for attention? We are mature for a reason, we are not needy and have a perfect healthy mind! 
 They didn’t want or like boys, and as mentioned above, we have qualities that corresponded to their needs. This is why most of young subs come to us, they feel safer, and know we are not judgmental either. 
I know they are some young ones who specifically target old men for *** but that’s up to them, I won’t entertain that kind of relationship. I prefer women who really want to learn the way of bdsm and not being a “kinky escort”. 
It’s also the way round when daddies target young women and lavish them for company in return. 
can’t my love ans can’t my dominance….🐺 

[Deleted Member]

Have we listed enough stereotypes now? FGS🙄 Older guys are this, younger guys are that, young women are after ***. We all have preferences. Our preferences are based on experiences with individuals and how they interact with us. Can we acknowledge that instead of claiming that swathes of people are all the same?🤨

[SirMasterDaddy-Dom]

It's the maturity, mindset, and connection, chemistry that matters. I am not what you class as young, and not old either,.. yet :) But there are both men and women who are young but have a very mature mindset, thinking, sure they don't have the amount of experience, but I know plenty older ones both men and women who only have bad experiences which turns them bitter or toxic. Knowledge, wisdom, respect, maturity is what makes a person attractive to younger ones, which can happen with a young one too. I try not to be closed minded as you never know when you will be surprised. But I do have to admit, I have noticed that my last few D/S relations were with girls in ***s and 20s. It just happens. Like one sub once asked me if I go for English or European and my response was that I don't go out with a GPS or signal that here are all the girls from certain background. Online makes it easier to filter, but I don't believe in divisions based on age, race, region, etc.

Obviously you still have to feel attraction and chemistry which is why many despite being great remain acquaintances or friends. 

[Deleted Member]

I've dated predominantly older men, be it a couple of years older than me, or a decade plus older and whilst I initially attributed it to my attachment style. I've since examined it and it's not the case; I just find older men physically attractive. Personally I blame Sean Bean. Yep it's got nothing to do with my daddy issues😂.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

  22 hours ago, HelloSailor said:

I've dated predominantly older men, be it a couple of years older than me, or a decade plus older and whilst I initially attributed it to my attachment style. I've since examined it and it's not the case; I just find older men physically attractive. Personally I blame Sean Bean. Yep it's got nothing to do with my daddy issues😂.

Thanks very much. Above all, I'm a real sailor 

 

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[Deleted Member]

  On 6/19/2021 at 4:14 PM, HelloSailor said:

I've dated predominantly older men, be it a couple of years older than me, or a decade plus older and whilst I initially attributed it to my attachment style. I've since examined it and it's not the case; I just find older men physically attractive. Personally I blame Sean Bean. Yep it's got nothing to do with my daddy issues😂.

 

 

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Did you watch “time”? 

[Deleted Member]

  5 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

Did you watch “time”? 

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Not yet, I've heard good things though. Jimmy McGovern is brillant. Did you enjoy it?

[Deleted Member]

  2 minutes ago, HelloSailor said:

Not yet, I've heard good things though. Jimmy McGovern is brillant. Did you enjoy it?

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Yes it was good and fairly realistic. I was a bit disappointed it finished so quickly ! 
Yeah another great writer for gritty witty life 😁

[ol****]

I'll throw in my 2 cents worth here. ..and I suspect I'm old enough not to have to worry too much about the initial statement. After all at my age I can barely raise a smile right?

@Curvykate and @HelloSailor have provided all the answer that the guys will ever need. It's a matter of choice and what works for the two people concerned.

Some women will be attracted to some men some of the time. Sometimes an older woman will be attracted to a younger man and sometimes a younger woman will be attracted to an older man, and all the other combinations of that statement you can think of. That's it, no mystery.

@HelloSailor - it is possible for a star to fit into a hexagon BTW, the other way around maybe not so much?

Edited June 26, 2021 by oldfellow

[Pa****]

When i  posted this topic originally, i didn't expect to receive such a wide and differing range of view points. In fact i was expecting just to be ripped to shreds.

The best thing about the responses / comments is that it has given me an opportunity to reflect about this, which has been really helpful for  my own self awareness.

Thank you to each and everyone of you.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

  On 6/26/2021 at 12:48 PM, oldfellow said:

I'll throw in my 2 cents worth here. ..and I suspect I'm old enough not to have to worry too much about the initial statement. After all at my age I can barely raise a smile right?

@Curvykate and @HelloSailor have provided all the answer that the guys will ever need. It's a matter of choice and what works for the two people concerned.

Some women will be attracted to some men some of the time. Sometimes an older woman will be attracted to a younger man and sometimes a younger woman will be attracted to an older man, and all the other combinations of that statement you can think of. That's it, no mystery.

@HelloSailor - it is possible for a star to fit into a hexagon BTW, the other way around maybe not so much?

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Yeah but as shapes go stars are more interesting. No one would want to be a hexagon 😂

[Pa****]

  1 hour ago, HelloSailor said:

Yeah but as shapes go stars are more interesting. No one would want to be a hexagon 😂

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Agreed, but i bet some would like to be a Pentadecagon.... ..

[Deleted Member]

  5 minutes ago, Paraphilias said:

Agreed, but i bet some would like to be a Pentadecagon.... ..

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Now that's a pretty neat shape. I think@oldfellow was referring to a comment I made on my page. Sorry for bringing geometry into this 😂

[Pa****]

[ol****]

@HelloSailor always happy to chat about complex geometery but you'll need to PM me (your filters prevent me PM ing you.)

Finding your "place" or at least a facet of it is complex. Particulary if you know it's only one need amoung many.

[Ju****]

Reading some of these comments makes me feel odd haha. More in a "how come im not like" this kind of way as quite a lot seem to be!

 

For me, i am not attracted to 'older men' but then define older. haha. I like maybe 4-5yrs either side of my own age (31), anything more than that for me is a push. Now saying that i CAN find men considerably older than me 'attractive' but its not what i seek when if wanting a relationship. 

I think for me when i see an older man i can appreciate how mature they look and behave, more repsonsible (in most cases) and know what they want and can communicate that. I would think this is a very good draw for a lot of ladies who want someone that isnt just some 'fuck boy' or  'jack the lad' type.

 

Opposite side of this, i cant have (some) younger men (under 25) near me. I find they are more focussed on 'one thing', want to throw it about wherever they can and most dont have the same respect and mindset as some older men do. Now this obviously isnt directed at every younger man (i am dating someone 2yrs younger than myself atm) but the amount who have approached me being younger, just the whole vibe they give off, what they say and how they behave, its a massive turn off. Some of the best conversations and respect have came from an older gent. 

 

I hope *i* dont get torn to shreds for my comment, as this is just what ive found whilst on here through interactions (im not on any other dating sites) and it really varies from person to person. This is just my opinion and means diddly squat to anyone else.

 

Regardless, be flattered, take the compliments from the younger ladies and live a little! See what happens and enjoy yourself, its all we can do :)

[LatexThing]

From my experience being in my early 50's it comes down to a few things. The obvious being maturity and wisdom. But think there's also the most important combination: Personality and charisma. Looks help, but if you can hold a conversation, be engaging and just treat that person as an equal, rather than a sex object then that helps too.

When I got out of my 40's matured and became more inclined to be happy talking, rather than thinking about my compass, I found the same thing. Granted, I'll talk to anybody, but found that women of a particular age group wanted to become more acquainted.

I wouldn't consider myself to be anything special and I keep my fetishes to myself, never do I proclaim to any and all exactly what I really am, so come across as just another guy, who may appear slightly reserved.

 

Women are intuitive and can pick up on these things, so maybe, just maybe there's also a certain mystery too, because on the rare occasion I've been completely open, there's been a knowing nod and "I knew there was something different about you." type moment.

That's just my experience, but middle age isn't a decline, more a turning point, where you're deemed (sometimes) interesting than other age groups because you have more experiences under your belt and understand how to treat women (of all ages) with considerable respect.

 

Ultimately, for me, age is irrelevant. If you can hold a conversation, have mutual likes and respect for the other person....but most importantly.....enjoy their company then (within reason) does it matter how old they are, so long as you happy in the presence of the other. When it comes to adults, age is just a number right?

Edited June 29, 2021 by LatexThing
Typo

[Cu****]

I purposely seek out older men, and my Dom is 17 years older. I did try my age group, and i did try younger by about 8 to 10 years but i was very dissatisfied. 

 

In my experiences,  younger men were selfish, only interested in how many holes they could poke with no real concern for my welfare. When i first started my submissive journey, many younger 'dom identifying ' persons were so involved with power play there was no scope for me to grow. I learn by asking questions, discussing and evaluating so i can improve. I asked one such person a question and his response was, you dont think, you just do as i tell you.

 

90% of the older 'dom identifying ' men i spoke with were real gentlemen who understood you need to capture my mind to capture my attention. They cultivated a conversation on neutral grounds, and genuinely wanted to know what makes me tick. They importantly took that time. 

 

To me younger men seek the quick thrill of a disposable relationship and many havent been taught how to build a network of trust and respect, as they feel they deserve it all but give none.

 

Older men wear this cloak of maturity and self assurance. They are also more experienced in this lifestyle. I was not prepared to give myself over to someone who did not know what they were doing.

 

There are many reasons younger women are enthralled by older men. These are mine.

[Deleted Member]

Not entirely relevent to this thread but I spent last friday night with a much younger woman. She was married and her husband was there too. I'm 53 and she was 28 AFAIK.

I was there to be her slave for the night, specifically because she had an odd fetish where she got turned on by men in *** or discomort and her husband was not willing to do what she wanted to try.

I had been recommended to her for my high *** threshold and I was happy for her to experiment on me. However I called a stop to proceedings and walked out on her after i repeatedly had to use my safe word when she went beyond agreed limits and especially after she ignored it entirely in the heat of the moment.

She has bombarded me with emails this week apologizing and begging me to go back. She claims that she has not had anybody stand up to her before and she finds it refreshing. She also claims that she prefers my experience over her husbands. (I assume she means my *** threshold in relation to her arousal at it)

Not directly related to an age thing BUT I guess older men will have more experience? and are more willing to say no as they have seen it all before? not sure, her husband was a bit of a wuss! Anyway, in her own words she says she got more satisfaction with me than with her younger husband. 

You couldn't even use the wealth thing as a factor because in this case she was far wealthier than me AND her husband was an attractive fit 30'ish yr old farmer who made me look positively unfit and old.

So in answer to OP's question, who knows??? people are all different and as a man I have long since given up trying to understand the female mind. After all, we are from mars and they are from venus...... 😁

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

  June 29, LatexThing said:

From my experience being in my early 50's it comes down to a few things. The obvious being maturity and wisdom. But think there's also the most important combination: Personality and charisma. Looks help, but if you can hold a conversation, be engaging and just treat that person as an equal, rather than a sex object then that helps too.

When I got out of my 40's matured and became more inclined to be happy talking, rather than thinking about my compass, I found the same thing. Granted, I'll talk to anybody, but found that women of a particular age group wanted to become more acquainted.

I wouldn't consider myself to be anything special and I keep my fetishes to myself, never do I proclaim to any and all exactly what I really am, so come across as just another guy, who may appear slightly reserved.

 

Women are intuitive and can pick up on these things, so maybe, just maybe there's also a certain mystery too, because on the rare occasion I've been completely open, there's been a knowing nod and "I knew there was something different about you." type moment.

That's just my experience, but middle age isn't a decline, more a turning point, where you're deemed (sometimes) interesting than other age groups because you have more experiences under your belt and understand how to treat women (of all ages) with considerable respect.

 

Ultimately, for me, age is irrelevant. If you can hold a conversation, have mutual likes and respect for the other person....but most importantly.....enjoy their company then (within reason) does it matter how old they are, so long as you happy in the presence of the other. When it comes to adults, age is just a number right?

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I like your take on being older. It does se a turning point to me and perhaps explains partly why some younger men seem to like me.

[Deleted Member]

  49 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I like your take on being older. It does se a turning point to me and perhaps explains partly why some younger men seem to like me.

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Thing is Curvykate, I think it is more understandable to see how a younger male could find an older female attractive. Hell I still find many older women highly attractive myself. However I'm genuinely at a loss why a younger female would find me (as a 50 something bloke) attractive. Younger guys are (or can be) fitter, have greater stamina, no grey hair, less likely to be overweight etc.  All I have to offer is experience or maybe better cooking skills? LOL

(or as in the case I described above, my higher threshold for CBT, but I had that when I was 18 so not really an age thing)

 

[Deleted Member]

Actually in my case I smoke and I have noticed virtually all the people I go out to smoke with at work (or even doing jury service!) are younger women. We get on great and build up a great relationship, have fab conversations and can talk about about anything.  Not that I'm condoning smoking but just find it odd that so many younger women smoke yet not that many younger men? 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

  11 hours ago, LovingSub999 said:

Thing is Curvykate, I think it is more understandable to see how a younger male could find an older female attractive. Hell I still find many older women highly attractive myself. However I'm genuinely at a loss why a younger female would find me (as a 50 something bloke) attractive. Younger guys are (or can be) fitter, have greater stamina, no grey hair, less likely to be overweight etc.  All I have to offer is experience or maybe better cooking skills? LOL

(or as in the case I described above, my higher threshold for CBT, but I had that when I was 18 so not really an age thing)

 

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I guess we are not seeing ourselves as others do. But nor do I make a list like that about a potential partner - whether they have less stamina or grey hair or not the perfect body. That's not how I decide I like someone and want to be with them. It's whether I find them attractive overall - looks and personality. And not necessarily conventionally attractive - my ex wasn't. I thought he was gorgeous because something in him spoke to something in me.

[ey****]

  11 hours ago, LovingSub999 said:

Thing is Curvykate, I think it is more understandable to see how a younger male could find an older female attractive. Hell I still find many older women highly attractive myself. However I'm genuinely at a loss why a younger female would find me (as a 50 something bloke) attractive. Younger guys are (or can be) fitter, have greater stamina, no grey hair, less likely to be overweight etc.  All I have to offer is experience or maybe better cooking skills? LOL

(or as in the case I described above, my higher threshold for CBT, but I had that when I was 18 so not really an age thing)

 

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mate, I've had periods where I'm boggled why *anyone* would find *me* attractive, but, here we are